Hit your stride with these dad jokes. They’re too good not to share! Sometimes, fathers can say the darndest things. But, in the big picture, there’s still something really comforting about their type of corny humor. Grimace if needed, groan if you can’t keep it inside, but ultimately you probably love the effort. Look, he’s trying to make you smile even if he fails 90% of the time.

Enjoy these – you’re certain to enjoy a few chuckles and groans by the time you get to the end.

Best Dad Jokes

Dad jokes require a certain level of finesse, but these jokes roll off the tongue with little effort. After all, they combine a level of wordplay and pun mastery that few people can pull off, so enjoy!

Funny Dad Jokes

Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks?
Mini-soda.

Why did the stadium get hot after the game?
All of the fans left.

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What did the dad say when his son asked if he got a haircut?
He said, no I got them all cut.

What happened when the boy asked if his dad could you put his shoes on?
He said, no, he doesn’t think they’ll fit him.

Why did the dad tell his family to avoid the sushi?
Because he said that it was a little fishy.

Cheesy

Want to hear a joke about paper?
Nevermind, I won’t tell it because it’s just tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
It has really great food, but there’s no atmosphere.

Why did the cookie cry?
Because his father was a wafer so long.

How do hair stylists speed up their job?
They take short cuts.

What is a boxer’s favorite drink?
Punch.

More Cheesy Jokes.

Dad Jokes Meme

Bad Dad Jokes

What is a dad’s favorite thing to eat at the movies?
Popcorn.

Why couldn’t the kid stop reading the book about anti-gravity?
Because he said that it was impossible to put down.

What’s the opposite of irony?
Wrinkly.

What did the man say in the elevator about the operator?
This job really has its ups and downs.

Why did the man stop his origami business.
Because it folded.

Why did the man hate the movie about the earthquake?
Because it had so many faults.

What did the girl say when she dropped her piece of gum on the floor?
I guess it wasn’t mint to be.

Why didn’t the comedian share his chemistry joke?
Because he was afraid he wouldn’t get a reaction.

Why don’t fathers wear sunglasses?
Because they only wear dadglasses.

Corny Jokes Meme

Corny Jokes

What kind of shoes does a thief wear?
Sneakers.

What did the bartender say to the jumper cable at the bar?
I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.

What did the woman leave the seafood disco last week?
Because she pulled a mussel.

Where can you get chicken broth in bulk?
The stock market.

What do you call a man with no nose and no body?
Nobody nose.

What did the man say about his sick cat?
He doesn’t think it’s feline well.

Why do we need geometry?
Because life is pointless without it.

How can you tell that a train just went by?
It leaves its tracks.

Great, Corny Jokes.  Is that an oxymoron?

Good Jokes

Why couldn’t the woman ever lose weight?
Because she said it keeps finding her.

Why is the athlete playing soccer?
Because he’s just doing it for kicks.

Why did the man stop working his job at a shoe recycling shop?
Because it was sole destroying.

Where did the one-legged waitress work?
At IHOP.

What happened when the two antennas got married?
They had a great wedding and reception.

Why didn’t the man get any camouflage trousers the other day?
Because he couldn’t find any.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A waist of time.

Why don’t honest people need beds?
They don’t lie.

What did the boat say to the pier?
What’s up, dock?

Why did the cucumber call 911?
It was in a pickle.

Terrible Jokes

What did the mountain climber name his son?
Cliff.

What happened when the boy asked his dad to make him a sandwich?
His dad said, poof, now you’re a sandwich.

How do you make a steak pun?
Medium well done.

Why is milk the fastest liquid on earth?
It’s pasteurized before you even see it.

Why don’t ants ever get sick?
Because they have little anty-bodies.

What do you call a poppa candy?
A sugar daddy.

What did the light bulb say to its mother?
I wuv you watts and watts.

Punny Jokes

How much did the man charge for his batteries today?
Nothing, they were free of charge.

How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them.

What did the painter say to the wall?
Don’t worry, I got you covered.

What do you get when you cross a mouse with a squid?
An eektopus.

How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.

What is a good password that’s eight characters long?
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland?
The flag is a big plus.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.

One-Liner Jokes

If you were a vegetable you’d be a cute-cumber.

I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.

Every night at 11:11, I make a wish that someone will come fix my broken clock.

I’m not indecisive, unless you want me to be.

I once walked in on my parents while they were in bed. But they were asleep, so I left.

I want to see something with the clothed eye.

Pennies are a dime a dozen.

I don’t like relationships. I get seasick.

From my point of view, all I can see is a point.

I once saw a court stenographer transcribe a mime’s testimony.

I once painted a self-portrait of someone else.

I’m just itching to tell you about my allergies.

On the sunny side of the street, it’s a little bit warmer.

I once found a needle beside a haystack.

###

Etcetera

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Good morning messages to your family and friends start the day off right. A day started well, ends well. Attitude can make all the difference, and the person’s attitude you need to be most concerned about is your own.

Wishes for a Good Morning

The one rule for wishing someone a great day – and this is not to be broken – you must say it with a smile on your face.

For Him

• To the guy whose hugs make my days sweeter and kisses make my life brighter.
• I love waking up in your arms each day. It’s a fine Sunday morning, my handsome man. I wish you a beautiful day.
• A handsome guy like you is a dream for most girls, but you are my reality and the person I love. Have a great day, babe.
• Being yours makes every morning a very great morning. Good day, my love. Have an awesome day today. I can’t wait to see you.
• Hello, handsome! I love the smell of fresh coffee in the morning; it’s a reminder that I have another day to spend with you.
• My favorite times of the day are the mornings, like this morning, when I wake up to you, and when I know I will see you again tonight.
• I just want to tell you how much I appreciate you each and every day.
• This Sunday morning would be better if I were there with you, but I am so glad you are in my life. Have a beautiful day!

Check out: Cute boyfriend messages

For Her

• That wonderful bird, singing near your window, is my companion, who agreed to help me to express my feelings for you.
• Every morning the sun makes a compliment to your beauty and illuminates your room and fills it with warmth.
• Good morning baby. I just wanted to say that your beautiful smile keeps me happy, your chirpy voice keeps me motivated, your tender touch keeps me active, and all I want is you with me.
• Early in the morning, the warm sunshine, the cold morning breeze, the chirping of birds everything reminds me of you…my sweet angel. Thanks for being there with me, always. Good morning dear.
• On Monday mornings, you are busy, but especially delicate and fragile. All I want is to keep you in my arms and never let you go.
• May this lovely Sunday morning brings a new fragrance of romance in your life and fills your heart with love.
• As sun smiles on you today, your luck may smile too today. Good morning and walk forward to your lucky day!

For Friends

• Now, I cannot guarantee that you will have an awesome day but I can guarantee that you will be in the loving company of friends like me.
• Having morning coffee…watching sunrise in the morning brings me a lot of happiness but there is lack of a little thing; you are not here with me.
• As you read these words, know that right at this moment there is someone who is thinking of you and cares about you my friend.
• My friend, may you have a day as bright as your smiles and as sweet as your soul this Thursday morning.

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Good Morning Love

• Now that such a sweet person like you has read this message, I won’t need to put sugar in my coffee.
• The sun is up, the skies are blue, good morning my love I’ll be thinking about you.
• You are the reason I have learned that not all days are going to be same. Staying still won’t do any good, but moving on would. Have a motivating morning!
• Loving you is like a new day. It’s fresh and true.
• This Sunday morning means nothing without, so I’m happy to say that you’re apart of my life.
• If you’re not too busy this Sunday morning, please take some time to look yourself in the mirror and appreciate all that you are.
• Happy Tuesday! Okay, so it may not Friday yet, but I am so happy you are alive and all mine.
• The sun lights up the day, but you light up my life.
• Happy Monday baby. I just wanted you to let you know that you are always on my mind. Have a great day!

Good Morning Messages Meme

Good Morning Text

• Remember that today is your day and no matter what happens you are truly an amazing part of my life.
• Tell yourself today will be great, and if you really believe, it really will be!
• Mondays may be hard, but remember that someone loves you.
• This Saturday, I just want to snuggle with you the whole day long. Say you will stay?
• I hope today brings plenty of joy and happiness, because no one loves you more than me.

Tip: Good morning messages sent as texts communicate to the recipient how much you care about them.

Good Morning Wishes

• Every morning is special and you will not get them again. Enjoy the day!
• Dreaming big is great but sleeping big is not. So, get up and get on with it (at your own leisurely pace).
• You are the first thing to enter my mind in the morning and the last thing to leave my heart at night. Have a wonderful day!
• Everyday may not be great, but there is something great in every day.

Morning Quotes

• When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.
  Marcus Aurelius
• Good morning is not just a word, it’s an action and a belief to live the entire day well. Morning is the time when you set the tone for the rest of the day. Set it right!
  Fain Blake
• Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.
  Lemony Snicket
• Every morning I jump out of bed and step on a landmine. The landmine is me. After the explosion, I spent the rest of the day putting the pieces together.
  Ray Bradbury
• Up at dawn, the dewy freshness of the hour, the morning rapture of the birds, the daily miracle of sunrise, set her heart in tune, and gave her Nature’s most healing balm.
  Louisa May Alcott

###

Etcetera

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Sometimes simply reading a few well-chosen words — quotes about life from the famous and the not-so-famous — can be enough to set you on the path to a more rewarding life. At some level, you may already know what these quotes express. But as the French philosopher Michel de Montaigne said, “I quote others in order the better to express my own self.” Because these individuals expressed themselves so eloquently, they motivate us to put their thoughts into action and enrich our lives.

A Happier You (in 17 easy-to-digest sound bites)

Those quoted here include statesmen, philosophers, and celebrities who have met life’s challenges successfully. They learned a lot along the way and know whereof they speak. So here is a collection of some of their very best crystallized thinking. You’ll find proverbs that lead you to the proverbial “good life,” maxims to help you maximize your potential. Stay mindful of these 17 pearls of wisdom in your daily life and the uptick in your personal happiness is bound to be notable — and quotable.

1.) “You are not in charge of the universe; you are in charge of yourself.”

— Arnold Bennett

Yep, the world is crazy sometimes. Learn to live with it. Tomorrow it may rain, and you can’t stop it. But you can carry an umbrella and stay dry. Similarly, other people may rain on your parade. But when their actions seem unkind, unfair, or unfathomable, just remember those other people are trying to act in their own best interests, not yours. If you can’t control them, don’t wallow in your frustration. Focus on what you can control: yourself. Forego the moaning and groaning during the day and you’ll do less tossing and turning at night. Try to operate under your own umbrella of positivity. Odds are you’ll come out ahead in the long run. 

2.) “Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for old age.”

— Booth Tarkington

Taking this little gem to heart represents a win-win: It increases your happiness quotient in the present and in the future. When something good happens, savor it. Let’s say you get a promotion. That doesn’t happen every day. So go out and celebrate it. Do something wild. And guess what? Fifty years from now, when you’re old and gray, chances are you’re going to remember that promotion largely because of the memorable celebration that followed it. The good times may not represent the lion’s share of your life in terms of days or weeks or years, but someday those good times just might make up the lion’s share of your memories.

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3.) “The world is like a mirror: frown at it and it frowns at you; smile, and it smiles too.”

— Herbert Samuel

When you’re happy, healthy, and have someone to share your life with, you look up at the moon and the stars and it all looks wonderful to you. Then, one day life deals you some harsh blows, and what happens? Those same stars suddenly appear to you as jumbled specks in a vast, cold, empty universe. Obviously, the universe hasn’t changed — you have. What’s important to remember is, once you get yourself back on track, order will return to the universe as well. Just because your life is temporarily out of whack, don’t get fooled into thinking life itself is hopeless.

4.) “You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips.”

— Oliver Goldsmith

Think of your life as a series of building blocks. You are building a monument to the kind of person you are. If you build it right, others are going to look at it in awe. 

5.) “When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.”

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Let’s suppose you want to be a lawyer. Then you flunk out of law school. You’re devastated. To forget your troubles, you go to a club where your friend’s up-and-coming band is playing. Your friend says his band is looking for a manager. You take the job, discover you love the music business, and realize you’d have been miserable as a lawyer. Bad breaks turn out to be lucky breaks more often than you think.

6.) “Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

— Dr. Seuss

This advice is oftentimes easier said than done. Subjects like politics, religion, and sexual orientation can be minefields. If you constantly speak your mind, you may wind up with fewer friends — but you’ll have fewer ulcers. And even those ex-friends of yours are probably going to admire you for laying all your cards on the table. They’ll probably envy your courage, your passion, and your honesty. Plus you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that the friends who remain appreciate the real you.

7.) “Always imitate the behavior of the winners when you lose.”

— George Meredith

If you lose a hard-fought battle but manage to show grace and dignity in defeat, you’ve actually won — because the ability to show that kind of sportsmanship after a crushing loss may demand just as much talent and determination as victory itself. I once coached a group of college students in a competition where they emerged victorious against another university. When the star of our team walked up and extended her hand for a handshake with the captain of the losing team, the captain refused the handshake and stalked off in a huff. At that moment, she wasn’t simply the captain of the losing team — she was a loser, period.

8.) “Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

— Eleanor Roosevelt

Sometimes we all feel intimidated when we cross paths with someone who speaks better, acts cooler, and dresses nicer than we do. When that happens, resist the temptation to become tongue-tied and cower in a corner. The other person is human, just like you. Consider this: They might be so insecure that they feel compelled to wear designer clothes and bombard you with facts about the one subject they know inside and out. Make a point to act like the other person’s equal. You’ll soon find yourself on an equal footing with them — even if their feet happen to be walking in Gucci boots. 

9.) “Overcome the notion that you must be regular. It robs you of the chance to be extraordinary.”

— Uta Hagen

Remember that old Apple commercial, “Here’s to the crazy ones”? It celebrated geniuses like Einstein and Martin Luther King, Jr., declaring that, “the people who are crazy enough to change the world are the ones who do.” OK, maybe you won’t come up with a Theory of Relativity or an “I Have a Dream” speech. Maybe you won’t change the world. But if you’re not afraid to show those around you what makes you special, you might change someone’s life for the better.

10.) “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

— Buddha

Does that sound like an exaggeration? Not so much. If you try to hide your anger, your antagonist will think they’ve won (they got their way and you’re not even mad). If you give them the silent treatment, they may revel in the fact that you’re still upset. Either way, you’re going to be miserable and they’re going to be gloating. So what do you do? Without exploding — but as forcefully as possible — let your anger out. Explain why you feel as you do. At some level, they’re likely to feel some remorse. In any event, once you’ve spit out “the poison,” you’ll be able to move on.

Tip: These quotes about life make great inspirational messages to place by your desk, on the fridge or on a bulletin board.

11.) “Dreams without goals remain dreams.”

— Denzel Washington

Children dream about becoming a cowboy or a ballerina. They haven’t thought about how they’re going to get there, but that’s okay — they’re children. For adults, dreams are not sufficient. You have to turn the dreams into reality, one step at a time. The reality is never as easy or as perfect as the dream. To achieve it, you need a plan of action. Where do you want to end up? What are you willing to give up in order to get there? How much time and money will it take? And how much do you want it? — that may be the most important question of all, because the answer will likely determine whether or not you get there.

12.) “Once a story’s told, it can’t help but grow old.”

— Boz Skaggs

You break up with someone, and you just know you’ll never be able to stop thinking about them. You keep thinking about them and thinking about them. And that’s healthy — because it means eventually another thought will inevitably occur to you: I’m sick of thinking about this person. I’m all thought out about them. I need to think about something else. No matter what misfortunes befall you, know this: Time is on your side.

13.) “Success consists in going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”

— Winston Churchill

Churchill was amazingly resilient, taking a number of long detours along the road to success. Overseeing a disastrous military campaign in World War I, he resigned from the British government and was out of office in the 1930s, when he became a leading critic off the government’s appeasement of Nazi Germany. Appointed Prime Minister in 1940, Churchill led the nation to victory in 1945. Despite his accomplishments, he was replaced as Prime Minister in 1945. Undeterred, he returned to power, enjoying considerable success in the 1950s. So if you suffer setbacks — on the office battlefield or on the homefront — channel Churchill.

14.) “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

— Wayne Gretzky

In the course of a legendary career, Wayne Gretzky scored 1072 goals, more than any other hockey player before or since. No doubt he missed more than he made, but if he had stopped to worry each time about whether the puck was going into the net, he never would have broken all those records. Don’t be afraid to make gutsy decisions and take reasonable risks. Otherwise you’ll never know if you’d have succeeded. And if you don’t even make the attempt, you’ve already failed.

15.) “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”

— Maya Angelou

Life can start to feel like a life sentence when each day goes along on a monotonous even keel, exactly like the day before it. It’s the highs and lows that make life interesting. Sooner or later the lows find all of us — that’s why we have to make the effort to find the highs. Seek out people who challenge or inspire you. Ride a mule to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Find the thing that scares you, thrills you, energizes you — and shock yourself by making it your thing.

16.) “It is almost as great a misfortune to be of use to everybody as to be of use to nobody.”

— Baltasar Gracian

If you live entirely for others, you’ll use yourself up and cease to be of any use to anyone. Even Mother Teresa undoubtedly had days when she just had to get away from it all and chill.

17.) “All things in the world are impermanent. They have the nature to rise and pass away. To be in harmony with this truth brings true happiness.”

—Buddhist chant

Assuming you survive beyond youth, you’re almost certain to experience serious loss in your life. Family, friends, home, work — everything is in a constant state of flux. There’s no way to avoid loss, so anticipate it before it happens. Accept it when it happens. And move on after it happens. When one door closes, another one opens. But all things must eventually end. As the old Persian adage states, “This too shall pass.” And much as I hate to admit it, that’s even true of this article! 

–Art Novak

Art Novak is an Emmy-winning writer, novelist, and Professor Emeritus at Savannah College of Art and Design. artnovakauthor.com

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More Quotes About Life

Funny Sayings About Life

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These jealousy quotes will help you deal with the sharp pangs of feeling jealous. Everyone has had that feeling when you wish you had something that a friend or family member has and you don’t. Recognizing the feeling of envy is the first step. These insights from authors, poets and notables will help you handle yourself.

Quotes about Jealousy

1. Jealousy is the jaundice of the soul.
   John Dryden
2. The few who do are the envy of the many who only watch.
   Jim Rohn
3. The jealous are possessed by a mad devil and a dull spirit at the same time.
   Johann Kaspar Lavater
4. Our envy of others devours us most of all.
   Alexander Solzhenitsyn
5. You can be the moon and still be jealous of the stars.
   Gary Allan
6. Men are so constituted that every one undertakes what he sees another successful in, whether he has aptitude for it or not.
   Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
7. Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness.
   Martin Luther King, Jr.
8. Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind.
   Buddha

Jealousy Image

Funny Jealousy Quotes

1. Plain women are always jealous of their husbands. Beautiful women never are. They are always so occupied with being jealous of other women’s husbands.
   Oscar Wilde
2. I love when people stare me down. It’s like they have nothing better to do, but it makes me feel better and I look that damn good.
   Unknown
3. I’ve never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished the fifth grade a year before I did.
   Jeff Foxworthy
4. To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.
   Elbert Hubbard
5. If you are going to make a rumor about me, at least, make a new one that I have never heard of before.
   Unknown
6. My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
   Rodney Dangerfield
7. I love my silly haters because they don’t know how to shut up.
   Unknown
8. More men die of jealousy than of cancer.
   Joseph P. Kennedy
9. Thank you, my haters, you make me gorgeous, awesome, successful and happy at the same time.
   Unknown
10. The venom clamors of a jealous woman poison more deadly than a mad dog’s tooth.
    William Shakespeare
11. If bitterness wants to get into the act, I offer it a cookie or a gumdrop.
    James Broughton

Envy Meme

Green With Envy

1. Many times, you are the single most significant and glorious thing that has ever happened in the lives of some people; they sit around and talk about you over and over again throughout the years while you are out there living your life, every step that you take and every kiss that you make having absolutely nothing to do with them, at all.
   C. JoyBell C.
2. The thermometer of success is merely the jealousy of the malcontents.
   Salvador Dali
3. Jealousy is indeed a poor medium to secure love, but it is a secure medium to destroy one’s self-respect.
   Emma Goldman
4. You can only be jealous of someone who has something you think you ought to have yourself.
   Margaret Atwood
5. Our envy always lasts longer than the happiness of those we envy.
   Francois de la Rochefoucauld
6. Be warned: A person content to sit with you and criticize others will speak critically of you out of earshot.
   Richelle E. Goodrich

Bitterness

1. When haters hate, I celebrate.
   Unknown
2. You are jealous because you are unaware that everything you need is inside you.
   Peter Deunov
3. Greatness inspires envy, envy engenders spite, spite spawns lies.
   J. K. Rowling
4. Jealousy is never satisfied with anything short of an omniscience that would detect the subtlest fold of the heart.
   George Eliot
5. Don’t be too fast to highlight the weaknesses of other people. That is the quickest way of exposing your own weaknesses.
   Israelmore Ayivor
6. A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
   Robert A. Heinlein
7. The envious man grows lean at the success of his neighbor.
   Horace

If you have any suggestions for our jealousy quotes page, please let us know via the contact page.

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Jealous In Relationships

1. Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive.
   Havelock Ellis
2. Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition.
   Robert A. Heinlein
3. Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
   Josh Billings
4. Jealousy would be far less torturous if we understood that love is a passion entirely unrelated to our merits.
   Paul Eldridge
5. Love has the power to confront any crises in a relationship. But we shouldn’t overdo it by giving in to extreme suspicion and jealousy.
   Unknown
6. Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening.
   Maya Angelou
7. I plan to keep what belongs to me. That may sound selfish, but so what. I know when I have something good and that good is you. You’re mine. All mine. And I’m keeping you. Always.
   Unknown

Spiteful Feelings

1. Bitterness imprisons life; love releases it. Bitterness paralyzes life; love empowers it. Bitterness sours life; love sweetens it. Bitterness sickens life; love heals it. Bitterness blinds life; love anoints its eyes.
   Harry Emerson Fosdick
2. Love shouldn’t be about jealousy or anything like that. It should be about commitment and being able to trust that person.
   Aaron Carter
3. In jealousy, there is more of self-love than love.
   François de La Rochefoucauld
4. There is no greater glory than love, nor any greater punishment than jealousy.
   Lope de Vega

Synonyms

Jealousy quotes synonyms: envy, spite, resentfulness, resentment and insecurity.

Envy

1. The envious die not once, but as oft as the envied win applause.
   Baltasar Gracin
2. Envy is like a fly that passes all the body’s sounder parts, and dwells upon the sores.
   Arthur Chapman
3. The truest mark of being born with great qualities, is being born without envy.
   François de La Rochefoucauld
4. It is never wise to seek or wish for another’s misfortune. If malice or envy were tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a boomerang.
   Charley Reese
5. Envy is ever joined with the comparing of a man’s self; and where there is no comparison, no envy.
   Francis Bacon
6. Never trust anyone who wants what you’ve got. Friend or no, envy is an overwhelming emotion.
   Eubie Blake
7. The envious will die, but envy never.
   Moliere
8. Envy is the art of counting the other fellow’s blessings instead of your own.
   Harold Coffin
9. Enemies are always born in your bloodlines. When in doubt always turn your head into your bloodlines. You will definitely find a solution to your problem.
   Unknown
10. When the root is bitterness, imagine what the fruit might be.
    Woodrow Kroll
11. Envy is thin because it bites but never eats.
    Spanish Proverb
12. Never waste your time with negative haters. The best way to handle that type of person is smiling. It annoys them more and makes you a winner.
    Unknown
13. Envy is the coward side of Hate, And all her ways are bleak and desolate.
    Henry Abbey

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Nothing can be sweeter than our cute couple quotes to express your affection. If you are a happy couple, you should count your blessings. And, you definitely let your partner know what you think.

Express your positive feelings. Unspoken words are likely the source of as many marriage break-ups as those said.

The perfect pair, the terrific twosome and the dynamic duo are relationships that take some work. A big part of successful relationships is communications. We’re here to help you. Find out what some the bright minds have to say about being a lovely duo. You can learn from these quotes and strengthen your relationship.

Cute Quotes For Couples

1) I believe that two people are connected at the heart, and it doesn’t matter what you do, or who you are or where you live; there are no boundaries or barriers if two people are destined to be together.
Julia Roberts

2) If you want a relationship that looks and feels like the most amazing thing on earth, you need to treat it like it is the most amazing thing on earth.
Unknown

3) When I am with you I feel perfect.
Unknown

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4) The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
Carl Jung

Funny

5) If they’re together long enough, every couple has one conversation over and over. This was ours.
Frederick Weisel

6) Those two are a fastidious couple. She’s fast and he’s hideous.
Henny Youngman

7) Unmarried couples should get married — that’s an excellent tax avoidance measure, if a bit drastic.
John Whiting

8) We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.
Robert Fulghum

Romance is in the Air

9) The couples that are ‘meant to be’ are the one who go through everything that is meant to tear them apart and come out even stronger than they were before.
Unknown

10) Every couple has ups and downs, every couple argues, and that’s the thing’you’re a couple, and couples can’t function without trust.
Nicholas Sparks – On Twitter

11) The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.
Audrey Hepburn

More Cute Couples Quotes

12) No human relation gives one possession in another―every two souls are absolutely different. In friendship or in love, the two side by side raise hands together to find what one cannot reach alone.
Kahlil Gibran

13) The gods granted us misery, in jealousy over the thought that we two, always together, should enjoy our youth, and then come to the threshold of old age.
Homer

14) No road is long with good company.
Turkish Proverb

15) Ideally, couples need three lives; one for him, one for her, and one for them together.
Jacqueline Bisset

16) When two people are meant for each other, no time is too long, no distance is too far, no one can ever tear them apart.
Unknown

Relationships

17) Relationships are eternal. The separation is another chapter in the relationship. Often, letting go of the old form of the relationship becomes a lesson in pure love much deeper than any would have learned had the couple stayed together.
Marianne Williamson

18) A relationship is like a house. When a light bulb burns out, you don’t go and buy a new house. You fix the light bulb.
Unknown

19) Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own.
H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

20) Great relationships aren’t great because they have no problems. They’re great because both people care enough about the other person to find a way to make it work.
Unknown

21) A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.
Unknown

22) You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships every day. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.
Epicurus

23) The relationship between husband and wife should be one of closest friends.
B. R. Ambedkar

24) Never leave a true relationship for a few faults. Nobody is perfect, nobody is correct, and in the end, affection is always greater than perfection.
Unknown

For Him

25) On the left side of a strong woman, stands a strong man; he is strengthened by her character.
Ellen J. Barrier

26) People believe that soul mates are two people that were made for one another. I believe that we were made for someone, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they were made for us.
Dominic Riccitello

27) If you would be loved, love, and be loveable.
Benjamin Franklin – Other Great Franklin Quotations

28) Being in love with you makes every morning worth getting up for.
Unknown

29) I can’t imagine what my life was before. I can’t imagine ever being without you for very long again.
Anna Godbersen

30) I won’t promise to be yours forever, because I won’t live that long. But let me be yours for as long as I live.
Unknown

31) 50% of a great relationship is how you treat someone. The other 50% is having the ability and confidence to communicate the treatment you want in return.
Matthew Hussey

For Her

32) A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
Brendan Francis

33) Out of all the things that I do all day, telling you that I love you is the sweetest thing I do. It is my favorite part of the day because you deserve all the love I can give.
Nathan Tweed

34) Forever is a long time. But, I wouldn’t mind spending it by your side.
Unknown

35) The royal road to a man’s heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most.
Dale Carnegie

36) Sometimes the only part of my life I’m sure about, is the part I share with you.
Unknown

37) So many of my smiles begin with you.
Unknown

Don’t keep all your tender thoughts for Valentine’s Day or your significant other’s birthday. Let folks know daily what you think about ’em.

Cute Couple Quotes Image

We put together these sick quotes because of the time of year. The day after the Super Bowl is supposedly the day that more folks call in sick to work than any other day. With so much “illness” going around, thought some of you might want to lean on some insights from authors and other notables on the topic. So if you’re feeling under the weather, get well soon – wink, wink.

Quotes about Being Sick

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Mark Twain

I’m so mean I make medicine sick!
Muhammad Ali

For every ailment under the sun, There is a remedy, or there is none, If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it.
Mother Goose

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
Rodney Dangerfield

Tis healthy to be sick sometimes.
Henry David Thoreau

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You can’t have healing without sickness.
T.D. Jakes

I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Fannie Lou Hamer

Sickness Sayings

What am I drinking? NyQuil on the rocks, for when you’re feeling sick but sociable.
Mitch Hedberg

It should be a crime to make a profit off somebody being sick.
Michael Moore

If you start to think of your physical and moral condition, you usually find that you are sick.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The very first requirement in a hospital is that it should do the sick no harm.
Florence Nightingale

The art of being sick is not the same as the art of getting well.
Tony Snow

Being sick feels like you’re wearing someone else’s glasses.
Megan Boyle

When you die, it does not mean that you lose to cancer, you beat cancer by how you live, why you live and in the manner in which you live.
Stuart Scott

Feeling Sick Quotes

Much of your pain is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Khalil Gibran

Old age and sickness bring out the essential characteristics of a man.
Felix Frankfurter

Some remedies are worse than the disease.
Publlilius Syrus

The most poetical thing in the world is not being sick.
G.K. Chesterton

Some days there won’t be a song in your heart. Sing anyway.
Emory Austin

The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love.
Hubert H. Humphrey

Get Better

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.
Eleanor Roosevelt

There are two kinds of people; those who are always well and those who are always sick. Most of the evils of the world come from the first sort and most of the achievement from the second.
Louis Dudek

The most important thing when ill, is to never lose heart.
Vladimir Lenin

The sick are the greatest danger for the healthy; it is not from the strongest that harm comes to the strong, but from the weakest.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Prayer is an act of love; words are not needed. Even if sickness distracts from thoughts, all that is needed is the will to love.
Saint Teresa of Avila

Overcoming Illness

If you treat a sick child like an adult and a sick adult like a child, everything usually works out pretty well
Unknown

Sickness comes on horseback, but departs on foot.
Dutch Proverb

Treat a sick man with the medicine and a sad man with the music.
Amit Kalantri

Illness is the most heeded of doctors: to goodness and wisdom we only make promises; pain we obey.
Marcel Proust

If just knowing that someone cares about you helps the healing process…then you should be feeling better already.
Unknown

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You’re on Sick Quotes page.

These funny Tuesday quotes are a great way to start a work day at the front end of the week. If you are carrying forward your Monday blues to Tuesday, there are so many inspiring sayings to help you get through the day. This day is named after the God of War in different cultures. Instead of frowning about it, turn this day into a great opportunity to do better things and achieve higher success.

Some of these quotes might make you laugh and others you’ll draw inspiration from. You’ll find great motivation and strength in these words to help you get through your day. Read these quotes and share with friends to help everyone be the best they can be.

Quotes about Tuesday

Tuesday is Monday’s ugly sister.
Unknown

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Tuesday.
Unknown

Monday always passes and there will always be a Tuesday with a beautiful blue sky with few clouds.
Unknown

Tuesday is my favorite day of the week. That’s cleaning day.
Jim Miller

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In college, you had to worry about that math class or this exam that’s coming up on Tuesday, but not in the professionals. You eat, sleep, and do everything related to your craft – and your craft is football. You can be at it from sunup to sundown.
Cam Newton

Happy Tuesday Sayings

It’s TUESDAY! And since it’s CHOOSEDAY: Choose to Smile, Choose to be Happy, Choose to Love, Choose to Bless, Choose to be a Blessing, Choose to be Humble, Choose to be Patient, and Choose to be Kind.
Unknown

On this Tuesday, remember that an attitude is contagious so remember to have a good one. Unknown

Happy Tuesday. Don’t worry Friday is coming.
Unknown

Tuesday is a huge day.
Ian Mcdougal

Happy Tuesday! Having even one, small positive thought can change the rest of your day for the better.
Unknown

Good Morning

I am too positive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful and too determined to be defeated.
Unknown

Good Morning Tuesday! Wishing you a blooming great day!
Unknown

Tuesdays are a chance for a new beginning and a new perspective, so make them count.
Unknown

A fresh start, a clean slate, and a lot of potential for great things to come. That is what Tuesdays really are.
Unknown

One small, positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
Dalai Lama

Good morning Tuesday! Please enter and pour out that shower of blessings into our lives, renew our spirits, our strength, our faith and our hope.
Unknown

Funny

Creativity is a highfalutin word for the work I have to do between now and Tuesday.
Ray Kroc

Tuesday’s are really just Monday’s dressed in their Sunday best.
Unknown

Ah Tuesday. The day to remember all the things I didn’t get done on Monday- and push them off until Wednesday.
Unknown

A Tuesday after a three day weekend is like a double-whammy Monday!
Unknown

Tuesday is my second favorite day of the week to put off everything until later in the week.
Unknown

TUESDAY – I can’t even see the weekend from here.
Unknown

I went out there for a thousand a week, and I worked Monday, and I got fired Wednesday. The guy that hired me was out of town Tuesday.
Nelson Algren

Tuesday: The day after Monday that reminds you that you still have four more days of not trying to slap a fellow co-worker.
Unknown

Tuesday is the day I actually start the week, Monday I just deal with the depression of the weekend ending.
Unknown

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Did you know that Tuesday was named for a one-handed god?

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Tuesday Quotes

Tuesday’s child is full of grace.
Unknown

We concentrate so much on anniversaries and birthdays that you forget it’s the Tuesday that’s tough that really counts. Sometimes she just needs some flowers or even just that ear. It’s the little things that count. It’s the regular days of the year that you have to keep your attention on her.
BJ the Chicago Kid

Silence is the invisibility of talking. I’d take half an argument over half a silence any day. And I’d take peace and quiet over a full-blown argument any other day, unless it’s Tuesday.
Will Advise

Tuesday isn’t so bad…It’s a sign that I’ve somehow survived Monday.
Unknown

No matter how good you might be in a movie, you’ll never be any better. But in a play, I can be better next Tuesday. That’s the thrill of it.
Kevin Spacey

You may have heard of Black Friday and Cyber Monday. There’s another day you might want to know about: Giving Tuesday. The idea is pretty straightforward. On the Tuesday after Thanksgiving, shoppers take a break from their gift-buying and donate what they can to charity.
Bill Gates

Why does February feel like one big Tuesday?
Todd Stocker

I don’t want it good. I want it Tuesday.
Jack Warner

There is a breed of Tuesday in January in which time creeps and no light comes and the air is full of water and nobody really loves anybody
Zadie Smith

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Thursday Quotations

Saturday Sayings