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Beach Instagram Captions: Funny, Cute, Good

March 11, 2019 By The Poet

Looking for some funny beach Instagram captions? We’ve got you covered like SPF 50.

Everyone enjoys a day at the beach. The sun, the sand, the seagulls trying to take your food — it’s practically paradise. And your gang loves to take selfies and pose for photos in all kinds of compromising positions. So, with tongue firmly in cheek, here are a bunch of beachy captions for instagram or your other photos, too.

Try to find captions that best describe the situation and the way you feel. Now you don’t have to worry about coming up with a witty caption, just a great photo. So, relax and enjoy the beach, and have fun picking out some funny lines.

Best Beach Captions

Gone to the Beach; Be Back Never.

And isn’t this the sentiment we all share after a great beach vacation? Who would ever want it to end?

Seas the Day.

Quick and to the point, when you’re escaping a cold winter elsewhere, you need to double-time your beach time. Plus, this is a play-on-words of the old Latin phrase, “Carpe Diem.”

Beach you to it.

One of those great beach instagram captions that is catchy and presents the perfect opportunity to showcase a beautiful photograph.

BEACH: Best Escape Anyone Can Have.

Sunny holidays remind us of previous outings to great beach locales. Is it an escape from the hustle of work and busy schedules? You bet it is!

The beach is my happy place.

If I had a nickel for every time I heard this, I wouldn’t be writing text on this page. You know what the writer means — it’s relaxing and fun to spend a day in the sun.

Shell we dance?

Any type of pun is fair game for a beach caption. This one just happens to work particularly well.

Life is better with a little sand between your toes.

Have you ever noticed that you don’t have to coax kids to go to the beach? It seems virtually everyone, from day day one, loves the feeling of being in water, sand, and the sun.

Ever met an unhappy clam?

You know the saying, “Happy as a clam.” Well, where to clams live?

Beach Instagram Captions

Are you squidding me?

Beach Rebel: Swimming before waiting an hour.

Love the beach, can I be any more Pacific?

Mahalo to the beach gods.

Here’s the crew, live in the sunshine.

I love you to the beach and back.

Take only memories; leave only footprints.

A nice swim in the sea followed by a nap on the beach…heavenly.

Announce to all of social media, you are the queen (king) of the beach!

Beach vacation means relaxation.

Beach Hashtags

Somewhere beyond the sea.

Let it snow elsewhere.

#aquaholic

Beach time is party time.

#youlookfishy

#aloha

Island Captions

Because sometimes you just need a beach day.

Catch the beaches one wave at a time.

The shady side of the beach is like the dark side of the moon.

A summer day at the beach is like a slice of heaven.

Let’s take a deep dive at the beach.

I just don’t feel like myself when I’m not at the beach.

There’s nothing better than a sunrise at the beach.

Bouy, is this a nice beach!

How many beaches does it take to make you happy? One.

Dear beach, never change.

I’m happiest when I’m at the beach, notice smile.

I thought I knew true bliss, then I saw the sign, this way to the beach,

A house on the beach is better than two on the hill.

You’ll worry less at the beach.

If I lived on the beach, I’d be living in heaven.

Beach + Relax = Happy

It’s cocktail hour on beach time.

You can’t find a better life than at the beach.

You’ll find it at the beach.

Fun in the Sun

The beach will tide you over.

High tides, low tides, fun times, repeat.

The time spent at the beach is the best time spent.

At the beach we dream in one color…blue.

Sea you at the beach.

Catch a wave and ride it to the beach.

A beach, a beer, and a buoy, triple threat.

Sand under my feet, sea air in my hair, the sun in my face, doesn’t get any better that.

At the beach, I feel free.

Beach life is the best life.

Funny Beach Captions

Friends don’t let friends swim alone.

Sorry, I’m octupied.

Just remember a pineapple a day keeps the clouds away.

I’ve never met a palm tree I didn’t like.

Water you doing?

Avoid pier pressure.

Girls just wanna have sun.

I wish they made a chewable Vitamin sea.

Sea the beaches, be the beaches.

I’m on the sand with my beaches.

I got a call on this shell, it’s for you.

All you need is beach.

Party like a beach bum.

I can sea clearly now.

Why no, I’m not an adult, why do you ask? The water wings?

I gotta admit, this day is beachin’.

The hills are alive with the sound of crashing waves, my kind of music.

Don’t worry, be salty.

Clever Sayings

A pocket full of shells is better than a pocket full of coins.

Put all the great beaches in the world in one place, what a great place that would be.

The beach is like a smile, it goes a long way to make you feel good.

I need to get away for a couple of waves.

If I’m laying under a palm, I’m calm.

A beach by any other name would still be a beach. Sigh.

Two beaches equal a double dip.

Don’t let the waves go to your head.

I had a sandwich for you but a pelican took it.

My idea of exercise is laying on the beach.

A good beach on a sunny day is better and cheaper than a therapist.

Funny, you don’t look like a beach bum.

It’s more than just water, it’s a wave at the beach.

Sea air is aroma therapy.

The sun makes me smile, but the beach makes me laugh.

If a beach could talk, I bet it would say, “you’re welcome.”

I’m Jonesin’ for some beach.

Wave, after wave, after wave, I think they’re trying to tell me something.

Cute Beach Sayings

You’re one mermaid I wouldn’t throw back.

I love you more than my favorite beach.

The tide comes and the tide goes, but true friends stay.

You are sun kissed and beach missed.

Meet me at high tide, my beautiful bride.

I love you the most, coast to coast.

There may be more fish in the sea, but you’re all I sea.

Stay away from the shade.

Can you say good times and tan lines.

You look like someone who loves the beach.

A beach is full of love and laughter.

Everybody’s gone surfin’, not really, they’re all laying on the beach.

May the waves wash all your cares away.

Ocean, Sand, and Sea Captions

I love the feel of the sand in my toes and the sun on my nose.

A beautiful shell has nothing on you.

Tans may come and go, but good friends won’t fade away.

Just a bunch of beach bums, nothing to sea here, move along.

I saw the beach, it was love at first sight.

I’ve got my toes buried in the sand and a drink buried in my hand.

I’ll follow you to the beach forever.

I stared at the waves, now I’m hypnotized.

If I can sea the ocean, I must be close to happiness.

I find myself every time I go to the beach.

A beach holiday is the best holiday.

Nothing beats a beach.

You feel most alive when you’re at the beach.

I’m a beach baby.

A wave a day keeps the frowns away.

Beach Instagram

A beach face is the best face.

My family tree is a palm.

The favorite end of my journey is always a beach.

I’d follow you anywhere, but especially to the beach.

Clever Beach Picture Captions

The beach is a state of mind, and I want to move there.

A sunny day keeps the worry away.

I may be at a distance, but never far in my heart, enjoying the beach.

It’s true, you need to wait 20 minutes after eating or you get cramps. Here I am cramping up.

True friends are like good beaches, they keep you relaxed and happy.

The beach is the great equalizer, everyone is virtually naked and feeling no pain.

You are one lucky sun of a beach.

You’re wild beach hair is from wild beach air.

Sea you on the flip flop side.

Salt water got her.

I know this palm like the back of my hand.

Hmmm…which would you choose heaven or shell?

I haven’t sea-n you in a long time, funny to run in to you at the beach.

A palm in the hand is worth two on the beach.

Note: Do you have any suggestions for our Beach Instagram Captions? Please let us know.

Beach Puns

You can always be a kid on the beach, no matter your age.

Believe in the power of the beach.

May the beach be with you.

Toes in the blue water, head in the blue sky.

Beach bum, ski bum, big difference.

Not being barefoot on the beach is like wearing formal attire to McDonalds™.

Flip flop, flip flop, flip flop. Just walking down the beach.

Would you like salt with that beach?

My other phone is a sea shell.

Namaste, stay all day at the beach.

The waves and the wind are my music.

When I close my eyes, I see the beach.

I hope a current carries me to you.

I always wanted to be a beach buoy.

A river always flows to the ocean because it misses the beach.

I’m making an 80 degree turn to the beach.

The longer I spend at the beach, the longer I want to stay.

— Tim Moodie

When Tim Moodie isn’t a copywriting or creative directing, you might find him at a beach in Hawaii. He has spent many years writing funny greeting cards, coffee mugs, toilet paper, and copy for novelty gifts including the box copy for the Jesse Ventura dolls.

Etcetera

You’re on Beach Instagram Captions page.

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73 Love Text Messages

February 9, 2019 By The Poet

These love text messages help you express your love to the romantic interest in your life. Texting has become such a popular form of communication. The key with texting is to make your point quickly and effectively. The following list of expressions, some with hashtags to add more pop, do just that.

Love Text Messages To Spice Up Your Romance

1.) When we spend the day together, I never want it to end. #missingyou

2.) Love is funny, not funny haha, but you just can’t stop smiling. #haha

3.) A flower is not enough to express how much I adore you. Even a full bouquet pales in comparison to you.

4.) Without you, my heart feels as empty as a desert. With you, I feel as full as a beautiful garden #inawe

5.) I am happiest when I am with you and saddest when we can’t be together.

6.) For some reason, I think the moon shines brighter when you are around. #brilliant

7.) There must be a reason that we met, because fate certainly couldn’t be this wonderful. #itsfate

8.) The summer wind speaks your name to me while the winter wind makes me want to keep you warm. #windy

9.) Happy is together. Together is happy. Yes, it really is that simple. #togetherness

10.) I am very moved by our love, it fills my days with pleasant thoughts and fills my nights with sweet dreams. #sweetdreams

11.) I can feel you when you’re next to me and it feels good. #thankyou

12.) Your smile shines like the sun, your laugh lights up a room, and your eyes burn as bright as a thousand fires.

13.) When I first knew how I felt about you, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, and my whole world was turned upside down. #lovechaos

14.) It’s easy to want to meet that special someone. It is hard to find that special someone, but finding you was just impossible. #yourarespecial

15.) I am nothing without you. Without you, I cease to exist, and my place in this world is meaningless. #youcompleteme

love text messages image

For Him

16.) I finally know love because I know you. #allmylove

17.) I wanted to send you a message that shows exactly how much you mean to me. #youaremyworld

18.) You can paint any day with all the colors of the rainbow.

19.) There aren’t enough words in the entire dictionary to express my feelings for you. #lovevocabulary

20.) You are my rock and you are the strength on which our relationship is built. #thankyou

21.) If I didn’t know I had you behind me every step of the way, I don’t know what I would do.

22.) You have taught me many important things not the least of which is how to love.

23.) I have heard it said that when you’re in a relationship you can’t see straight, but when I’m with you, everything is picture perfect. #Icanseeclearlynow

24.) The phrase sweetheart has always been one of my favorites and no one has a heart as sweet as yours.

25.) If I could, I would pull down the moon and shine it on you so everyone can see how beautiful you are. #stunning

26.) You are kind, you are beautiful, and you are mine. #Iloveyou

27.) Whatever we have together, you are the key. #lockitaway

28.) When I hold you in my arms, all of my cares disappear and I am filled with your warmth.

29.) How is it possible that you can take my breath away, leave me speechless, and make my heart flutter all with just the touch of your hand?

30.) Relationships are built on memories and every one of our memories are etched in my heart. #thinkingofyou

sms romantic message image

Love Text Messages For Her

31.) Our love is my greatest possession.

32.) When I think back to the day that we met, the only thing I can remember is you. #onlyyou

33.) If I could write a song just about us, it would begin softly and slowly, build to a beautiful crescendo, and last forever. #youaremymusic

34.) Romance is the heart of any relationship and love is the soul.

35.) When we embrace we melt together.

36.) As long as you are the one I end up with, I will be okay. #youaretheone

37.) Sitting next to you beside a roaring fire in the still of the night, it doesn’t get any better. #youarethebest

38.) Every time I look at you, I see something new and beautiful. #Ican’tbeliveyouaremine

39.) If I dug up a treasure chest filled with gold, jewels, and priceless objects, it would still be nothing compared to you.

40.) Forever is just a word until you realize it perfectly describes how long I want to be with you. #togetherforever

41.) Spending the rest of my life with you would be an honor, a privilege, and a pleasure.

42.) Sometimes I think you are my angel sent from heaven, but then I think no you’re the real thing. #youarestillmy angel

43.) No matter how much time we have to spend together, it is not enough.

44.) You are my light in an otherwise dark, dull, world. #yourlightshines

45.) I could search for one hundred years and never find another one like you.

Click on visual above for more texting message ideas for your wife.

Love Messages

46.) Some compare being in a relationship to being under a spell. If that is true, I’ll stay under your spell anytime. #youputaspellonme

47.) You clearly have a piece of my heart and it is a big one.

48.) You are a great blessing, and what’s better is, you are my blessing.

49.) When I think of you, I get a smile that is so big, people wonder what I am smiling about. #cantstopsmiling

50.) Sometimes I wish I was the rain, so I could fall on you with small, wet kisses. #smooch

51.) When we talk, you’re all I can hear. Falling in love with you was easy as Sunday morning.

52.) You will never be alone because I will always be right by your side.

53.) I would risk my life just to be with you for one more minute. #youareworththerisk

54.) I am devoted to only you. #youaremyeverything

55.) If I ever lost you, I would be lost. With each passing day of our relationship, I’m as crazy for you as the day I met you.

56.) When I search for words to tell how I feel about my true love, it is hard because there just aren’t enough.

57.) You look as good today as the first time I saw you and I’m sure you will look even better tomorrow. #Ionlyhaveeyesforyou

58.) A golden ring is the perfect symbol of our love, it shines beautifully, fits snuggly, and completes our circle. #theringisthething

59.) Little did we know when we first met that it would change our lives forever. #changedforever

60.) Let’s build a complete life together.

When I kiss you text message

SMS Messages For Romantic Love

61.) Before I knew you, I could never find happiness, but now I am happy enough for both of us. #happyfortwo

62.) The things you do for me are wonderful, I only hope I can return them by half.

63.) When you find someone who is your soul mate you can’t let them go. #youaremysoulmate

64.) Unbelievably, you just made perfect even better. #youareperfect

65.) When you turn around, I will always be there. #Iwillbethere

66.) The first time I saw you I couldn’t take my eyes off you and it is still true.

67.) There isn’t one thing in our relationship that I would change, it’s perfect just the way it is.

68.) When I kiss you, the rest of the world goes away. #justthe2ofus

69.) Years ago I gave you my heart and I can’t believe you took it.

70.) If I could tell you one secret, it would be that my love will last forever.

71.) Everyday I am with you is full of magical surprises. #youaremagic

72.) They say the longer a couple has been together the more alike they become. We must be identical. #twoofakind

73.)When I look in a mirror and see that I’m smiling, I must be thinking of you. #maninthemirror

the first time I saw you sms message image

How to Use a Sweet Love Text Message

Ok, there’s the list.

A couple tips. First, if you find some words that resonate with you, express the feelings in a text exactly as is. Or, perhaps you’ll want to personalize your love text message by combining a phrase with words of your own. Always a good idea! If you can’t fall asleep thinking about someone or if they’ve taken over your life completely, let them know. A good night text or good morning love text can be very special to the recipient.

The common thread of these love text messages is that they should make the receiver feel great about your relationship with them. Choose your times to send these wisely, but don’t be stingy. If your sweetheart is going through a rough time, a well written text message can lift their spirits. Be sincere and be yourself.

— Tim Moodie

Tim Moodie is a Copywriter and Creative Director. He spent many years writing funny greeting cards, coffee mugs, and toilet paper for Recycled Paper Products.

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77 Short Love Quotes For Incurable Romantics

February 7, 2019 By The Poet

After reading through hundreds and hundreds short love quotes, love sayings, love songs and romantic poems, we’ve never felt better prepared. We’re ready for expressing our affection on Valentine’s Day, Birthdays or Anniversaries.

And, better yet, we pulled the best of the best into the list below, including a top ten list. Enjoy.

77 Short Love Quotes For Incurable Romantics

Top Ten Short Love Quotes

1.) The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.

In this Audrey Hepburn quote, the actress captures the warmth and togetherness of true love. With an economical use of words, she communicates how important relationships are during our time on earth.

2.) I wish I’d done everything on earth with you.

In The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald writes that when there’s deep affection shared, partners want to spend every waking moment with their dearest. It’s a tale as old as time.

3.) Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

Robert Frost’s short love saying says a lot in just a few words. It’s not only about being in love, it’s also wanting to be loved by the one you want. It’s almost like one those short love poems, but in this case, it’s only one line.

4.) Grow old along with me; the best is yet to be.

One of Robert Browning’s inspirational love quotes that seem to be a favorite at weddings everywhere you go. It’s easy to see why. The words are a promise from one lover to another. For however good things are now, it will get even better.

5.) Marry someone who laughs at the same things you do.

J.D. Salinger, of Catcher in the Rye fame, gets quickly to the point with these words of love. A shared viewpoint is so important for couples. Seeing things the same way, shared principles and yes, laughing at the same things, makes a relationship go smoothly.

6.) A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.

In one of the better, cute love quotes, Ingrid Bergman describes the magic of a kiss. It’s hard to imagine anyone ever improving on this definition.

7.) He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle.

Who knew that Ring Lardner, perhaps best known as a boxing writer, could come up with one of the great, funny love quotes? More references to waffles when talking romance are always welcome.

8.) I know I am in love with you because my reality is finally better than my dreams.

And here’s Dr. Seuss composing like it’s coming from romantic love letters. When you’re wild about your crush, it’s like you’re walking on air. You can’t wait to see your sweetheart every moment of the day.

9.) Love is a game that two can play and both win.

Eva Gabor, who played a lead role in the TV show Green Acres (“New York is where I’d rather be…), addresses the win-win opportunity of a strong relationship.

10.) I love you right up to the moon — and back.

In the classic children’s book Guess How Much I Love You, author Sam McBratney describes a young hare who is being tucked in by his father. Every time the hare expresses how great his love is for his father, the dad one ups him. Finally, the young hare thinks he’s got it by telling his dad he loves him to the moon. But, as the young hare falls asleep, his father is heard whispering, “I love you right up to the moon – and back.” It’s become one of those sweet love quotes that used on many birthday cards and Facebook greetings.

Short Love Quotes For Her

11.) I hear you voice in all the world’s noise.
Paul Eluard

12.) Where there is love, there is life.
Mahatma Gandhi

13.) Promise me you’ll always be happy by my side. I promise I’ll sing to you when all the music dies.
Patrick Monahan

14.) Love means never having to say you’re sorry.
Erich Segal from Love Story

15.) If I know what love is, it is because of you.
Hermann Hesse

16.) I want to hear you think, or see your thoughts.
John Adams to Abigail Adams

17.) I would rather spend one lifetime with you, than face all the ages of this world alone.
J.R.R. Tolkien

18.) More than kisses, letters mingle souls.
John Donne

19.) You can’t blame gravity for falling in love.
Albert Einstein

20.) Two hearts can enlighten the whole world.
Sir Kristian Goldmund Aumann

21.) Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by the imagination.
Voltaire

22.) True love stories never have endings.
Richard Bach

23.) Love is the joy of the good, the wonder of the wise, the amazement of the Gods.
Plato

24.) I know by experience that the poets are right: love is eternal.
E.M. Forster

Inspirational

25.) I feel wonderful because I see the love light in your eyes.
Eric Clapton, “Wonderful Tonight”

26.) Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own.
H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

27.) It was love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight.
Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

28.) Life is the flower for which love is the honey.
Victor Hugo

29.) Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

30.) Two hearts in love need no words.
Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

31.) And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for awhile, cause you’re amazing, just the way you are.
Bruno Mars, Just the Way You Are song

32.) Love is when he gives you a piece of your soul, that you never knew was missing.
Torquato Tasso

33.) They gave each other a smile with a future in it.
Ring Lardner

34.) Stolen kisses are always sweetest.
Leigh Hunt

Check out Sweet Love Text Messages

Sweet Love Quotations

35.) Good night, good night! parting is such sweet sorrow, That I shall say good night till it be morrow.
William Shakespeare from Romeo and Juliet

36.) The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved.
Victor Hugo

37.) Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.
Mother Teresa

38.) All your life, you will be faced with a choice. You can choose love or hate…I choose love.
Johnny Cash

39.) Heaven is a place on earth with you.
Lana Del Rey, Video Games song

40.) Important encounters are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other.
Paulo Coelho

41.) Beauty and Love are as body and soul. Beauty is the mine. Love is the diamond.
Rumi

42.) So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.
Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

43.) When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.
Jimi Hendrix

Short Love Quotes For Him

44.) Love is friendship that has caught fire.
Ann Landers

45.) I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed & that necessary.
Margaret Atwood

46.) When I fall in love, it will be forever.
Jane Austen

47.) For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
Judy Garland

48.) Your words are my food, your breath is my wine. You are everything to me.
Sarah Bernhardt

49.) Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality.
Emily Dickinson

50.) In case you ever foolishly forget; I’m never not thinking of you.
Virginia Woolf, Selected Diaries

51.) I saw that you were perfect, and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect and I loved you even more.
Angelita Lim

Love Sayings

52.) We must be our own before we can be another’s.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

53.) You’re my downfall, you’re my muse My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues.
Johnny Legend

54.) Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.
Thomas Fuller

55.) If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving be me.
W.H. Auden

56.) I’m on your magical mystery ride, And I’m so dizzy, don’t know what hit me, but I’ll be alright.
Johnny Legend

57.) Love is like the wind you can’t see it but you can feel it.
Nicholas Sparks

58.) We are most alive when we’re in love.
John Updike

59.) To be loved, be lovable.
Ovid

60.) And we loved with a love that was more than love…
Edgar Allan Poe, Annabel Lee

61.) Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs.
William Shakespeare

62.) You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
Sam Keen

63.) Come live with me, and be my love, and we will some new pleasures prove.
John Donne from The Bait

Cute Love Quotes

64.) There is only one happiness in life – to love and to be loved.
George Sand

65.) Music is Love in search of a word.
Sidney Lanier

66.) Some people are worth melting for.
Olaf from Frozen

67.) It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

68.) Remember, we’re madly in love, so it’s alright to kiss me anytime you feel like it.
The Hunger Games

69.) You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.
Rhett Butler

70.) I swear I couldn’t love you more than I do right now, and yet I know I will tomorrow.
Leo Christopher

71.) I wish I could turn back the clock. I’d find you sooner and love you longer.
Unknown

72.) The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate. It is focused attention.
Richard Warren

Romantic

73.) Each time you happen to me all over again
Edith Wharton, The Age of Innocence

74.) And remember, as it was written, to love another person is to see the face of God.
Les Miserables

75.) One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life. That word is love.
Sophocles

76.) The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.
Helen Keller

77.) I kiss your vision as it rises before my mind.
Winston Churchill, in a letter to Clementine Churchill

–Mike O’Halloran

In addition to being a curator of quotes, Mike is an author, inventor, and entrepreneur. He worked as president of Magnetic Poetry, creators of the ubiquitous refrigerator magnets folks use to create verse in their kitchens.

I Love You Messages, Sayings, Phrases

February 4, 2019 By The Poet

Saying “I love you” in a romantic sense can be a difficult thing to do. You’re exposing yourself. The response may not be positive. There’s a risk. The good news: there are many ways to express your feelings to the one that you love. Sometimes, injecting a little humor helps. And, on this page, we’ve come to your assistance with some ideas.

40 Funny Ways to say “I Love You”

While “there must be 50 ways to leave your lover”; we only came up with 40 funny ways to say, “I love you.” Lucky for you, we made every one count. Hope you enjoy. And, don’t be shy, try a few on for size.

1.) Read between the swines: “I love you.”

It’s always better to have a well-crafted pun that is really beautifully romantic, well-structured prose, right? Just don’t hog all of the good lines for yourself. If pigs don’t work for you, try placing lines of perennials and direct your lover to: “read between the pines.”

2.) You are the crayons to my coloring book.

An interesting I Love You phrase that can be read in many ways on many different levels. For us, it symbolizes the completeness that one person can bring to another. You know, the whole “you complete me” thing.

3.) I’ve fallen for you…and I can’t get up.

This might work best for the senior set, who will remember the old LifeCall medical alarm commercial. “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” was the reoccurring theme. Plus, they’ll understand the nuances of the older you get, “the thrill of the hunt” becomes “the joy of survival.”

4.) I just wanna be your teddy bear. Well, not a soft, squishy teddy bear, but more of a rock hard, six-pack teddy bear.

You get it. When Elvis sings, people listen.

5.) When I look at you, I feel a warmth in my heart. At least I think it’s warmth, I did have a burrito for lunch.

They say, “the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart,”and it’s true. Why? Well, because food is the second thing men are most frequently thinking about.

6.) If I wrote the book of love, you would be my dedication.

Okay, so it’s not very funny, but it is the type of cute I love you saying that goes a long way to showing you care. Sometimes it pays to play the romance card instead of the humor one. Trust me.

7.) Let’s get it on! No really, stop laughing, let’s get it on!

When there’s a fire in the furnace, the feelings intensify. Proceed with caution with this one. Best used in long-term relationships.

8.) Kiss me, I’m crazy about you! Okay, well maybe I’m just crazy.

You have to admit it, we all know someone like this. The guy who occasionally goes out in his underwear to get his mail.

9.) Elizabeth Barrett Browning said, “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.” Okay, let’s see, one, two, three…er, uh three!

Well, three is better than two.

10.) Your touch makes me quiver,
Your look makes me shiver.
I hope you’re a giver,
Cause I think I can deliver!

Hmmm…a little but like a limerick.

11.) I’d like you to guest star on my Love Boat.

Some of you are probably too young to remember the TV series “The Love Boat.” It was the stories of passengers that found love on the high seas, or at the very least: high jinx!

12.) My feelings for you are a miracle. Not like walking on water, but pretty darn close.

Miracles are a touchy subject, but anybody who can make you feel like a miracle is someone very special.

13.) Has anyone ever told you that you’re hot?
No really, I think you might be coming down with something.
But I love you anyway.
Now seriously, back away.

This could easily be a true story.

14.) Sometimes I think you’re just a dream.
But then I wake up and realize you’re my special nightmare.

Love is strange and sometimes it can seem like you’re in the Twilight Zone, but somehow reality steps in, and you instinctively discover your true soulmate.

15.) I see stars when I look in your eyes.
Or maybe it’s a concussion, hmmm…could be love too.

Nothing can stir up the pangs of love like a good blow to the head.

16.) If I could only have one guest for dinner, it would be you.
Not as the main dish, as a companion of course.

That got awkward really quickly.

17.) I have felt the sting of cupid’s arrow and the pain I feel for you.

Sometimes, love hurts. Yeah, yeah.

18.) I got my glasses checked, and now I believe in love at first sight.
I didn’t recognize you before.

Funny how love can bring a clear picture of the things we really need.

19.) When you frown, my mood is down.
And when you smile, I fly a mile.
When you laugh, my worries are cut in half.
But when you sing, well frankly you’re no Bing.

Reality bites. And, there are just so few of us great singers on this planet.

20.) You are like a cup of tea by the fire.
Warm, and a little bit hot, sparkling too.

For some reason, romance and love always seems to be associated with a nice, bright fire. Perhaps passion is love’s fire log.

21.) I try to think of you all the time.
And when I’m not thinking of you,
I think of ways I could be thinking of you.
And when I’m not thinking of the ways I could be thinking of you,
I get confused and have to start over.

I have a headache.

22.) I don’t know how you do what you do,
but I do know that what you do,
makes me want to do it too.

Imitation is the highest form of flattery.

23.) A kiss is worth a thousand words.
Here’s my new book…smooch, smooch, smooch!

If only this were true, writing would be so much easier.

24.) I will love you more tomorrow, then I love you today.
And I love you more yesterday, than I did today.
Some people call me “The Love Procrastinator.”

What can I say?

25.) They say you are the sun, the moon, and the stars.
For me, you are the dishes, the laundry, and the stove.
No really, I mean it.

So heartfelt, I have a tear in my eye. And soon, I’ll be sleeping on the couch.

26.) Love is in the air.
Ok, it’s me…sorry.

I had beans for dinner.

It is a fact of life that everyone passes gas at some point. Often, even a well-timed cough can’t cover it up.

27. In my heart is a beautiful feeling for you.
Either that, or I have atrial fibrillation.

“A fib” is a big catch phrase on TV commercials for blood thinners these days.

28.) You pull at my heart strings,
And play my brain like a violin.

Music and romance go hand in hand.

29.) I may have had one too many cocktails.
But in my eyes, you’re a vision!
A vision of what I’m not quite sure.
But a vision none the less.

A little hair of the dog can often cloud true love and sometime make it seem more passionate then it really is.

30.) Be mine with all your heart and soul.
Some nice roses wouldn’t hurt either.

Emotions are all well and good, but some tangible gifts are refreshing.

31.) Let’s be love birds…
And poop on a car.

Okay, maybe I crossed a line here, but you have to admit it is kind of funny.

32.) Dove, glove, above, shove, whereof…hmmm.
A poet struggling for a rhyme for love.
But, you’re worth the struggle. I love you.

Sometimes, writing is just hard.

33.) If I were a flower, I would bloom in your sunshine.
If I were a weed, I would wither in your shadow.

Deep, not really funny, just deep.

34.) I’m so glad I found you…
I was looking for my keys.

For some reason, the phrase “looking for love in all the wrong places” comes to mind.

35.) Love is like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you are going to get,
But there’s always a surprise.

Aw, isn’t that cute? Apologies to Mrs. Gump.

36.) Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote…
“Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.”
No!

Right? No, just no.

37.) There must be a reason I fell in love with you.
For the life of me, I just can’t think of it right now.

How quickly we forget.

38.) Love is everything.
Everything is love.

I don’t know, I was just feeling kind of Zen in the moment.

39.) I love you because you’re perfect.
And believe me, I should know.

Oh yeah, it takes one to know one.

40.) When all else fails, to win a heart, do the dishes!

From the “actions-speak-louder-than-words-camp,” fall back on a proven winner.

—————

There you have it. Try a different saying every day of the week for fun. And, save your best for Valentine’s Day, birthdays, and anniversaries.

–Tim Moodie

Tim Moodie is a Copywriter and Creative Director. He spent many years writing funny greeting cards, coffee mugs, and toilet paper for Recycled Paper Products. In addition, he created the box copy for novelty gifts including the Jesse Ventura Action Figures.

57 Crush Quotes, Sayings, Images

January 11, 2019 By The Poet

A read through these crush quotes might stir some memories, encourage some empathy, or reflect some thoughts that you can totally relate to.

Maybe there’s a person in your life that you can’t stop thinking about? You know, the person who gives you the butterflies every time you see ’em. The person that always makes you smile. You know: your crush.

57 Crush Quotes: The Definitive List When You’re Madly In Love

Most everyone knows the different feelings associated with having a crush on someone. You feel like you’re madly in love, but sometimes, the other person might not be there yet. Other times it might be considered an infatuation or a short term obsession.

Frequently, the passion is just as strong as long-term relationship. The following quotes on having a crush will bring some of your feelings to life. And some these you might want to share with the one you love.

7 billion smiles and yours is my favorite.

Some people are so much sunshine to the square inch.
Walt Whitman
You have bewitched my body and soul.
Jane Austen

All I have is hope, and you are giving me so much to hope for.

I want you to want me.
Cheap Trick (Isn’t this the essence of all crush quotes?)
I’m afraid to lose you and you’re not even mine.
Drake

You are my favorite daydream.

You are someone worth waiting for.
Everything is going to be alright. I think I just met my wife.
John Legend

Being in love with you makes every day an interesting one.

I balled my hands into fists and forced myself to stop thinking about him. It didn’t work.
Teodora Kostova
If I know what love is, it is because of you.
Herman Hesse

I saw you for like 5 seconds and it made my day.

It’s nice to have a crush on someone. It feels like you’re alive, you know?
Scarlett Johansson
All I want is for you to feel the same way about me that I feel about you.

I think about you a little more than I should.

If you let me love you, I’m sure to love you all the way.
Frank Sinatra
You had me at “Hello.”
Dorothy Boyd from the movie Jerry Maguire

Since you’ve been around I smile a lot more than I used to.

It’s like I’m thirteen again and he’s my crush. All I’m aware of in this entire roomful of people is him. Where he is, what he’s doing, who he’s talking to.
Sophie Kinsella
All I really want is to hold you tight, treat you right, [and] be with you day and night.
Britney Spears

He talks about you like you placed the stars in the sky.

I’m not going to make a big deal about a few tummy flutters because…dead people, old people, even furniture would get butterflies if they met this guy.
Anne Eliot
Oh please say to me you’ll let me be your man; And please say to me, you’ll let me hold your hand.
The Beatles

Life without you is like a broken pencil — pointless!

Do you know what it’s like to like someone so much you can’t stand it and know that they’ll never feel the same way?
Jenny Han
Some crushes just never went away. They built, instead, into something permanent, obsessive and all consuming.
Maya Banks (Maybe a secret crush?)

Sometimes I just can’t ignore the way I feel when I see you smile.

If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life.
Oscar Wilde
You know why they call it a crush because that’s how you feel when they don’t feel the same way in return.
(Of the sad crush quotes genre, you can almost feel the pain of the author.)

Is your name, “WIFI”? Because, I’m feeling the connection.

If you could see that I’m the one that understands you, been here all along so why can’t you see you belong with me.
Taylor Swift
I’m so into you.
Ariana Grande

Talking to someone you have a crush on is as scary as fighting a super-villain.

Jon Watts

Every word you’ve ever said, is written somewhere in my mind.
Crystal Woods
She’s a walkin’, talkin’ reason to live.
Bruce Springsteen

When they say to make a wish, you are the first thing that I think about.

I wish that I could stop thinking about you, but it is impossible to get you out of my mind lately.
Every time we touch I get this feeling.
Cascada

Love is when you meet someone who tells you something new about yourself.

Andre Breton’s take, another of the quotes about your crush, reflects how being in love is revealing for both parties.

Every text session my crush introduce me with a new quality in her crush, and trust me it’s crushing my emotions!
Akansh Malik
Cause I’m trying and trying to walk away, but I know this crush ain’t goin’ away.
David Archuleta (One of those quotes about having a crush that everyone can relate to)

We are all fools in love.

Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice is the source of this crush quote that shows the universality of falling in love.

And it’s a little different with every guy, so it’s kind of hard to generalize—but if I had to describe the feeling of a crush, I’d say this: you just finished running a mile, and you have to throw up, and you’re starving, but no food seems appealing, and your brain becomes fog, and you also have to pee. It’s this close to intolerable. But I like it.
Becky Albertalli
A single text from you can change my mood in a second.

Just thinking about you brings a smile to face, a twinkle to my eye, and a skipped beat to my heart.

One of those cute crush quotes for him was written by Ash Sweeney. It reflects the fact that live just seems to be a little better when there’s someone in your life that you think the world of.

It’s hard to believe that I think about you nearly every second of the day, but I do.
Thank you for reminding me of what butterflies feel like.

In a crowded room, my eyes always search for you.

You + me = Awesome!
When I met you, I found me.
When you’re in the room, my heart beats faster than it should.

You have bewitched my body and soul.

Jane Austen

You’re the first and last thought for me everyday.
You are the best part of my day.

You’re cooler than a secret handshake.

Do you realize how beautiful you are?
I’ll never finish falling in love with you.

–Mike O’Halloran

—————

You’re on our 57 Crush Quotes page.

More On Being in Love

1 – Inspirational Love Quotes

2 – Romance Quotations

3 – Sayings for Long Distance Relationships

4 – Quotations about Cute Couples

5 – Best Love Quotations

6 – 77 Short Love Quotes

7 – Text Wife Love Messages

Christmas Sayings, Greetings, Wishes

December 6, 2018 By The Poet

The spirit of all Christmas sayings, greetings, and wishes is to spread the message of love, peace, happiness, and prosperity. Every word you share with your loved ones should be above helping them realize the importance of the season. It is more than about the presents you gift to everyone. It should be more about your love, care, and thoughts for others.

Christmas sayings, wishes, greetings, and quotes should help you share all such great things with your near and dear ones.

Christmas Greetings and Sayings

Your kind soul is a gift no one can ever match. Prosperity and an abundance of love is my wish for you and your family this Christmas.
Have a warm and cozy holiday. Wishing you all the special blessings of the New Year.
Love, joy and peace are the ingredients for a wonderful Christmas. We hope you find them all festive season.
God’s greatest present is His presence, Ponder on this as you celebrate Christmas.

Merry Christmas Sayings

Christmas now surrounds us,
Happiness is everywhere
Our hands are busy with many tasks
As carols fill the air.
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way, May you be blessed this season with peace and love all day! And, have a Happy New Year!
This festive season is so much more than Christmas parties and gift giving. May your holidays be filled with the true miracles and meaning of this beautiful time.
I don’t think Christmas is necessarily about things.
It’s about being good to one another,
it’s about the the spirit of the season, and it’s about kindness.
Sure, Christmas is for kids, but luckily the holiday spirit makes children of us all.

Dickens’ Christmas Quote Meme

Short Christmas Messages

‘Tis the Season.
A’Caroling will go.
Have a snowy blowy Xmas.
It’s a time for giving.
Xmas glows with love.
A cause for celebration.
Dear Santa, define “nice.”
Festive Trimmings All Merry and Bright.
I believe.
Joys of the Season.
The best time of the year.
Unwrap the season.
I deer-ly love the season. (Check out Santa’s reindeer feeding.)

Holiday Wishes

What Xmas means to me: The spirit of giving without a thought of getting – it is happiness because we see joy in people.
The Magic of the season never ends and its greatest of gifts are family and friends.
Bells are ringing and everyone is singing, It’s Christmas!
The Gift of Xmas is a precious reminder that we are loved!
The real spirit of the season is to cherish peace and goodwill and to be plenteous in mercy.
Somehow, not only for Xmas but all year through, The joy you give to others, is the joy that comes back to you.
Christmas is the time of the year to give gifts to loved ones and appreciate their efforts of endless caring.

Religious Christmas Meme

Christmas Card Sayings

May you feel all the love and joy I have for you throughout this festive season and all year round. Having you as my friend brings me great joy.
May Christmas warm your heart the whole year long!

Wishing you a season touched with wonder and filled with love.

Have an ideal Xmas; an occasion that is celebrated as a reflection of your values, desires, affections, traditions.
Good tidings to you and happy Xmas for today and all the Christmases to come.
Wishing you a season of joy, A season of blessings for evermore, A season to be thankful, For all the glad tidings and good cheer!
The season of gladness and joy rings out my wish for you is happiness throughout.
Let the magic of Xmas bring you back to when you were a child, and let that innocence be a balm to your worries.
The gift of love, the gift of peace, the gift of happiness… May all these be yours.

Warmest Wishes

Here’s wishing you a day full of joy and laughter. Savor the wonderful delights for months to come.
Upon this day my wish for you is bountiful splendor in all you do.
Wishing you health and happiness this holiday season and in the year to come!
The holiday cards we receive each year remind us of the importance of friends and family not only at this special time of year but for the whole year.
Sending the warmest season wishes to you and your family. May God shower his choicest blessings on you and your family this Christmas!
During this season of faith and family, may the real meaning of the season shine so bright. There is nothing more I wish for you, that God may bless all that you do.

Greetings

During this festive season filled with excitement, delicious cookies, and favorite dishes, I wish you fond memories of family and friends that will give all of your wishes.
Love and joy came down on earth on Christmas Day to make you cheerful and happy. Be merry; not just on this wonderful day but all through the year.
May the peace that Jesus brings fill your heart and home this Christmas.
Let’s welcome the fresh year,
And cherish each moment it beholds,
Let’s celebrate this blissful New Year,
Merry Christmas.

Season’s Sentiments

Our prayers include a special Christmas blessing for you. May God watch over you and your family in the coming year. Wishes and good cheer from all of my family to you and yours.
The holidays are the time of giving, sharing, loving and forgiving. May the spirit of the season fill your heart with warmth and love.
It is with warmth, gratitude and joy that you have a safe, happy and joy filled day.
The snow is gently falling, white as a dove; touching the heart. Merry Christmas with love.
May you be surrounded by all the things that bring Christmas cheer May it bring all things that you hold dear.
May this Christmas end the present year on a cheerful note and make way for a fresh and bright New Year. Here’s wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
These gifts cannot be purchased in a store, nor can you buy them with money. The gifts of peace, joy and lasting happiness are the gifts I pray for you this season.

Happy Holidays

Kindly accept my sincere wishes,
Filled with hope and prosperity!
Happy Holidays!
Wishing you unlimited joy and infinite fun! May this holiday revive your spirit so you can return full of energy and vitality.
May your home and heart glow with the magic of the holiday.
Holidays are finally here. I would like to say enjoy and relax but don’t forget to take care of yourself.
Now the Holiday is here! I hope you have countless happy moments full of worthy adventures. Cheers!
Wishing you a joyful holiday,
That has a harmonious tone,
You enjoy each and every bit of it,
And end it on the same note!!
Happy Holidays!

Happy Christmas Sayings!

Let the spirit of love gently fill our hearts and homes. Sending happy holiday greetings and may you find many reasons for happiness.
Hope you spend a peaceful time,
with your family this holiday season.
Hope you experience the best time ahead,
Enjoy the holidays!
Spending holidays with family is beautiful with a feeling of safety and warmth. May you always stay united and strong with each other this Christmas. Happy Holiday!
As this holiday season begins with the anticipation of receiving love and affection. May your days be filled with overwhelming happiness and fulfillment.
Have a fun filled time ahead,
With your loved ones.
Hope you relish the moments of joy and love,
which would make your holiday even more blissful!
Now that the holiday is here, we wish you indulge yourself and forget about work and worries and make the most out of your time.

Christmas Quotes

There is a Christmas song upon the air, There is a joy innate within the heart; An inner sense of peace, a holy light Illumines life and sets these days apart.
Edna Greene Hines
I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
Charles Dickens
Somehow, not only for Christmas, But all the long year through, the joy that you give to others, is the joy that comes back to you.
John Greenleaf Whittier
Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.
Hamilton Wright Mabie
Best of all, Christmas means a spirit of love, a time when the love of God and the love of our fellow men should prevail over all hatred and bitterness, a time when our thoughts and deeds and the spirit of our lives manifest the presence of God.
George F. McDougall
The holy magic that filled that lonely stable so long ago still fills the air of Christmas today.
Mary Hollingsworth
This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone.
Taylor Caldwell

Yuletide Quotations

As long as we know in our hearts what Christmas ought to be, Christmas is.
Eric Sevareid
Bless us Lord, this Christmas, with quietness of mind; Teach us to be patient and always to be kind.
Helen Steiner Rice
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.
Burton Hillis
From home to home, and heart to heart, from one place to another. The warmth and joy of Christmas, brings us closer to each other.
Emily Matthews
Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
Norman Vincent Peale
When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things—not the great occasions—give off the greatest glow of happiness.
Bob Hope
Christmas is most truly Christmas when we celebrate it by giving the light of love to those who need it most.
Ruth Carter Stapleton

Check out more Xmas Quotations

Christmas Words

When it comes wishing Christmas to your friends and loved ones, you can also use words like ‘Yuletide’ and ‘Noel’.

What does Yuletide mean?

Yuletide refers to the Christmas season and the word ‘yule’ to Christmas. In fact, Yuletide began to be celebrated even before Christianity dawned. It finds its origins from the Old English vocabulary.

What does Noel mean?

The word ‘Noel’ means Christmas in French. It is believed that the word has its origins in the word ‘natalis’ in Latin, which means ‘birth’.

What does Christmastide mean?

Christmastide is used to refer to the beginning of Christmas Day and begins from the Christmas Eve. It refers to the Christmas season.

Funny Christmas Sayings and Wishes

When a big fat man jumps down your chimney and puts you in a sack. It’s just that I told Santa I wanted you for Xmas.
With all the best of food and beer! Holidays are exhausting. Ho Ho!
The only present you can gift Jesus during his birthday is good behavior. You can try to be good today then go back to normal after the holidays.
A furry Merry Christmas and happy Mew Year! May Santa always stop at your house.
A good holiday gift is the landlord forgoing the December rent so that you can find more money to drink and make merry. Have fun and enjoy this merriest of seasons.
I wish you the wonders of the holidays ― that the magic of the season makes all your savings so limited that you wish it’s celebrated daily.
May you forgive your enemies and those that have done you wrong. Basically, I am giving you a heads up to forgive me for all the times I did you wrong and maintain the Christmas spirit throughout.
In this Christmas season, keep all things in the right view. Or let your credit card brings its limit to bear.
I wish you a holiday without relatives, at least you won’t get scary of credit card bills.

You’re on Christmas Sayings.

Christmas Card Messages, Sayings, Ideas

December 4, 2018 By The Poet

Writing Christmas card messages is one of the most cherished moments of the year for some. It is a time when you let your friends and family know how much they matter to you and how much you remember them. While you will be sending dozens of cards, make sure each one has a unique Xmas greeting. Every message should spread joy this holiday season and fill your loved ones’ hearts with love, peace, and happiness.

Writing that perfect Christmas season card can be a challenge, but these greetings make it easier for you to show your love and care.

Best Christmas Messages and Sayings

May you never be too grown up to search the skies on Christmas eve.
Love you to the North Pole and back.
Dear Santa, It’s a long story.
Don’t stop believing.
It’s not what’s under the tree that matters. It’s who’s gathered around it.
May God bless you with a festive, loving and peaceful celebration this holiday season and all throughout the year.
Dear Santa, please define “nice.”
Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

Christmas card messages, sayings, ideas image

I love Christmas a lot, but not as much as I love you. I can’t imagine spending the holidays without you. You are such an important part of my life.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Let us celebrate by spreading goodwill and holiday cheer.
May the melody and spirit of the holidays fill your home with love and peace. I wish you all the best.
May the spirit of Christmas be with you throughout the New Year.
In this loveliest and happiest of seasons, may you find many reasons to celebrate. Have a wonderful season.
Christmas is a good excuse to send cards to all my favorite people. Wishing you a wonderful holiday season!
The bells are ringing everywhere, and Santa’s on his way, there’s peace blanketing the snow-covered land, on this special day.

Wishes for the Season

May the sights and sounds of X-mas work their merry magic in your heart.
A special wish: May you never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Santa is funny – He brings you gifts but the catch is you have to sing a song before you open them.
May the sweet magic of the season conspire to gladden your heart and fill every desire.
May the timeless message of the season fill your heart and home with joy now and throughout the coming year.
Let the spirit of the season warm your home with love, joy and peace. Have a blessed day.
Xmas brings family and friends together; it helps us appreciate the love in our lives we can often take for granted. May the true meaning of the holiday season fill your heart and home with many blessings.
May the Christmas season fill your home with joy, your heart with love and your life with laughter.
Be motivated in everything that you do. Your will is very helpful in reaching your dreams.

Christmas Card Ideas Meme

Inspirational Xmas

Prayer works.
It is very simple to do yet it yields powerful results.
Don’t forget the reason for the season.
Whatever is beautiful, whatever is meaningful, whatever brings happiness, may it be yours this holiday season and throughout the coming year.
May you have the gift of faith, the blessing of hope and the peace of his love at Christmas and always.
May Santa bring you the gifts you want and may you never take your blessings for granted. Be thankful and happy holiday wishes to you.

Funny Christmas Messages

Hope your holiday’s filled with plenty of ho-ho-ho.
Money is scarce, times are hard, but I still managed to get you a card.
Just think how bright Jesus’ birthday cake would be if he had a candle for each year since his birth. Good thing he recently switched to LED candles.
For Xmas I got you pants with an elastic waistline that you can wear through January. You’re welcome.
May your fun be large and bills be small this year. All the best from our house to yours.
I had no idea what to write to a friend in a card, so I figured I’d try writing to you first.
Why you have to worry when Santa is on his way. Just be patient and wait for him to come with amazing gifts and wishes.
If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard.

Snowflakes Meme

Ho-Ho

Christmas is mostly for children. But we adults can enjoy it too, until the credit card bills arrive.
Thinking of you this season. Yule be on my mind.
There’s usually only one person I can remember to buy a birthday card for each year. His name is Jesus.
If you don’t like my present, it’s because you have bad taste. I’ll still wish you the best this season.
Can I please have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
Xmas is a special time to think about peace, love, joy, and weight gain.
When people ask me to prove that Santa is real, I ask them to prove to me that he isn’t.
I’m trying something new this Christmas. I’m going to wrap myself up and sleep under the tree so you’ll finally understand what a gift I am to all of you.
I put so much thought into your gift that it’s now too late to get it. Imagine something great.
Hope your holiday season is bright enough that you need sunglasses.
The best thing about the holidays is getting to catch up on sleep and TV shows. Enjoy.
What’s red and white and round all over? You. After drinking a little bit, eating too much, and rolling around in the snow.
Christmas is a time for remembering family and trying to guess everyone’s sizes. Have a wonderful holiday season.
My favorite part of the holiday season is blaming my long-term weight gain on the holiday season.

Holiday Weight Gain Meme

Merry & Bright

Have yourself a merry little Christmas; let your heart be light.
This Xmas, my wishes for you are endless; I wish that you have the best health, find love, delightful days, blissful year, bright future, energetic hours and everything that comes with good tidings.
Holy Christmas Night. On this holy night may your heart be illuminated with love, joy and peace. We wish you a wonderful season.
The holidays are a time to open our hearts to God and his gifts. Just like the rest of the year.
May success be with you and everything you do. Happy Holidays!
My special wishes to you and to all those who are close to you. May you have a Christmas that is more special than it has ever been. May Baby Jesus bless you abundantly.

Most Wonderful Time of the Year – Christmas Card Messages

I hope you awake on Christmas morning feeling like a child again. Merry Xmas and all the best in the New Year.
We’re sending our very best wishes and we’re adding this special thought too…an extra Merry Xmas we bring all of you.
May the spirit of Xmas bring you and your family hope, happiness and love.
As you celebrate the miracle of this special season, may your heart be filled with joy and peace. May these holiday blessings linger in your home and stay with you throughout the year.
Wishing you give and receive much love, joy, and peace this season.
May you have the gift of Faith, the blessing of Hope, and the peace of His Love at Christmas and always.
Good tidings to you and your family.
Xmas can be many things or it may be a few, but all I wish on this holiday is the best for you.

Holiday Quotes

The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature.
Andy Rooney
The approach of the glad Christmas tide always fills the heart with joy and hope, and quickens into sweet activity a thousand loving thoughts for others.
Helen Keller
Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly Merry Christmas.
Peg Bracken
Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
Norman Vincent Peale
Peace on earth will come to stay, when we live Christmas every day.
Helen Steiner Rice

Quotes for the Season

Christmas is the day that holds all time together.
Alexander Smith
I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
Charles Dickens
Christmas is a stocking stuffed with sugary goodness.
Mo Rocca
May God’s mercy and kindness surround you this Christmas and carry you into a blessed new year.
Charles Stanely
Let us remember that the Christmas heart is a giving heart, a wide open heart that thinks of others first.
George Mathew Adams
In this season of hope, let’s help those who need it most – the homeless, the hungry, the sick and shut in.
President Barack Obama
Let us not forget that the first Christmas was a homeless one. A humble man and woman had gone up from Galilee out of the City of Nazareth to Bethlehem.
Harry S. Truman
A Christmas candle is a lovely thing; It makes no noise at all, But softly gives itself away; While quite unselfish, it grows small.
Eva K. Logue

Happy Holidays Greetings

This Xmas, I want you to sing, laugh, reminisce, cry, if you have to, then sing some more and do it all around a full table of food, family and friends. Happy Holidays.
Chilling air, warm cup of coffee, cozy blanket and cuddles full of love. The best time of the year is here, Happy Holidays my dear.
The real joy of the holiday season is the opportunity to say thank you and wish you the very best. Have a fun filled Holiday.
May the good cheer last throughout the year. Wishing you a wonderful holiday season.
My favorite part about the holiday season are all of our Christmas memories together. I’m so thankful to have such loving people in my life. Here’s to many more Christmas memories and too many cookies.
May you have the best holidays ever and may you get to spend a lot of time with the ones you love. Happy holidays
Holiday Wishes. This season, may you be blessed with laughter, peace, and love.
May you get to spend the most fun and frolic time with the ones you care this holiday season. Happy holidays!
Happy Holidays. Wishing you every happiness that comes with this holiday season and throughout the coming years.

Season’s Greetings

You’re someone who helps me remember the true reason for the season, and I’m so grateful for you.
The most magical time of the year is here; happy holidays my dear.
Cheers to a cold season as you cozy up in the comfort of your warm home. Happy holidays.
What can be better than opening presents, eating food and singing Christmas music? Doing all those things with family like you.
May God’s blessing shine down upon you and your family this holiday season. Sending love from our family to yours.
We hope this season ends on a joyful note and continues into a safe and prosperous New Year for you and your family.
Winter holidays are the best time to meet and greet the loved one. Hope you have a memorable holiday this year.
Love, joy and peace are the ingredients for a wonderful holiday. We hope you find them all this festive season.
Jingle bells, snowflakes, twinkling light and chilly air… all have come to wish you a very happy holidays

For Friends

Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone else.
Charles Schulz
With sincere appreciation for your friendship and goodwill, we wish you all the joys of this holiday season.
Feeling grateful this season for the awesome friend I have in you.
You light up my life like a X-mas tree. I am grateful to be your friend.
The true meaning of the season is remembering special people like you.
Your friendship and your love is the best Xtmas gift that I’ve gotten.
Friends like you are as magical as the holiday spirit and as rare as Santa sightings.
Holidays are so much more special when they are celebrated with important friends like you.
Even more than X-mas decorations, friends are what really light up my life. You brighten my day and many other days of the year as well.

Joy, Hope and Peace

Merry Xmas to the best friend ever. Santa knew just what I wanted when he brought you into my life.
Friend. I hope your Christmas is full of love and eggnog and laughter and cookies.
The beauty of the Christmas season is that it can remind us of all the beauty in life that we take for granted: our family, our friends, and our faith.
It is friends like you that make this season so special and magical.
This year I have been so grateful for your friendship — thank you for being such a wonderful part of my life.
I hope your holiday season is filled with laughter, silliness, and many fond memories. Looking forward to spending another year in friendship with you.
As the year ends, I’m reminded of how much your friendship has meant to me this past year. Thank you so much for being a great friend.
I am so thankful for having you as such a special and unique friend — I hope your holiday season is just as awesome as you are.

Tip: In addition to using these Christmas card messages for notes, consider some for photo caption on Instagram and Facebook.

Short Christmas Card Messages

Wishing you all the best that a holiday could offer.
Season’s Greetings from the family. Hope you all end the year on a bright note.
May our bonds become stronger in the new season and may we walk the path of prosperity.
May your fire be warm and your home be bright.
Xmas is the time to spread joy and glee. I do it by extending my wishes to you.
Let happiness surround you this season. May the festival bring you lots of joy.
Decorate your porch for Santa is coming to your home to wish you the best this season.
May your Xmas season be filled with joy and light.

Good Cheer – Christmas Card Messages

May Santa bring you the gifts you want and may you never take your blessings for granted. Be thankful this season. Happy holiday wishes to you.

I’d send you peace, love, and joy in an envelope if I could.

May your home be always filled with laughter and happiness.
Wishing you a joyous holiday season from the depth of my heart. May the new season bring good fortune for you.
Deck the halls with boughs of holly surround yourself with those who are jolly and have a wonderful new year.
Bid adieu to all your worries because it’s time to rejoice.
May your fire be warm. Your chocolate be hot.
I wish you and your family all the best. Enjoy like there is no tomorrow.
The holiday season is here. It is time to decorate the tree and indulge in festivities.
May the magic of the holiday season stay with you all year long.
Before the church bells ring, before the holy star appears, before networks get jammed, let me wish you the best this season.
Sending you and your family warmest wishes this season and hope the new year is the most special for you.
Whether or not you’re walking in a Winter Wonderland, have a wonderful holiday season.
From miles away, no matter how far we are, the warmth of the season will bring us closer together. May you have a wonderful holiday.

Best Christmas Greetings Meme

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Funny Christmas Quotes

November 30, 2018 By The Poet

We could all use a few funny Christmas quotes to brighten up our spirits during the holidays. Christmas is that time of the year when you have to enjoy it like there is no tomorrow. It is that time when you share presents and kind words with an open heart – no matter what the bills are. There is no other time like Christmas. It is also a time when you can take all the freedom to be humorous with anyone.

Hopefully, these gems will help generate a laugh or two.

Christmas Quotes Funny

If you can’t wrap Christmas presents well, at least make it look like they put up a good fight.
Unknown

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
Victor Borge
You know what I got for Christmas? Fat. I got fat.
Unknown
Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.
Andy Borowitz

Jingle All The Way Meme

Always jingle all the way. Nobody likes a half-assed jingler.
Unknown

Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
Unknown

Santa’s Naught List Meme

It’s all fun and games until Santa checks the naughty list.
Unknown

Hilarious Takes

Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues.
Unknown

The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven’t seen for 20 minutes.
Julius Sharpe
Christmas is a magical time of year… I just watched all my money magically disappear.
Unknown
What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Phyllis Diller
Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.
Unknown
Even before Christmas has said Hello, it’s saying ‘Buy Buy’.
Robert Paul

Check out our Merry Christmas page.

Short Funny Christmas Quotes

Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.
Andy Borowitz
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Johnny Carson
I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.
Henny Youngman
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
George Carlin
Dear Santa, just leave your credit card under the tree.
Unknown
Nothing says holiday like a cheese log.
Ellen DeGeneres
That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.
Jerry Seinfeld
Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.
Kin Hubbard
A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than yours.
John B. Priestly
Who’s the bane of Santa’s life? The elf and safety officer.
Catherine Tate
Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home.
Carol Nelson
Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of this day – the birth of Santa?
Matt Groening
At Christmas, tea is compulsory. Relatives are optional.
Robert Godden

Melanie White Quotations – “A White Christmas”

Christmas shopping for your parents is easy. Just buy them clothes you wouldn’t get caught dead in.
My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.
A Christmas miracle is when your family doesn’t get into a single argument all day.
It’s the holiday season. Let the overeating begin.
What’s the best part of Christmas shopping?
When you know it’s a wrap.
You know you’ve had a good Christmas when you spend more time unwrapping presents than untangling lights.
Christmas is a state of mind and that special feeling that only comes with an empty bank account.

More Fun Sayings

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
Garrison Keillor
There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
Erma Bombeck
One good thing about Christmas shopping is it toughens you for the January sales.
Grace Kriley
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Bernard Manning

Funny Christmas Movies Quotes

I don’t know what to say, but it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery.
Ellen Griswold (Christmas Vacation)
The heavenly aroma still hung in the house. But it was gone, all gone. No turkey. No turkey sandwiches. And, no turkey salad. And, no turkey gravy. Turkey Hash. Turkey a la King. Or gallons of turkey soup. Gone, ALL GONE.
Ralphie (Christmas Story)
From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.
Katharine Whitehorn
We’re gonna have the hap- hap- happiest Christmas.
Clark Griswold (Christmas Vacation)
One can never have enough socks. Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn’t get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books.
Professor Dumbledore (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone)
You’ll shoot your eye out kid. Merry Christmas.
Santa Claus (Christmas Story)

You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out Video

Merry Christmas Funny Quotes

Why were there only three kings at Jesus’ birth?
Elvis had not yet entered the building.
May your longest list this Christmas be the one that counts your blessings.
Unknown
At Christmas, play and make good cheer, for Christmas comes but once a year.
Thomas Tusser
You are the reason Santa has a naughty list.
Unknown
Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What’s in that pipe that he’s smoking?
Arlo Guthrie
May you never be too grown up to search the skies on Christmas Eve.
Unknown
Santa saw your Instagram pictures. You are getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas.
Unknown
Christmas is cancelled. You told Santa that you have been good this year. He died laughing.
Unknown
Merry Christmas.
Know what the best thing about this card is?
It doesn’t come with a fruitcake.
Unknown

For Cards

I wish for your holidays to be filled with many big smiles and big celebrations – but hopefully not big credit card bills.
My Christmas wish for you this year is simple: with all you are going to consume over the holidays, I hope your digestive system can handle it like a champ.
Happy holidays. May your egg nog contain enough rum to get you through the Christmas season.
I wish you love in loneliness, peace in trouble and white Christmas but if your white wine goes out, resort to red. Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas. May you receive presents that make you happy – and not fruitcake and ugly Christmas sweaters.
If you finish your Christmas shopping early, you should consider what’s wrong with you having so few friends.
May the calories of Christmas disappear by the New Year. Happy holidays.
I wish you wealth in nothingness and love in loneliness; When you have nothing to celebrate the Christmas, just believe that the next knock at your door belongs to Santa.
Merry Christmas. Santa is giving you the gift of a frigid winter – but just for a few more months.
I wanted to send you something amazing for Christmas but the mailman told me to get out of the mailbox.
Merry X-mas. May you be surrounded by jolly elves – and not nasty grinches- this holiday season.

Humorous Sayings

Remember that the important thing is not what you give, or how you wrap it. The important thing, during this very special time of year, is that you save the receipt.
Dave Barry
Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
Larry Wilde
There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.
Bob Phillips
One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.
Andy Rooney
Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included.
Unknown
What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present.
Don Marquis
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
Dave Barry
Many banks have a new kind of Christmas club in operation. The new club helps you save money to pay for last year’s gifts.
Unknown
Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.
Bridger Winegar

Funny Christmas Quotes

Do give books – religious or otherwise – for Christmas. They’re never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal.
Lenore Hershey
A Christmas shopper’s complaint is one of long-standing.
Jay Leno
You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle three things: a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights.
Maya Angelou
Christmas is a race to see which gives out first – your money or your feet.
Unknown
Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.
P. J. O’Rourke
Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
Frank McKinney Hubbard
People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.
Unknown

Funny Sayings

I stopped believing in Santa Clause when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.
Shirley Temple
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Unknown
I get a little behind during Lent, but it comes out even at Christmas.
Frank Butler
Xmas: The only time of the year where you can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks.
Unknown
Dear Santa, I can explain.
Unknown

I’m dreaming of a white Xmas. But, if it runs out, I’ll drink the red.
Unknown
Dear Santa, I’ve been good for the past few days. Let’s focus on that.
Unknown

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Thanksgiving Puns: Turkey, Pilgrims, Stuffing

November 20, 2018 By The Poet

Our Thanksgiving puns make light of what many consider to be the most American of all holidays. We get together with friends and family, we eat, watch some football, we eat some more, and maybe, just maybe get in a little post-meal exercise. Oh, and one more thing – the most important – we express our gratitude and give thanks for all of our blessings in life. One of those blessings is the ability to laugh at ourselves.

Thanksgiving Puns To Fill Your Plate

Getting the longer part of the wishbone is a snap.
Eat, Drink and Cranberry.
Leftovers are for quitters.
Don’t feed the turkey, it’s stuffed.
Gobble, Gobble, until you wobble, wobble.
It doesn’t get any butter than this.
It’s all fun and games until the pants don’t fit.
I’m all about the baste, about the baste.
The dinner doesn’t stop until I’ve tried everything.
Is Thanksgiving dinner over?
You ain’t seen stuffing yet.
Buckle up for a great Thanksgiving, Pilgrim. (With apologies to John Wayne.)
Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, not your carbs.
What did the hipster say the day after Thanksgiving?
I liked the leftovers before they were cool.

Funny Thanksgiving

Baby, I’m a maize at the way you feed me.
Get stuffed!
Already thinking about the leftovers.
Don’t forget to set your scales back 10 pounds tonight.
Don’t be a jerky, eat some turkey.
Eat hard, sleep harder.
Oh my gourd, I love Thanksgiving.
Talk Turkey To Me.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin pi!
When fitness means, “Can I fitness whole piece of pie in my mouth at once.”
Popeye’s Thanksgiving thought: I yam what I yam.
Go ahead, bake my day!

Learn more about the inside story of Thanksgiving’s History.

Thanksgiving Puns About Turkey

Butterballin’ on a Budget.
Clear eyes, full stomach, can’t lose.
You miss 100% of the leftovers you don’t eat.
What is the key to a great Thanksgiving meal?
Tur-key! Duh.
Nobody puts gravy in the corner.
What does a turkey drink from?
A gobble-t.
I’m giving up leftovers over time because I can’t quit cold turkey.
An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.

Thanksgiving Puns for Kids

What do you get when you cross a octopus with a turkey?
Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
Where did the turkey learn to dance?
At the Butterball.
Thanksgiving = Not a good day to be my pants.
What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
The letter “g.”
Black Friday purchases need to take in account the weight you gained on Thursday.

More Puns for Kids.

Pilgrim Jokes

What did the pilgrim call his home boys?
Pal-grims!
Why doidn’t pilgrims tell secretes in the corn field?
The corn has ears.
What happened to the pilgrim who was wounded by the Indian?
He had an arrow escape.
If pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
Their age.
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims

More Fun Thanksgiving Jokes and Humor.

Funny Thanksgiving Insights

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
Phyllis Diller
On Thanksgiving Day, all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment – halftime.
Put your fat pants on…it’s time to eat.
There’s a place for all of God’s creatures – next to the potatoes and gravy.
What a bunch of turkeys!

Happy Thanksgiving Meme

Happy Turkey Day!

Call the girls, call the guys, we’re having peas, potatoes and pumpkin pies.
Give thanks, eat pie!
People dress up on Halloween, we dress turkeys on Thanksgiving.
The day after thanksgiving is the busiest day for plumbers.
Eat, drink and wear stretchy pants.
Don’t run a fowl of the cook!
Ah, the life of pie.
What do you call a rude turkey?
A Jerkey!
What did the turkey say to the hunter?
Quack, quack, quack.
Families are like peanut brittle, it takes a lot of sweetness to hold the nuts together.
What does a turkey with one leg say?
Wobble-wobble.
Why were the fans tired of the turkeys’ baseball team?
All they hit were fowl balls.

Thanksgiving Movie Puns Meme

Thanksgiving Movies

What’s eating Giblet Grape?
Bye Bye Birdie.
Poultry Fiction.
Some Like it Hot.
An American Turkey in the Oven.
Gobbler on the Roof.
To Kill a TurkeyBird.
Eat, Pray, Football.
The Right Stuffing.
The Dining King.
The Maltese Turkey.
Turkey Darko.
Fowl Play!
A Sweet Potato Named Desire.
Inglorious Basters.
Cradle 2 Gravy.
Leave it to Cleaver.
Beauty and the Feast.
Silence of the Yams.

Turkey Leftovers

When the turkey was told he would be surrounded by family for the holiday, it wasn’t necessarily a good thing.
How to diet on Thanksgiving: Don’t!
The thing I’m most thankful for: Elastic Waistbands.
Thanksgiving dinner: How people used to communicate before social media.
Dear Christmas, Wait your turn. C’mon man!
Sincerely, Thanksgiving
I was thinner before Thanksgiving dinner.

###

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Do you like puns? Check these out:

Birthday

Christmas

Coffee

Food including Pizza, Donuts and Cheese

Wine

Funny Happy Birthday Messages, Memes, Wishes

November 14, 2018 By The Poet

If you’re looking for some funny happy birthday messages, memes and wishes, you’ve come to the right place. Check out our offering below and use one or more of the selections for birthday cards, social media wishes and greetings in person.

Funny Ways to Say Happy Birthday

Another year, another new place that aches.

A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.

So many candles, so little cake.

Welcome to the Middle Ages – Happy 50th!

Your birthday: A day to celebrate that you didn’t die last year!

Call Out: Do you have any ideas for funny happy birthday messages? Let us know on the Contact page. Thanks.

Hilarious Birthday Wishes

Happy b’day! The only thing getting old is that phrase!

Wishing you joy and moves like Jagger on your birthday!

I hope that for every candle on your cake you get a wonderful surprise.

My heartfelt congratulations for being born a very, very, very long time ago.

On your birthday, let me wish you plenty of joy, I know you’re too old, but I still bought you a toy!

May the 40th be with you!

Thanks for being born today. It’s a great excuse for eating cake.

Wishing you a day as unforgettable as I am. Happy Birthday Dude!

Happy Age Advancement Day! You still look fab!

Messages for Him

You’re going to need a lot of help blowing out your candles this year. Maybe I can help you.

Earlier I wished that your entire wish comes true this year. Then I thought that if your all dreams come true this year. Then there will be no dream left for next year.

Here’s to taking 50 by the horns and making it your bitch…right after your afternoon nap! Happy Birthday!

Don’t worry about your home. I had already booked fire extinguisher, in case your bday cake catches fire. Love you my old friend.

To the b’day boy, you’re getting up there in age. Don’t spend too much time counting your candles or you’ll get dizzy.

Don’t worry about your age. You are still younger than your next birthday. Have a special Celebration.

You’re a lucky bday boy to have a girlfriend like me.

I hope you’re feeling gracious on your birthday, it’s better to be alive than 6 feet under. Happy Birthday to you.

Honey. I’ll stick around forever…or at least until you stop looking younger than your true age. Stay sexy!

Sayings for Her

It’s good to stay young, but with every birthday you are getting older. Don’t worry, just chill. Make your b’day special.

This message is free from extra fat, cholesterol, and additives. It is totally organic, but it is full of sugar. This message is as sweet as the person reading it.

Can you blow out the candles on the cake or should we call the fire department? HBD, my baby!

Did you remember that happy, funny, colorful day of young age? It always feels awesome when you can recall those memories.

Funny how someone can be all the best AND all the worst in my life. Have a great bday!

Congratulations on your 10,950th days alive. Happy 30th Birthday, Sweetie!

I got something special for you, which both of us love. Wooo! I ate it all on the way.

On your Bday I have a special wish. Smile while all your teeth are present! Congratulations!

Your birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar: Yung No Mo.

Funny Birthday Messages Meme

Happy Birthday Dad Funny

Here’s a fun fact—no, not that you’re getting older. Just that you’re starting to look even funnier. Happy b’day Dad!

To my dear Dad: I was going to buy something awesome for your birthday, but I didn’t seem to have enough money. So for your birthday this year, I’m going to give you a suggestion that you increase my pocket money for the next year.

My dearest Dad, I know today is your Bday, but it’s not a real holiday so I’m not too excited about it. Just kidding.

Here’s to you on your birthday, Dad, and every gray hair on your head. After all, I helped to contribute to those.

Congratulations on the 38rd anniversary of your 18th birthday! You are still so young, Dad.

No matter what life throws at you Dad, at least you don’t have ugly children. HBD!

Life doesn’t come with a toolkit, but it comes with a Dad. Have a great bday!

You’ve always been my favorite no fee ATM. A special birthday wish to you Dad!

Happy birthday to a father who has the best daughter in the world.

HBD Meme

Husband Funny Happy Birthday Messages

I am the best thing that ever happened to you. Happy birthday dear!

HBD. Don’t think of it as getting older. Think of it as getting closer to qualifying for amazing senior discounts.

Happy Bday to one of the few people I can actually tolerate on a daily basis.

For some reason, when I go birthday shopping for you, I end up finding a lot more gifts for myself. Your birthdays are really expensive, but you’re worth it.

I hope you celebrate your birthday the way you came into this world: naked and screaming.

Dear hubby, you define my past and my future. And as for the present, I could find nothing for you. So I bought one for myself.

You’ve never lost your sense of wonder,
You wonder where your keys are,
You wonder where your glasses are,
And, you wonder where your shoes are,
You wonder where your mind is,
Have a wonderful bday.

Let’s celebrate your birthday and stop worrying about your age. It’s too late.

Happy birthday from one of the most amazing and wonderful women you know!

Tip: These funny happy birthday messages make great captions on Facebook and Instagram.

Birthday = Fun! Meme

Best Friend Greetings

May you live to be old and toothless.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Candles are years Happy Birthday to you!

You’re older than you’ve been. But look on the bright side, you’re younger now than you’ll ever be!

It’s your b’day! Which means it’s a great excuse to make some bad decisions, let’s party it up!

Forget the past, forget the future and please forget the present too as I did forget to get you one. But happy birthday, dear.

Best friends are the friends who keep your embarrassing secrets private. Thank you for always keeping my less than proud moments under wraps. Wishing a great birthday to my best friend.

May your birthday be amazingly awesome and your hangover be mercifully minor.

Happy Bday dear friend. A friend in need is a friend in deed; I’m in need of your car, to have it as mine, can you give it to me as a mark of being a friend indeed?

The best gift is the gift of friendship. So, that is what I got you for your birthday! Don’t worry. I got you a real present too.

Another year closer to getting those senior citizen seats on buses! HBD!

–Mike O’Halloran

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Best Beach Captions

Gone to the Beach; Be Back Never.

Seas the Day.

Beach you to it.

BEACH: Best Escape Anyone Can Have.

The beach is my happy place.

Shell we dance?

Life is better with a little sand between your toes.

Ever met an unhappy clam?

Beach Instagram Captions

Beach Hashtags

Island Captions

Fun in the Sun

Funny Beach Captions

Clever Sayings

Cute Beach Sayings

Ocean, Sand, and Sea Captions

Beach Instagram

Beach Puns

Etcetera

Love Text Messages To Spice Up Your Romance

For Him

Love Text Messages For Her

Love Messages

SMS Messages For Romantic Love

How to Use a Sweet Love Text Message

Further Reading

77 Short Love Quotes For Incurable Romantics

Top Ten Short Love Quotes

1.) The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.

2.) I wish I’d done everything on earth with you.

3.) Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

4.) Grow old along with me; the best is yet to be.

5.) Marry someone who laughs at the same things you do.

6.) A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.

7.) He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle.

8.) I know I am in love with you because my reality is finally better than my dreams.

9.) Love is a game that two can play and both win.

10.) I love you right up to the moon — and back.

Short Love Quotes For Her

Inspirational

Sweet Love Quotations

Short Love Quotes For Him

Love Sayings

Cute Love Quotes

Romantic

Further Reading

40 Funny Ways to say “I Love You”

1.) Read between the swines: “I love you.”

2.) You are the crayons to my coloring book.

3.) I’ve fallen for you…and I can’t get up.

4.) I just wanna be your teddy bear. Well, not a soft, squishy teddy bear, but more of a rock hard, six-pack teddy bear.

5.) When I look at you, I feel a warmth in my heart. At least I think it’s warmth, I did have a burrito for lunch.

6.) If I wrote the book of love, you would be my dedication.

7.) Let’s get it on! No really, stop laughing, let’s get it on!

8.) Kiss me, I’m crazy about you! Okay, well maybe I’m just crazy.

9.) Elizabeth Barrett Browning said, “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.” Okay, let’s see, one, two, three…er, uh three!

10.) Your touch makes me quiver, Your look makes me shiver. I hope you’re a giver, Cause I think I can deliver!

11.) I’d like you to guest star on my Love Boat.

12.) My feelings for you are a miracle. Not like walking on water, but pretty darn close.

13.) Has anyone ever told you that you’re hot? No really, I think you might be coming down with something. But I love you anyway. Now seriously, back away.

14.) Sometimes I think you’re just a dream. But then I wake up and realize you’re my special nightmare.

15.) I see stars when I look in your eyes. Or maybe it’s a concussion, hmmm…could be love too.

16.) If I could only have one guest for dinner, it would be you. Not as the main dish, as a companion of course.

17.) I have felt the sting of cupid’s arrow and the pain I feel for you.

18.) I got my glasses checked, and now I believe in love at first sight. I didn’t recognize you before.

19.) When you frown, my mood is down. And when you smile, I fly a mile. When you laugh, my worries are cut in half. But when you sing, well frankly you’re no Bing.

20.) You are like a cup of tea by the fire. Warm, and a little bit hot, sparkling too.

21.) I try to think of you all the time. And when I’m not thinking of you, I think of ways I could be thinking of you. And when I’m not thinking of the ways I could be thinking of you, I get confused and have to start over.

22.) I don’t know how you do what you do, but I do know that what you do, makes me want to do it too.

23.) A kiss is worth a thousand words. Here’s my new book…smooch, smooch, smooch!

24.) I will love you more tomorrow, then I love you today. And I love you more yesterday, than I did today. Some people call me “The Love Procrastinator.”

25.) They say you are the sun, the moon, and the stars. For me, you are the dishes, the laundry, and the stove. No really, I mean it.

26.) Love is in the air. Ok, it’s me…sorry.

27. In my heart is a beautiful feeling for you. Either that, or I have atrial fibrillation.

28.) You pull at my heart strings, And play my brain like a violin.

29.) I may have had one too many cocktails. But in my eyes, you’re a vision! A vision of what I’m not quite sure. But a vision none the less.

30.) Be mine with all your heart and soul. Some nice roses wouldn’t hurt either.

31.) Let’s be love birds… And poop on a car.

32.) Dove, glove, above, shove, whereof…hmmm. A poet struggling for a rhyme for love. But, you’re worth the struggle. I love you.

10.) Your touch makes me quiver,
Your look makes me shiver.
I hope you’re a giver,
Cause I think I can deliver!

13.) Has anyone ever told you that you’re hot?
No really, I think you might be coming down with something.
But I love you anyway.
Now seriously, back away.

14.) Sometimes I think you’re just a dream.
But then I wake up and realize you’re my special nightmare.

15.) I see stars when I look in your eyes.
Or maybe it’s a concussion, hmmm…could be love too.

16.) If I could only have one guest for dinner, it would be you.
Not as the main dish, as a companion of course.

18.) I got my glasses checked, and now I believe in love at first sight.
I didn’t recognize you before.

19.) When you frown, my mood is down.
And when you smile, I fly a mile.
When you laugh, my worries are cut in half.
But when you sing, well frankly you’re no Bing.

20.) You are like a cup of tea by the fire.
Warm, and a little bit hot, sparkling too.

21.) I try to think of you all the time.
And when I’m not thinking of you,
I think of ways I could be thinking of you.
And when I’m not thinking of the ways I could be thinking of you,
I get confused and have to start over.

22.) I don’t know how you do what you do,
but I do know that what you do,
makes me want to do it too.

23.) A kiss is worth a thousand words.
Here’s my new book…smooch, smooch, smooch!

24.) I will love you more tomorrow, then I love you today.
And I love you more yesterday, than I did today.
Some people call me “The Love Procrastinator.”

25.) They say you are the sun, the moon, and the stars.
For me, you are the dishes, the laundry, and the stove.
No really, I mean it.

26.) Love is in the air.
Ok, it’s me…sorry.

27. In my heart is a beautiful feeling for you.
Either that, or I have atrial fibrillation.

28.) You pull at my heart strings,
And play my brain like a violin.

29.) I may have had one too many cocktails.
But in my eyes, you’re a vision!
A vision of what I’m not quite sure.
But a vision none the less.

30.) Be mine with all your heart and soul.
Some nice roses wouldn’t hurt either.

31.) Let’s be love birds…
And poop on a car.

32.) Dove, glove, above, shove, whereof…hmmm.
A poet struggling for a rhyme for love.
But, you’re worth the struggle. I love you.

33.) If I were a flower, I would bloom in your sunshine.
If I were a weed, I would wither in your shadow.

34.) I’m so glad I found you…
I was looking for my keys.

35.) Love is like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you are going to get,
But there’s always a surprise.

36.) Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote…
“Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.”
No!

37.) There must be a reason I fell in love with you.
For the life of me, I just can’t think of it right now.

38.) Love is everything.
Everything is love.

39.) I love you because you’re perfect.
And believe me, I should know.