Sharing funny love quotes with your partner can be romantic and add more spice to your relationship. No relationship can last long without having a dose of humor and fun every now and then. Humor has the power to bring a couple closer and provide a new and different perspective about each other.
You may be married or just starting to see each other, it is always great to share funny love quotes every now and then. You will be amazed how your words can have a magical effect on your partner and your relationship.
Give them a reason to laugh together and your bond will become stronger. Here are some funny and humorous love quotes for everyone to spend some great time together laughing and building stronger relationships.
Funny Quotes About Love
In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit or getting parked in the wrong place.
The sincerest love is the love of food.
George Bernard Shaw
Where love is the case, the doctor is an ass.
Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
I can’t make you love me. But I can fill my pantry with your favorite snacks and offer you a weekend stipend of $75.
Love is like a Rhino, short-sighted, but always willing to find a way.
Don’t make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbors ain’t.
We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.
Laugh Out Loud Quotes on Love
I went home with this French guy ’cause he said something adorable, like, ‘I have an apartment.’
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
If you text “I love you” to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is – they don’t love you back.
My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.
I was on a date with this really hot model. Well, it wasn’t really a date date. We just ate dinner and saw a movie. Then the plane landed.
Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
Funny Love Sayings
Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.
My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.
If you love them in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love them at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love.
Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby — awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.
Amusing Quotes on Love and Marriage
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
The happiest marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
Funny Love Advise
The four most important words in any marriage. I’ll do the dishes.
Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry out the trash.
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers.
Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.
Funny I Love You Quotes
I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible. But I want to spend every irritating minute with you.
I love you more than a herd of wildebeest love stampeding Mufasa!
You are my favorite pain in the ass!
My favorite part of you is the better half; Me!
I love you more than pizza!
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Humorous Sayings for Him
A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.
The bravest thing that men do
The bravest thing that men do is love women.
I don’t have a boyfriend right now. I’m looking for anyone with a job that I don’t have to support.
Anna Nicole Smith
Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.
Check out Best I Love You Quotes
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
The great question, which I have not been able to answer is: what does a woman want?
LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder… It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.
Women love a self-confident bald man.
Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman.
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in.
Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you.
What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.
Really Funny Love Quotes
Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.
Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.
Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator.
Helen Gurley Brown
Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else.
Love is sharing your popcorn.
Charles Schultz (Simple, funny love quotes are the best)
If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
Check out: I love you more than messages.
It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
Francois De La Rochefoucauld
If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something.
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.
Tip: These funny love quotes make great captions for photos on social media like Facebook and Instagram.
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Quotations about Relationships
Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.
Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools.
A kiss is a rosy dot over the ‘I’ of loving.
Cerano de Bergerac
What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.
My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met.
Love and Devotion
Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.
Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.
Love, at first sight, is possible, but it pays to take a second look.
True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing.
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.
The only true love is love at first sight; second sight dispels it.
Israel Zangwill quotes
Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings.
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I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.
An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
Romance is the icing, but love is the cake.
Romantic love is a mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one.
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.
Charles M. Schulz
Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.
I love you like a fat kid loves cake.
To keep your marriage brimming; With love in the loving cup… Whenever you’re wrong admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up.
There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and flattens the stomach.
When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there’s a reason.
Molly McGee – From Fibber McGee and Molly fame
Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.
By Liz Adams
Liz writes about relationships, pop culture, and travel.
You’re on our Funny Love Quotes page.
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