Our Thanksgiving puns make light of what many consider to be the most American of all holidays. We get together with friends and family, we eat, watch some football, we eat some more, and maybe, just maybe get in a little post-meal exercise. Oh, and one more thing – the most important – we express our gratitude and give thanks for all of our blessings in life. One of those blessings is the ability to laugh at ourselves.

Thanksgiving Puns To Fill Your Plate

1. Getting the longer part of the wishbone is a snap.
2. Eat, Drink and Cranberry.
3. Leftovers are for quitters.
4. Don’t feed the turkey, it’s stuffed.
5. Gobble, Gobble, until you wobble, wobble.
6. It doesn’t get any butter than this.
7. It’s all fun and games until the pants don’t fit.
8. I’m all about the baste, about the baste.
9. The dinner doesn’t stop until I’ve tried everything.
10. Is Thanksgiving dinner over?
    You ain’t seen stuffing yet.
11. Buckle up for a great Thanksgiving, Pilgrim. (With apologies to John Wayne.)
12. Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, not your carbs.
13. What did the hipster say the day after Thanksgiving?
    I liked the leftovers before they were cool.

Funny Thanksgiving

1. Baby, I’m a maize at the way you feed me.
2. Get stuffed!
3. Already thinking about the leftovers.
4. Don’t forget to set your scales back 10 pounds tonight.
5. Don’t be a jerky, eat some turkey.
6. Eat hard, sleep harder.
7. Oh my gourd, I love Thanksgiving.
8. Talk Turkey To Me.
9. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin pi!
10. When fitness means, “Can I fitness whole piece of pie in my mouth at once.”
11. Popeye’s Thanksgiving thought: I yam what I yam.
12. Go ahead, bake my day!

Learn more about the inside story of Thanksgiving’s History.

Thanksgiving Puns About Turkey

13. Butterballin’ on a Budget. 
14. Clear eyes, full stomach, can’t lose.
15. You miss 100% of the leftovers you don’t eat.
16. What is the key to a great Thanksgiving meal?
    Tur-key! Duh.
17. Nobody puts gravy in the corner.
18. What does a turkey drink from?
    A gobble-t.
19. I’m giving up leftovers over time because I can’t quit cold turkey.
20. An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.

Thanksgiving Puns for Kids

1. What do you get when you cross a octopus with a turkey?
   Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
2. Where did the turkey learn to dance?
   At the Butterball.
3. Thanksgiving = Not a good day to be my pants.
4. What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
   The letter “g.”
5. Black Friday purchases need to take in account the weight you gained on Thursday.

More Puns for Kids.

Pilgrim Jokes

1. What did the pilgrim call his home boys?
   Pal-grims!
2. Why doidn’t pilgrims tell secretes in the corn field?
   The corn has ears.
3. What happened to the pilgrim who was wounded by the Indian?
   He had an arrow escape.
4. If pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
   Their age.
5. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
   Pilgrims

More Fun Thanksgiving Jokes and Humor.

Funny Thanksgiving Insights

7. My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
   Phyllis Diller 
8. On Thanksgiving Day, all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment – halftime.
9. Put your fat pants on…it’s time to eat.
10. There’s a place for all of God’s creatures – next to the potatoes and gravy.
11. What a bunch of turkeys!

Happy Thanksgiving Meme

Happy Turkey Day!

1. Call the girls, call the guys, we’re having peas, potatoes and pumpkin pies.
2. Give thanks, eat pie!
3. People dress up on Halloween, we dress turkeys on Thanksgiving.
4. The day after thanksgiving is the busiest day for plumbers.
5. Eat, drink and wear stretchy pants.
6. Don’t run a fowl of the cook!
7. Ah, the life of pie.
8. What do you call a rude turkey?
   A Jerkey!
9. What did the turkey say to the hunter?
   Quack, quack, quack.
10. Families are like peanut brittle, it takes a lot of sweetness to hold the nuts together.
11. What does a turkey with one leg say?
    Wobble-wobble.
12. Why were the fans tired of the turkeys’ baseball team?
    All they hit were fowl balls.

Thanksgiving Movie Puns Meme

Thanksgiving Movies

1. What’s eating Giblet Grape?
2. Bye Bye Birdie.
3. Poultry Fiction.
4. Some Like it Hot.
5. An American Turkey in the Oven.
6. Gobbler on the Roof.
7. To Kill a TurkeyBird.
8. Eat, Pray, Football.
9. The Right Stuffing.
10. The Dining King.
11. The Maltese Turkey.
12. Turkey Darko.
13. Fowl Play!
14. A Sweet Potato Named Desire.
15. Inglorious Basters.
16. Cradle 2 Gravy.
17. Leave it to Cleaver.
18. Beauty and the Feast.
19. Silence of the Yams.

Turkey Leftovers

1. When the turkey was told he would be surrounded by family for the holiday, it wasn’t necessarily a good thing.
2. How to diet on Thanksgiving: Don’t!
3. The thing I’m most thankful for: Elastic Waistbands.
4. Thanksgiving dinner: How people used to communicate before social media.
5. Dear Christmas, Wait your turn. C’mon man!
   Sincerely, Thanksgiving
6. I was thinner before Thanksgiving dinner.

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You’re on Thanksgiving Puns page.

Further Reading

Thanksgiving Quotes and Greetings

55 Great Gratitude Quotes

Thankful Sayings

Do you like puns? Check these out:

Birthday

Christmas

Coffee

Food including Pizza, Donuts and Cheese

Wine

If you’re looking for some funny happy birthday messages, memes and wishes, you’ve come to the right place. Check out our offering below and use one or more of the selections for birthday cards, social media wishes and greetings in person.

Funny Ways to Say Happy Birthday

Another year, another new place that aches.

A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.

So many candles, so little cake.

Welcome to the Middle Ages – Happy 50th!

Your birthday:  A day to celebrate that you didn’t die last year!

Call Out: Do you have any ideas for funny happy birthday messages? Let us know on the Contact page. Thanks.

Hilarious Birthday Wishes

Happy b’day! The only thing getting old is that phrase!

Wishing you joy and moves like Jagger on your birthday!

I hope that for every candle on your cake you get a wonderful surprise.

My heartfelt congratulations for being born a very, very, very long time ago.

On your birthday, let me wish you plenty of joy, I know you’re too old, but I still bought you a toy!

May the 40th be with you!

Thanks for being born today. It’s a great excuse for eating cake.

Wishing you a day as unforgettable as I am. Happy Birthday Dude!

Happy Age Advancement Day! You still look fab!

Messages for Him

You’re going to need a lot of help blowing out your candles this year. Maybe I can help you.

Earlier I wished that your entire wish comes true this year. Then I thought that if your all dreams come true this year. Then there will be no dream left for next year.

Here’s to taking 50 by the horns and making it your bitch…right after your afternoon nap! Happy Birthday!

Don’t worry about your home. I had already booked fire extinguisher, in case your bday cake catches fire. Love you my old friend.

To the b’day boy, you’re getting up there in age. Don’t spend too much time counting your candles or you’ll get dizzy.

Don’t worry about your age. You are still younger than your next birthday. Have a special Celebration.

You’re a lucky bday boy to have a girlfriend like me.

I hope you’re feeling gracious on your birthday, it’s better to be alive than 6 feet under. Happy Birthday to you.

Honey. I’ll stick around forever…or at least until you stop looking younger than your true age. Stay sexy!

Sayings for Her

It’s good to stay young, but with every birthday you are getting older. Don’t worry, just chill. Make your b’day special.

This message is free from extra fat, cholesterol, and additives. It is totally organic, but it is full of sugar. This message is as sweet as the person reading it.

Can you blow out the candles on the cake or should we call the fire department? HBD, my baby!

Did you remember that happy, funny, colorful day of young age? It always feels awesome when you can recall those memories.

Funny how someone can be all the best AND all the worst in my life. Have a great bday!

Congratulations on your 10,950th days alive. Happy 30th Birthday, Sweetie!

I got something special for you, which both of us love. Wooo! I ate it all on the way.

On your Bday I have a special wish. Smile while all your teeth are present! Congratulations!

Your birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar: Yung No Mo.

Funny Birthday Messages Meme

Happy Birthday Dad Funny

Here’s a fun fact—no, not that you’re getting older. Just that you’re starting to look even funnier. Happy b’day Dad!

To my dear Dad: I was going to buy something awesome for your birthday, but I didn’t seem to have enough money. So for your birthday this year, I’m going to give you a suggestion that you increase my pocket money for the next year.

My dearest Dad, I know today is your Bday, but it’s not a real holiday so I’m not too excited about it. Just kidding.

Here’s to you on your birthday, Dad, and every gray hair on your head. After all, I helped to contribute to those.

Congratulations on the 38rd anniversary of your 18th birthday! You are still so young, Dad.

No matter what life throws at you Dad, at least you don’t have ugly children. HBD!

Life doesn’t come with a toolkit, but it comes with a Dad. Have a great bday!

You’ve always been my favorite no fee ATM. A special birthday wish to you Dad!

Happy birthday to a father who has the best daughter in the world.

HBD Meme

Husband Funny Happy Birthday Messages

I am the best thing that ever happened to you. Happy birthday dear!

HBD. Don’t think of it as getting older. Think of it as getting closer to qualifying for amazing senior discounts.

Happy Bday to one of the few people I can actually tolerate on a daily basis.

For some reason, when I go birthday shopping for you, I end up finding a lot more gifts for myself. Your birthdays are really expensive, but you’re worth it.

I hope you celebrate your birthday the way you came into this world: naked and screaming.

Dear hubby, you define my past and my future. And as for the present, I could find nothing for you. So I bought one for myself.

You’ve never lost your sense of wonder,
You wonder where your keys are,
You wonder where your glasses are,
And, you wonder where your shoes are,
You wonder where your mind is,
Have a wonderful bday.

Let’s celebrate your birthday and stop worrying about your age. It’s too late.

Happy birthday from one of the most amazing and wonderful women you know!

Tip: These funny happy birthday messages make great captions on Facebook and Instagram.

Birthday = Fun! Meme

Best Friend Greetings

May you live to be old and toothless.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Candles are years Happy Birthday to you!

You’re older than you’ve been. But look on the bright side, you’re younger now than you’ll ever be!

It’s your b’day! Which means it’s a great excuse to make some bad decisions, let’s party it up!

Forget the past, forget the future and please forget the present too as I did forget to get you one. But happy birthday, dear.

Best friends are the friends who keep your embarrassing secrets private. Thank you for always keeping my less than proud moments under wraps. Wishing a great birthday to my best friend.

May your birthday be amazingly awesome and your hangover be mercifully minor.

Happy Bday dear friend. A friend in need is a friend in deed; I’m in need of your car, to have it as mine, can you give it to me as a mark of being a friend indeed?

The best gift is the gift of friendship. So, that is what I got you for your birthday! Don’t worry. I got you a real present too.

Another year closer to getting those senior citizen seats on buses! HBD!

–Mike O’Halloran

In addition to being a curator of quotes, Mike is an author, inventor, and entrepreneur. He worked as president of Magnetic Poetry, creators of the ubiquitous refrigerator magnets folks use to create verse in their kitchens. Oh, and he’s enjoyed a lot of birthdays.

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You’re on Funny Happy Birthday Messages page.

Etcetera

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Birthday Puns

21st Birthday Sayings

Birthday Greetings

Wishes on your Birthday

Sister

Cousin

Mom

Birthday Blessings

Everyone needs uplifting quotes in their life to get through difficult situations. Whether you are a child or an adult, everyone comes across new challenges every day of their life. By focusing on the qualities of positivity, courage, and strength to face and overcome them, you’ll emerge the winner. Your own personal development means a lot in life. Being positive encourages and inspires you to things that were impossible for you yesterday. Keep your eye on the prize.

Best Uplifting Quotes

• In a gentle way, you can shake the world.
  Mahatma Gandhi
• Each day provides its own gifts.
  Marcus Aurelius
• If you are working on something that you really care about, you don’t have to be pushed. The vision pulls you.
  Steve Jobs
• There are no limits to what you can accomplish, except the limits you place on your own thinking.
  Brian Tracy
• Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.
  Dale Carnegie
• A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success.
  Unknown
• When life knocks you down, try to land on your back. Because if you can look up, you can get up.
  Les Brown
• Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.
  Winston Churchill

Motivational For Women

• You are more powerful than you know; you are beautiful just as you are.
  Melissa Etheridge
• When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another.
  Helen Keller
• A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture, and transform.
  Diane Mariechild
• Don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself. Keep fighting for your dreams.
  Gabby Douglas
• Any woman who understands the problems of running a home will be nearer to understanding the problems of running a country.
  Margaret Thatcher
• The most effective way to do it, is to do it.
  Amelia Earhart
• If you don’t like being a doormat then get off the floor.
  Al Anon
• The fastest way to change society is to mobilize the women of the world.
  Charles Malik

Check out Maya Angelou Quotes.

Positive Uplifting Quotations

• Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose.
  Lyndon B. Johnson
• In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision.
  Dalai Lama
• What you lack in talent can be made up with desire, hustle and giving 110% all the time.
  Don Zimmer
• The thing that lies at the foundation of positive change, the way I see it, is service to a fellow human being.
  Lee Lacocca
• Imagine your life is perfect in every respect; what would it look like?
  Brian Tracy
• Today’s accomplishments were yesterday’s impossibilities.
  Robert H. Schuller
• Personal development is the conscious choice to improve one’s life to become a better person and to grow as an individual.
  Unknown

You Are More Powerful Than You Know Quote Meme

Funny Positive Sayings

• Watching a person who successfully loses fifty pounds and changes her life is more inspirational than listening to a fitness coach with a perfect body.
  Martin Meadows
• Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
  Tom Lehrer
• If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
  George Carlin
• Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished – If you’re alive it isn’t.
  Richard Bach
• If you hang out with chickens, you’re going to cluck and if you hang out with eagles, you’re going to fly.
  Steve Maraboli
• I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms.
  Michael Scott
• Think like a proton. Always positive.
  Unknown

Earl Nightingale Quotes

• A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can’t go anywhere till you change it.
• All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination.
• We can let circumstances rule us, or we can take charge and rule our lives from within.
• Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become reality.
• We become what we think about most of the time, and that’s the strangest secret.
• To give oneself is the only way of becoming oneself.
• It is in the expectations of happiness that much of happiness is found. And it takes courage to expect happiness.

Bible Quotations

• Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
  Thessalonians 5:11
• The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.
  Proverbs 18:10
• I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
  Philippians 4:13
• Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.
  Joshua 1:9
• Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
  Matthew 11:28
• Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.
  Psalm 31:24

Encouraging Quotations

• Everything you need to accomplish your goals is already in you.
  Unknown
• Once you choose hope, anything’s possible.
  Christopher Reeve
• Press on – nothing can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
  Calvin Coolidge
• Most great people have attained their greatest success one step beyond their greatest failure.
  Napoleon Hill

Mother Teresa Positive Quotes

• Peace begins with a smile.
• Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.
• Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
• Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.
• There are no great things, only small things with great love.

The World is Full of Magical Things Meme

Short, Positive Quotes

• Do what you can with all you have, wherever you are.
  Theodore Roosevelt
• A No. 2 pencil and a dream can take you anywhere.
  Joyce Meyer
• Light tomorrow with today.
  Elizabeth Barrett Browning
• There are no traffic jams along the extra mile.
  Roger Staubach
• Only he who attempts the absurd is capable of achieving the impossible.
  Miguel de Unamuno
• The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.
  Confucius
• I believe that if one always looked at the skies, one would end up with wings.
  Gustave Flaubert
• I dwell in possibility.
  Emily Dickinson
• If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more.
  Oprah Winfrey

Tip: Use these motivational quotes by posting on a bulletin board or on a note pad on your desk as a daily reminder to stay postive.

Norman Vincent Peale Quotations

A Dream Meme (Hey, that rhymes!)

Inspirational and Motivational Quotes

• It is always the simple that produces the marvelous.
  Amelia Barr
• Limit your always’ and your never’s.
  Amy Poehler
• The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
  Bertrand Russell
• A champion is defined not by their wins but by how they can recover when they fall.
  Serena Williams
• Let us make our future now, and let us make our dreams tomorrow’s reality.
  Malala Yousafzai
• Each person must live their life as a model for others.
  Rosa Parks
• Motivation comes from working on things we care about.
  Sheryl Sandberg
• Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.
  E. E. Cummings
• No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.
  Robin Williams

Will Rogers Uplifting Quotes

• Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
• Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

  Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
• Never miss a good chance to shut up.
• Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.

###

Etcetera

You’re on uplifting quotes page.

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55 Success Quotations

Hit your stride with these dad jokes. They’re too good not to share! Sometimes, fathers can say the darndest things. But, in the big picture, there’s still something really comforting about their type of corny humor. Grimace if needed, groan if you can’t keep it inside, but ultimately you probably love the effort. Look, he’s trying to make you smile even if he fails 90% of the time.

Enjoy these. You’re certain to enjoy a few chuckles (and groans) by the time you get to the end.

Best Dad Jokes

Dad jokes require a certain level of finesse, but these jokes roll off the tongue with little effort. After all, they combine a level of wordplay and pun mastery that few people can pull off, so enjoy!

Funny Dad Jokes

• Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks?
  Mini-soda.
• Why did the stadium get hot after the game?
  All of the fans left.
• What did the dad say when his son asked if he got a haircut?
  He said, no I got them all cut.
• What happened when the boy asked if his dad could you put his shoes on?
  He said, no, he doesn’t think they’ll fit him.
• Why did the dad tell his family to avoid the sushi?
  Because he said that it was a little fishy.

Cheesy

• Want to hear a joke about paper?
  Nevermind, I won’t tell it because it’s just tearable.
• Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
  It has really great food, but there’s no atmosphere.
• Why did the cookie cry?
  Because his father was a wafer so long.
• How do hair stylists speed up their job?
  They take short cuts.
• What is a boxer’s favorite drink?
  Punch.

More Cheesy Jokes.

Dad Jokes Meme

Bad Dad Jokes

• What is a dad’s favorite thing to eat at the movies?
  Popcorn.
• Why couldn’t the kid stop reading the book about anti-gravity?
  Because he said that it was impossible to put down.
• What’s the opposite of irony?
  Wrinkly.
• What did the man say in the elevator about the operator?
  This job really has its ups and downs.
• Why did the man stop his origami business.
  Because it folded.
• Why did the man hate the movie about the earthquake?
  Because it had so many faults.
• What did the girl say when she dropped her piece of gum on the floor?
  I guess it wasn’t mint to be.
• Why didn’t the comedian share his chemistry joke?
  Because he was afraid he wouldn’t get a reaction.
• Why don’t fathers wear sunglasses?
  Because they only wear dad glasses.

Corny Jokes Meme

Corny Jokes

• What kind of shoes does a thief wear?
  Sneakers.
• What did the bartender say to the jumper cable at the bar?
  I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.
• What did the woman leave the seafood disco last week?
  Because she pulled a mussel.
• Where can you get chicken broth in bulk?
  The stock market.
• What do you call a man with no nose and no body?
  Nobody nose.
• What did the man say about his sick cat?
  He doesn’t think it’s feline well.
• Why do we need geometry?
  Because life is pointless without it.
• How can you tell that a train just went by?
  It leaves its tracks.

Great, Corny Jokes.  Is that an oxymoron?

Good Jokes

• Why couldn’t the woman ever lose weight?
  Because she said it keeps finding her.
• Why is the athlete playing soccer?
  Because he’s just doing it for kicks.
• Why did the man stop working his job at a shoe recycling shop?
  Because it was sole destroying.
• Where did the one-legged waitress work?
  At IHOP.
• What happened when the two antennas got married?
  They had a great wedding and reception.
• Why didn’t the man get any camouflage trousers the other day?
  Because he couldn’t find any.
• What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
  A waist of time.
• Why don’t honest people need beds?
  They don’t lie.
• What did the boat say to the pier?
  What’s up, dock?
• Why did the cucumber call 911?
  It was in a pickle.

Terrible Jokes

• What did the mountain climber name his son?
  Cliff.
• What happened when the boy asked his dad to make him a sandwich?
  His dad said, poof, now you’re a sandwich.
• How do you make a steak pun?
  Medium well done.
• Why is milk the fastest liquid on earth?
  It’s pasteurized before you even see it.
• Why don’t ants ever get sick?
  Because they have little anty-bodies.
• What do you call a poppa candy?
  A sugar daddy.
• What did the light bulb say to its mother?
  I wuv you watts and watts.

Punny Jokes

• How much did the man charge for his batteries today?
  Nothing, they were free of charge.
• How many apples grow on a tree?
  All of them.
• What did the painter say to the wall?
  Don’t worry, I got you covered.
• What do you get when you cross a mouse with a squid?
  An eektopus.
• How does a penguin build its house?
  Igloos it together.
• What is a good password that’s eight characters long?
  Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
• What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland?
  The flag is a big plus.
• What did daddy spider say to baby spider?
  You spend too much time on the web.

One-Liner Jokes

• If you were a vegetable you’d be a cute-cumber.
• I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.
• Every night at 11:11, I make a wish that someone will come fix my broken clock.
• I’m not indecisive, unless you want me to be.
• I once walked in on my parents while they were in bed. But they were asleep, so I left.
• I want to see something with the clothed eye.
• Pennies are a dime a dozen.
• I don’t like relationships. I get seasick.
• From my point of view, all I can see is a point.
• I once saw a court stenographer transcribe a mime’s testimony.
• I once painted a self-portrait of someone else.
• I’m just itching to tell you about my allergies.
• On the sunny side of the street, it’s a little bit warmer.
• I once found a needle beside a haystack.

###

Etcetera

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Father’s Day Quotes

Good morning messages to your family and friends start the day off right. A day started well, ends well. Attitude can make all the difference, and the person’s attitude you need to be most concerned about is your own.

Wishes for a Good Morning

The one rule for wishing someone a great day – and this is not to be broken – you must say it with a smile on your face.

For Him

• To the guy whose hugs make my days sweeter and kisses make my life brighter.
• I love waking up in your arms each day. It’s a fine Sunday morning, my handsome man. I wish you a beautiful day.
• A handsome guy like you is a dream for most girls, but you are my reality and the person I love. Have a great day, babe.
• Being yours makes every morning a very great morning. Good day, my love. Have an awesome day today. I can’t wait to see you.
• Hello, handsome! I love the smell of fresh coffee in the morning; it’s a reminder that I have another day to spend with you.
• My favorite times of the day are the mornings, like this morning, when I wake up to you, and when I know I will see you again tonight.
• I just want to tell you how much I appreciate you each and every day.
• This Sunday morning would be better if I were there with you, but I am so glad you are in my life. Have a beautiful day!

Check out: Cute boyfriend messages

For Her

• That wonderful bird, singing near your window, is my companion, who agreed to help me to express my feelings for you.
• Every morning the sun makes a compliment to your beauty and illuminates your room and fills it with warmth.
• Good morning baby. I just wanted to say that your beautiful smile keeps me happy, your chirpy voice keeps me motivated, your tender touch keeps me active, and all I want is you with me.
• Early in the morning, the warm sunshine, the cold morning breeze, the chirping of birds everything reminds me of you…my sweet angel. Thanks for being there with me, always. Good morning dear.
• On Monday mornings, you are busy, but especially delicate and fragile. All I want is to keep you in my arms and never let you go.
• May this lovely Sunday morning brings a new fragrance of romance in your life and fills your heart with love.
• As sun smiles on you today, your luck may smile too today. Good morning and walk forward to your lucky day!

For Friends

• Now, I cannot guarantee that you will have an awesome day but I can guarantee that you will be in the loving company of friends like me.
• Having morning coffee…watching sunrise in the morning brings me a lot of happiness but there is lack of a little thing; you are not here with me.
• As you read these words, know that right at this moment there is someone who is thinking of you and cares about you my friend.
• My friend, may you have a day as bright as your smiles and as sweet as your soul this Thursday morning.

Good Morning Love

• Now that such a sweet person like you has read this message, I won’t need to put sugar in my coffee.
• The sun is up, the skies are blue, good morning my love I’ll be thinking about you.
• You are the reason I have learned that not all days are going to be same. Staying still won’t do any good, but moving on would. Have a motivating morning!
• Loving you is like a new day. It’s fresh and true.
• This Sunday morning means nothing without, so I’m happy to say that you’re apart of my life.
• If you’re not too busy this Sunday morning, please take some time to look yourself in the mirror and appreciate all that you are.
• Happy Tuesday! Okay, so it may not Friday yet, but I am so happy you are alive and all mine.
• The sun lights up the day, but you light up my life.
• Happy Monday baby. I just wanted you to let you know that you are always on my mind. Have a great day!

Good Morning Messages Meme

Good Morning Text

• Remember that today is your day and no matter what happens you are truly an amazing part of my life.
• Tell yourself today will be great, and if you really believe, it really will be!
• Mondays may be hard, but remember that someone loves you.
• This Saturday, I just want to snuggle with you the whole day long. Say you will stay?
• I hope today brings plenty of joy and happiness, because no one loves you more than me.

Tip: Good morning messages sent as texts communicate to the recipient how much you care about them.

Good Morning Wishes

• Every morning is special and you will not get them again. Enjoy the day!
• Dreaming big is great but sleeping big is not. So, get up and get on with it (at your own leisurely pace).
• You are the first thing to enter my mind in the morning and the last thing to leave my heart at night. Have a wonderful day!
• Everyday may not be great, but there is something great in every day.

Morning Quotes

• When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.
  Marcus Aurelius
• Good morning is not just a word, it’s an action and a belief to live the entire day well. Morning is the time when you set the tone for the rest of the day. Set it right!
  Fain Blake
• Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.
  Lemony Snicket
• Every morning I jump out of bed and step on a landmine. The landmine is me. After the explosion, I spent the rest of the day putting the pieces together.
  Ray Bradbury
• Up at dawn, the dewy freshness of the hour, the morning rapture of the birds, the daily miracle of sunrise, set her heart in tune, and gave her Nature’s most healing balm.
  Louisa May Alcott

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Etcetera

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Sometimes simply reading a few well-chosen words — quotes about life from the famous and the not-so-famous — can be enough to set you on the path to a more rewarding life. At some level, you may already know what these quotes express. But as the French philosopher Michel de Montaigne said, “I quote others in order the better to express my own self.” Because these individuals expressed themselves so eloquently, they motivate us to put their thoughts into action and enrich our lives.

A Happier You (in 17 easy-to-digest sound bites)

Those quoted here include statesmen, philosophers, and celebrities who have met life’s challenges successfully. They learned a lot along the way and know whereof they speak. So here is a collection of some of their very best crystallized thinking. You’ll find proverbs that lead you to the proverbial “good life,” maxims to help you maximize your potential. Stay mindful of these 17 pearls of wisdom in your daily life and the uptick in your personal happiness is bound to be notable — and quotable.

1.) “You are not in charge of the universe; you are in charge of yourself.”

— Arnold Bennett

Yep, the world is crazy sometimes. Learn to live with it. Tomorrow it may rain, and you can’t stop it. But you can carry an umbrella and stay dry. Similarly, other people may rain on your parade. But when their actions seem unkind, unfair, or unfathomable, just remember those other people are trying to act in their own best interests, not yours. If you can’t control them, don’t wallow in your frustration. Focus on what you can control: yourself. Forego the moaning and groaning during the day and you’ll do less tossing and turning at night. Try to operate under your own umbrella of positivity. Odds are you’ll come out ahead in the long run. 

2.) “Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for old age.”

— Booth Tarkington

Taking this little gem to heart represents a win-win: It increases your happiness quotient in the present and in the future. When something good happens, savor it. Let’s say you get a promotion. That doesn’t happen every day. So go out and celebrate it. Do something wild. And guess what? Fifty years from now, when you’re old and gray, chances are you’re going to remember that promotion largely because of the memorable celebration that followed it. The good times may not represent the lion’s share of your life in terms of days or weeks or years, but someday those good times just might make up the lion’s share of your memories.

3.) “The world is like a mirror: frown at it and it frowns at you; smile, and it smiles too.”

— Herbert Samuel

When you’re happy, healthy, and have someone to share your life with, you look up at the moon and the stars and it all looks wonderful to you. Then, one day life deals you some harsh blows, and what happens? Those same stars suddenly appear to you as jumbled specks in a vast, cold, empty universe. Obviously, the universe hasn’t changed — you have. What’s important to remember is, once you get yourself back on track, order will return to the universe as well. Just because your life is temporarily out of whack, don’t get fooled into thinking life itself is hopeless.

4.) “You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips.”

— Oliver Goldsmith

Think of your life as a series of building blocks. You are building a monument to the kind of person you are. If you build it right, others are going to look at it in awe. 

5.) “When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.”

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Let’s suppose you want to be a lawyer. Then you flunk out of law school. You’re devastated. To forget your troubles, you go to a club where your friend’s up-and-coming band is playing. Your friend says his band is looking for a manager. You take the job, discover you love the music business, and realize you’d have been miserable as a lawyer. Bad breaks turn out to be lucky breaks more often than you think.

6.) “Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

— Dr. Seuss

This advice is oftentimes easier said than done. Subjects like politics, religion, and sexual orientation can be minefields. If you constantly speak your mind, you may wind up with fewer friends — but you’ll have fewer ulcers. And even those ex-friends of yours are probably going to admire you for laying all your cards on the table. They’ll probably envy your courage, your passion, and your honesty. Plus you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that the friends who remain appreciate the real you.

7.) “Always imitate the behavior of the winners when you lose.”

— George Meredith

If you lose a hard-fought battle but manage to show grace and dignity in defeat, you’ve actually won — because the ability to show that kind of sportsmanship after a crushing loss may demand just as much talent and determination as victory itself. I once coached a group of college students in a competition where they emerged victorious against another university. When the star of our team walked up and extended her hand for a handshake with the captain of the losing team, the captain refused the handshake and stalked off in a huff. At that moment, she wasn’t simply the captain of the losing team — she was a loser, period.

8.) “Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

— Eleanor Roosevelt

Sometimes we all feel intimidated when we cross paths with someone who speaks better, acts cooler, and dresses nicer than we do. When that happens, resist the temptation to become tongue-tied and cower in a corner. The other person is human, just like you. Consider this: They might be so insecure that they feel compelled to wear designer clothes and bombard you with facts about the one subject they know inside and out. Make a point to act like the other person’s equal. You’ll soon find yourself on an equal footing with them — even if their feet happen to be walking in Gucci boots. 

9.) “Overcome the notion that you must be regular. It robs you of the chance to be extraordinary.”

— Uta Hagen

Remember that old Apple commercial, “Here’s to the crazy ones”? It celebrated geniuses like Einstein and Martin Luther King, Jr., declaring that, “the people who are crazy enough to change the world are the ones who do.” OK, maybe you won’t come up with a Theory of Relativity or an “I Have a Dream” speech. Maybe you won’t change the world. But if you’re not afraid to show those around you what makes you special, you might change someone’s life for the better.

10.) “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

— Buddha

Does that sound like an exaggeration? Not so much. If you try to hide your anger, your antagonist will think they’ve won (they got their way and you’re not even mad). If you give them the silent treatment, they may revel in the fact that you’re still upset. Either way, you’re going to be miserable and they’re going to be gloating. So what do you do? Without exploding — but as forcefully as possible — let your anger out. Explain why you feel as you do. At some level, they’re likely to feel some remorse. In any event, once you’ve spit out “the poison,” you’ll be able to move on.

Tip: These quotes about life make great inspirational messages to place by your desk, on the fridge or on a bulletin board.

11.) “Dreams without goals remain dreams.”

— Denzel Washington

Children dream about becoming a cowboy or a ballerina. They haven’t thought about how they’re going to get there, but that’s okay — they’re children. For adults, dreams are not sufficient. You have to turn the dreams into reality, one step at a time. The reality is never as easy or as perfect as the dream. To achieve it, you need a plan of action. Where do you want to end up? What are you willing to give up in order to get there? How much time and money will it take? And how much do you want it? — that may be the most important question of all, because the answer will likely determine whether or not you get there.

12.) “Once a story’s told, it can’t help but grow old.”

— Boz Skaggs

You break up with someone, and you just know you’ll never be able to stop thinking about them. You keep thinking about them and thinking about them. And that’s healthy — because it means eventually another thought will inevitably occur to you: I’m sick of thinking about this person. I’m all thought out about them. I need to think about something else. No matter what misfortunes befall you, know this: Time is on your side.

13.) “Success consists in going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”

— Winston Churchill

Churchill was amazingly resilient, taking a number of long detours along the road to success. Overseeing a disastrous military campaign in World War I, he resigned from the British government and was out of office in the 1930s, when he became a leading critic off the government’s appeasement of Nazi Germany. Appointed Prime Minister in 1940, Churchill led the nation to victory in 1945. Despite his accomplishments, he was replaced as Prime Minister in 1945. Undeterred, he returned to power, enjoying considerable success in the 1950s. So if you suffer setbacks — on the office battlefield or on the homefront — channel Churchill.

14.) “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

— Wayne Gretzky

In the course of a legendary career, Wayne Gretzky scored 1072 goals, more than any other hockey player before or since. No doubt he missed more than he made, but if he had stopped to worry each time about whether the puck was going into the net, he never would have broken all those records. Don’t be afraid to make gutsy decisions and take reasonable risks. Otherwise you’ll never know if you’d have succeeded. And if you don’t even make the attempt, you’ve already failed.

15.) “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”

— Maya Angelou

Life can start to feel like a life sentence when each day goes along on a monotonous even keel, exactly like the day before it. It’s the highs and lows that make life interesting. Sooner or later the lows find all of us — that’s why we have to make the effort to find the highs. Seek out people who challenge or inspire you. Ride a mule to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Find the thing that scares you, thrills you, energizes you — and shock yourself by making it your thing.

16.) “It is almost as great a misfortune to be of use to everybody as to be of use to nobody.”

— Baltasar Gracian

If you live entirely for others, you’ll use yourself up and cease to be of any use to anyone. Even Mother Teresa undoubtedly had days when she just had to get away from it all and chill.

17.) “All things in the world are impermanent. They have the nature to rise and pass away. To be in harmony with this truth brings true happiness.”

—Buddhist chant

Assuming you survive beyond youth, you’re almost certain to experience serious loss in your life. Family, friends, home, work — everything is in a constant state of flux. There’s no way to avoid loss, so anticipate it before it happens. Accept it when it happens. And move on after it happens. When one door closes, another one opens. But all things must eventually end. As the old Persian adage states, “This too shall pass.” And much as I hate to admit it, that’s even true of this article! 

–Art Novak

Art Novak is an Emmy-winning writer, novelist, and Professor Emeritus at Savannah College of Art and Design. artnovakauthor.com

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These jealousy quotes will help you deal with the sharp pangs of feeling jealous. Everyone has had that feeling when you wish you had something that a friend or family member has and you don’t. Recognizing the feeling of envy is the first step. These insights from authors, poets and notables will help you handle yourself.

Quotes about Jealousy

1. Jealousy is the jaundice of the soul.
   John Dryden
2. The few who do are the envy of the many who only watch.
   Jim Rohn
3. The jealous are possessed by a mad devil and a dull spirit at the same time.
   Johann Kaspar Lavater
4. Our envy of others devours us most of all.
   Alexander Solzhenitsyn
5. You can be the moon and still be jealous of the stars.
   Gary Allan
6. Men are so constituted that every one undertakes what he sees another successful in, whether he has aptitude for it or not.
   Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
7. Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness.
   Martin Luther King, Jr.
8. Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind.
   Buddha

Jealousy Image

Funny Jealousy Quotes

1. Plain women are always jealous of their husbands. Beautiful women never are. They are always so occupied with being jealous of other women’s husbands.
   Oscar Wilde
2. I love when people stare me down. It’s like they have nothing better to do, but it makes me feel better and I look that damn good.
   Unknown
3. I’ve never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished the fifth grade a year before I did.
   Jeff Foxworthy
4. To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.
   Elbert Hubbard
5. If you are going to make a rumor about me, at least, make a new one that I have never heard of before.
   Unknown
6. My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
   Rodney Dangerfield
7. I love my silly haters because they don’t know how to shut up.
   Unknown
8. More men die of jealousy than of cancer.
   Joseph P. Kennedy
9. Thank you, my haters, you make me gorgeous, awesome, successful and happy at the same time.
   Unknown
10. The venom clamors of a jealous woman poison more deadly than a mad dog’s tooth.
    William Shakespeare
11. If bitterness wants to get into the act, I offer it a cookie or a gumdrop.
    James Broughton

Envy Meme

Green With Envy

1. Many times, you are the single most significant and glorious thing that has ever happened in the lives of some people; they sit around and talk about you over and over again throughout the years while you are out there living your life, every step that you take and every kiss that you make having absolutely nothing to do with them, at all.
   C. JoyBell C.
2. The thermometer of success is merely the jealousy of the malcontents.
   Salvador Dali
3. Jealousy is indeed a poor medium to secure love, but it is a secure medium to destroy one’s self-respect.
   Emma Goldman
4. You can only be jealous of someone who has something you think you ought to have yourself.
   Margaret Atwood
5. Our envy always lasts longer than the happiness of those we envy.
   Francois de la Rochefoucauld
6. Be warned: A person content to sit with you and criticize others will speak critically of you out of earshot.
   Richelle E. Goodrich

Bitterness

1. When haters hate, I celebrate.
   Unknown
2. You are jealous because you are unaware that everything you need is inside you.
   Peter Deunov
3. Greatness inspires envy, envy engenders spite, spite spawns lies.
   J. K. Rowling
4. Jealousy is never satisfied with anything short of an omniscience that would detect the subtlest fold of the heart.
   George Eliot
5. Don’t be too fast to highlight the weaknesses of other people. That is the quickest way of exposing your own weaknesses.
   Israelmore Ayivor
6. A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
   Robert A. Heinlein
7. The envious man grows lean at the success of his neighbor.
   Horace

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Jealous In Relationships

1. Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive.
   Havelock Ellis
2. Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition.
   Robert A. Heinlein
3. Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
   Josh Billings
4. Jealousy would be far less torturous if we understood that love is a passion entirely unrelated to our merits.
   Paul Eldridge
5. Love has the power to confront any crises in a relationship. But we shouldn’t overdo it by giving in to extreme suspicion and jealousy.
   Unknown
6. Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening.
   Maya Angelou
7. I plan to keep what belongs to me. That may sound selfish, but so what. I know when I have something good and that good is you. You’re mine. All mine. And I’m keeping you. Always.
   Unknown

Spiteful Feelings

1. Bitterness imprisons life; love releases it. Bitterness paralyzes life; love empowers it. Bitterness sours life; love sweetens it. Bitterness sickens life; love heals it. Bitterness blinds life; love anoints its eyes.
   Harry Emerson Fosdick
2. Love shouldn’t be about jealousy or anything like that. It should be about commitment and being able to trust that person.
   Aaron Carter
3. In jealousy, there is more of self-love than love.
   François de La Rochefoucauld
4. There is no greater glory than love, nor any greater punishment than jealousy.
   Lope de Vega

Synonyms

Jealousy quotes synonyms: envy, spite, resentfulness, resentment and insecurity.

Envy

1. The envious die not once, but as oft as the envied win applause.
   Baltasar Gracin
2. Envy is like a fly that passes all the body’s sounder parts, and dwells upon the sores.
   Arthur Chapman
3. The truest mark of being born with great qualities, is being born without envy.
   François de La Rochefoucauld
4. It is never wise to seek or wish for another’s misfortune. If malice or envy were tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a boomerang.
   Charley Reese
5. Envy is ever joined with the comparing of a man’s self; and where there is no comparison, no envy.
   Francis Bacon
6. Never trust anyone who wants what you’ve got. Friend or no, envy is an overwhelming emotion.
   Eubie Blake
7. The envious will die, but envy never.
   Moliere
8. Envy is the art of counting the other fellow’s blessings instead of your own.
   Harold Coffin
9. Enemies are always born in your bloodlines. When in doubt always turn your head into your bloodlines. You will definitely find a solution to your problem.
   Unknown
10. When the root is bitterness, imagine what the fruit might be.
    Woodrow Kroll
11. Envy is thin because it bites but never eats.
    Spanish Proverb
12. Never waste your time with negative haters. The best way to handle that type of person is smiling. It annoys them more and makes you a winner.
    Unknown
13. Envy is the coward side of Hate, And all her ways are bleak and desolate.
    Henry Abbey

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