Funny Love Quotes to make you laugh
Sharing funny love quotes with your partner can be romantic and add more spice to your relationship. No relationship can last long without having a dose of humor and fun every now and then.
Humor has the power to bring a couple closer and provide a new and different perspective about each other.
You may be married or just starting to see each other; it is always great to share funny love quotes every now and then. You will be amazed how your words can have a magical effect on your partner and your relationship.
Give them a reason to laugh together, and your bond will strengthen. Here are some funny and humorous love quotes for everyone to spend some great time together, laughing and building stronger relationships.
Funny Quotes About Love
In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit or getting parked in the wrong place.
Helen Rowland
The sincerest love is the love of food.
George Bernard Shaw
Where love is the case, the doctor is an ass.
English Proverb
Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
Jules Renard
I can’t make you love me. But I can fill my pantry with your favorite snacks and offer you a weekend stipend of $75.
Rob Delaney
Love is like a Rhino, short-sighted but always willing to find a way.
Unknown
Don’t make love by the garden gate, love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t.
Unknown
We are all a little weird, and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.
Dr. Seuss
Laugh Out Loud Quotes on Love
I went home with this French guy ’cause he said something adorable, like, ‘I have an apartment.’
Amy Schumer
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
Steve Martin
The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
Milton Berle
If you text “I love you” to a person, and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is – they don’t love you back.
Chelsea Peretti
My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.
Gary Shandling
I was on a date with this really hot model. Well, it wasn’t really a date date. We just ate dinner and saw a movie. Then the plane landed.
Dave Attell
Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
Pauline Thomason
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
Joan Rivers
Funny Love Sayings
Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.
Chelsea Handler
My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.
Garry Shandling
If you love them in the morning with their eyes full of crust, if you love them at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love.
Miles Davis
Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby — awkwardly and often with a great deal of mess.
Lemony Snicket
I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.
Steven Wright
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.
Judith Viorst
Amusing Quotes on Love and Marriage
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right.
Richard Pryor
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Henry Youngman
The happiest marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge
By all means, marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
Socrates
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
Jackie Mason
Funny Love Advise
The four most important words in any marriage. I’ll do the dishes.
Unknown
Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three meals a day and remembering to carry out the trash.
Joyce Brothers
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers.
Richard Pryor
Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Phyllis Diller
Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.
Will Ferrell
Funny I Love You Quotes
I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible. But I want to spend every irritating minute with you.
Unknown
I love you more than a herd of wildebeest love stampeding Mufasa!
Unknown
You are my favorite pain in the ass!
Unknown
My favorite part of you is the better half; Me!
Unknown
I love you more than pizza!
Unknown
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Humorous Sayings for Him
A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
Tim Allen
What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.
Cindy Garner
The bravest thing that men do
The bravest thing that men do is love women.
Mort Sahl
I don’t have a boyfriend right now. I’m looking for anyone with a job that I don’t have to support.
Anna Nicole Smith
Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need ten years before you can call yourself a beginner.
Jerry Seinfeld
Check out Best I Love You Quotes
For Her
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
Chris Rock
The great question, which I have not been able to answer, is: what does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud
LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder… It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.
Ambrose Bierce
Women love a self-confident bald man.
Larry David
Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman.
Oscar Wilde
My love for you is like diarrhea; I just can’t hold it in.
Unknown
Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you.
Megan Mullally
What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.
Cindy Garner
Really Funny Love Quotes
Love is a lot like a backache; it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.
George Burns
Love is the same as like, except you feel sexier.
Judith Viorst
Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator.
Helen Gurley Brown
Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else.
Jean Kerr
Love is sharing your popcorn.
Charles Schultz (Simple, funny love quotes are the best)
If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
Alan King
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette
Check out: I love you more than messages.
It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
Francois De La Rochefoucauld
If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something.
Fran Lebowitz
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love, or I had smallpox.
Woody Allen
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
Albert Einstein
You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.
Melanie Clark
Tip: These funny love quotes make great captions for photos on social media like Facebook and Instagram.
Quotes about loving you so much.
Quotations about Relationships
Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.
Natasha Leggero
Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.
Richard Jeni
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
Unknown
If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools.
Katherine Mansfield
A kiss is a rosy dot over the ‘I’ of loving.
Cerano de Bergerac
What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.
Pearl Bailey
My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
Love and Devotion
Love is a sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
Jewish Proverb
Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
Rose Franken
You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
Henny Youngman
When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.
Richard Lewis
Love, at first sight is possible, but it pays to take a second look.
Unknown
True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
Erich Segal
The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing.
Blaise Pascal
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.
Joan Crawford
The only true love is love at first sight; second sight dispels it.
Israel Zangwill quotes
Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings.
David Sedaris
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Romantic Quotes
I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner
Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.
Samuel Lover
An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
Agatha Christie
Romance is the icing, but love is the cake.
Unknown
Romantic love is a mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one.
Fran Lebowitz
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.
Charles M. Schulz
Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.
Erma Bombeck
I love you like a fat kid loves cake.
Unknown
To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup… Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up.
Ogden Nash
There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and flattens the stomach.
Barbara Hower
When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there’s a reason.
Molly McGee – From Fibber McGee and Molly fame
Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.
Christopher Marlowe
By Liz Adams
Liz writes about relationships, pop culture, and travel.
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