Animal Puns: Dogs, Cats, Birds, Horses, Ducks
Puns, especially animal puns, bring a sprinkle of knee-slapping hilarity to life. Really, what’s better than hearing about your favorite animal and a little snappy wordplay?
If you like jokes about wild things, then you’ve come to the right place! Whether you’re looking for a doggone, funny animal joke, a purrfectly silly cat pun, or a pun to quack up to, you’ll find them in our collection.
Puns About Animals
You’ll be able to find animal puns you can use for greeting cards, text messages, or just to tell your family and friends to erupt in a whirl of unending laughter. See what they’re all about below and enjoy!
Jump to any Animal Puns category on this page by using the links below, or simply scroll down to see them all.
Dog Puns
How did the Scottish dog react when it saw a ghost?
He was Terrier-fied.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework to do?
A Lab report.
What do you call a magician?
A Labracadarabrador.
What did the dog say after a long day of hard work?
Today was ruff.
What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A bloodhound.
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Hound Off Double Entendre
What did the Dalmatian say after eating?
That hit the spot.
What did the dog hear after its performance?
A round of appaws.
How did the puppy feel after losing his play ball?
Really pawful.
Who are always around famous pups?
Their pawdyguards.
What is the only holiday dogs celebrate?
Fleas Navidad.
Check out our Insider’s Guide to National Mutt Day.
Cat Puns
What did the cat order at Taco Bell?
A purrito.
What do cats write their homework on?
Paypurr.
What do felines put on to solve problems
Their thinking cats.
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What do you call a feline who plays instruments?
A meowsician.
Why did the cat go to jail?
For littering.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
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The Cat’s Meow of Wit
What do you call the cat police?
Paw-enforcement.
What do cats wear to smell good?
Purr-fume.
What couldn’t the kitten ever get anything done?
Because he had bad pro-cat-stination.
Why do cats tell jokes?
Because they love kitten around.
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What do cats like to read?
Catalogs
What do you call a painting of a cat?
A paw-trait.
What kind of sports car do cats drive?
A furrari.
What’s a cat’s favorite day of the week?
Cat-urday.
Tip: These animal puns make for some fun captions for photos on social media posts.
Bear Necessities of Puns
How do you catch a fish without a fishing rod?
With your bear hands.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
A Coca-Koala.
Why don’t bears like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it.
What do you call a bear that flies and never lands?
Peter Panda.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrr.
How do you start a teddy bear race?
Teddy, Set, Go.
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Bearly a Bon Mot
What did the teddy bear say after finishing dinner?
I’m stuffed.
What do polar bears like to eat in the summer?
Brrrrgers.
What are bears called when caught out in the rain?
Drizzly bears.
What is a bear’s favorite pastry?
Blue-beary pie.
Horse Witticism
What did the woman say to the arrogant equestrian?
Get off of your high horse.
Why did the horse save up so much money?
Because it wants to be financially stable.
What do you call a handsome horse?
A stud.
How much did the equestrian pay for his food?
A couple of bucks.
Where does a pony hear rumors?
From the horse’s mouth.
No Horsing Around
Why are horses so kind?
Because of their amazing horse-potality.
What is the only food that will race a horse?
Fast food.
What is a horse’s favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
Why was the little pony removed from class?
Because he was horsing around.
What do you call a horse who has seen the world?
A globetrotter.
Equestrian Quips
Who plays music at parties for horses?
A disc jockey.
What kind of bread do horses eat?
Thoroughbread.
What did the equestrian say to his sad horse?
“Why the long face?”
Where do you take sick ponies?
To the horse-pital.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it’s neck to neck.
What kind of bad dreams do horses have?
Night-mares.
What do you call a horse that lives next to you?
Neigh-bor.
Bird Punny Phrases
Why did the parrot stop performing at the circus?
Because he said it was too much of a birden.
What should you never do to an angry bird?
Ruffle its feathers.
How were the birds able to throw a successful event?
Because everyone was pigeon in.
What do you call a bird in prison?
A jailbird.
What do you give a sick bird?
Medical tweetment.
Why did the bird get in trouble in school?
Because he was caught peeping on the test.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
Because he wasn’t chicken.
Tweeter Word Play
How do chickens get strong?
Eggs-ercise.
What do crows use to stick together in a flock?
With velcrow.
What did one egg say to the other egg?
Let’s get cracking.
What do birds eat for breakfast?
Quacker Oats.
How did the egg cross the road?
It scrambled across.
What do you call a sad bird?
A bluebird.
Fowl Play on Words That Is
What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?
Owlgebra.
What do you call a very rude bird?
A mockingbird.
What do you call a sick eagle?
An Illegal.
What’s a parrot’s favorite game?
Hide and Speak.
How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two can do it.
What did the bird say when it was cold?
Birrrrrrrd.
Where do birds invest their money?
In a stork market.
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Duck Puns
What do ducks say when taking your food order?
Waddle it be?
What do astronomer ducks study?
Signs of the zodiquack.
What time does a duck wake up?
At the quack of dawn.
What do ducks get after they eat?
The bill.
Who stole the soap?
The robber docky.
What do ducks do on the Fourth of July?
Set of firequackers.
Our Ducks in a Row
Why do ducks watch the news?
For the feather forecast.
Where to sick ducks go?
To the ducktor.
What did the detective duck say to this partner?
I hope we quack the case.
How do ducks carry their books to school?
With their quackbacks.
What do you call a duck that can fix anything?
Duck tape.
What do ducks do after hearing a joke?
They quack up.
Best Animal Puns
Who is the new heifer?
Never seen herbivore.
What did the buffalo say to his son who was departing for college?
Bison.
What do you call an owl who does magic tricks?
Hoodini!
What job did the frog have at the hotel?
Bellhop.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Unicorn Puns
What do unicorns eat for breakfast?
Lucky Charms.
What do unicorns call their dad?
Popcorn.
What road do unicorns live on?
Mane Street.
What do you call a scary unicorn?
A nightmare.
What do you call a unicorn with no horn?
A horse.
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Define Pun
Puns can be found in everyday life, both intentionally or accidentally and create humorous effects, depending upon the ambiguities that a word(s) entails. By definition, a pun is a humorous play on words formed in a phrase to emphasize or suggest different meanings, especially by similar-sounding words.
By Mike O’Halloran
When he’s not hollerin’ out puns, O’Halloran is the editor of Greeting Card Poet.
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