Funny Quotes About Life and Living

If these funny quotes about life don’t provide a chuckle or two we’ll be shocked. Fun, humor and laughter are considered as the elements that help you get through life. Imagine having the world would have been without them. Imagine how your life would have been without them. It pays to spend every moment smiling about something. Those are the most precious moments of your life and the more you have them, the better it is. Life becomes easier when you spend more of your time laughing about things than worrying about them.

Here are funny quotes about life from men and women who have left a strong impact on time and the minds of people. Enjoy these quotes and read them to your loved ones to make them feel better too – and make this world an even merrier place to live.

Funny Life Quotes

I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.
Charles M. Schulz

Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.
John Wayne

Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive.
Elbert Hubbard

Funny Sayings About Life

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Jimmy Durante

Life is rather like a tin of sardines – we’re all of us looking for the key.
Alan Bennett

Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.
Carl Sandburg

Life is like a roll of toilet paper; hopefully long and useful, but it always ends at the wrong moment.
Rudyh

My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I’m happy. I can’t figure it out. What am I doing right?
Charles Schulz

Life is funny, when you are young you want to be older and those that are older wish to be younger.
Karon Waddell

Life is so constructed that an event does not, cannot, will not, match the expectation.
Charlotte Bronte

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
George Bernard Shaw

Life is hard, after all, it kills you.
Kathrine Hepburn

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
Groucho Marx

We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.
Bill Hicks

If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you’re old.
Edgar Watson Howe

Good Funny Quote

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
Rodney Dangerfield

Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.
Brooke Shields

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
Mark Twain

Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.
Kyle Chandler

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
Mark Russell

Humorous Sayings

I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
Demetri Martin

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.
Fred Allen

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen; it said ‘Parking Fine’.
Tommy Cooper

I was asked to name all the presidents. I thought they already had names.
Demitri Martin

If all the world’s a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
Paul Beatty

I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield

When people ask me how many people work here, I say, about a third of them.
Lisa Kennedy Montgomery

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Joan Rivers

Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise, they won’t come to yours.
Yogi Berra

A child is a curly dimpled lunatic.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

The first man to compare the cheeks of a young woman to a rose was obviously a poet; the first to repeat it was possibly an idiot.
Salvador Dali

Funny Motivational Quotations

People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.
Zig Ziglar

Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.
Japanese Proverb

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
Mark Twain

By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.
Robert Frost

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Homer Simpson

The main thing is keeping the main thing the main thing.
German Proverb

Life Quotations

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh – at yourself.
Ethel Barrymore

I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
Benjamin Franklin

Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
Erma Bombeck

Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget tossing in the lifeboats.
Voltaire

You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
Jack London

I’m an idealist, I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way.
Carl Sanburg

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.
Wayne Dyer

A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.
Unknown

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
Thomas Edison

When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard’, I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’
Sydney Harris

It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.
Harry S. Truman

Seven days without laughter make one weak.
Joel Goodman

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
A.A. Milne

If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.
Betty Reese

Tip: Use some of these funny quotes about life as photo captions on Instagram.

Really Funny Sayings

Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.
Billie Burke

If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
Steven Wright

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?… He`s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!
Billy Connolly

You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Bob Hope

I believe in the discipline of silence and could talk for hours about it.
George Bernard Shaw

A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.
Unknown

Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we’ll find it.
Sam Levenson

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.
Oscar Wilde

We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.
Benjamin Franklin

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Mark Twain

I can resist everything except temptation.
Oscar Wilde

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier… I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
Steven Wright

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.
Mark Twain

The two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity.
Arthur Miller

I drink to make other people more interesting.
Ernest Hemingway (Some funny quotes about life are darker than others.)

Funny Quotes About Life

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?
Ernest Hemingway

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
Brendan Gill

If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.
William Lyon Phelps

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White

Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.
William Goldman

— Mike O’Halloran

Mike is an author and editor of Greeting Card Poet.