Happy Birthday Funny Wishes, Greetings, Quotes and Images

Happy birthday funny folks! Celebrating big days with friends and family is the best time to put your good humor on display.

Nearly everyone tends to be in a good mood and looking for a reason to laugh. Don’t disappoint them – come with your “A” game. Check out some messages, wishes, quotes, and jokes below for ideas.

Funny Birthday Wishes

1.) For your birthday, I wish that every mirror in the world would vanish so you wouldn’t know that you are getting older. Enjoy!

2.) You are gradually getting to the top of the hill. It’s better than being buried under it.

3.) You should be proud of your age. This year you are wiser, smarter, and very close to reaping the benefits of senior discounts at restaurants.

4.) Don’t regret the grey hairs on your head. Aging is a privilege granted to a select few. Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Funny Wishes & Greetings.


5.) To someone totally awesome, gorgeous, funny, and reminds me of myself! You are a fabulous sister, and you know you owe it all to me!

6.) Dearest sister, please stop being younger than me every year! It just isn’t fair! Best wishes to you on your special day. May your beauty and humor never fade!

7.) I can’t believe that someone so annoying and immature grew up to be someone I love dearly and consider one of my best friends! Happy Birthday to my wonderful, beautiful, and intelligent sister!

8.) Congratulations on having survived another year with me as your sister! May this year be your best year yet!

happy birthday funny.


9.) Before you go out today, make sure your pockets are empty. It’s your day to have others treat you! I hope you enjoy your birthday, dear brother.

10.) You might get all the responsibility for being the older brother, but you have no idea how hard it is to be the favorite of the family. Enjoy your day!

11.) As the true and good-hearted brother that I am, I have remembered your birthday and forgotten your age.

12.) You’ve already taught me so much, as my older brother. Now I’m learning from you how (not) to age gracefully. Have a great Bday!

the older you get the better you get quote

Funny Happy Birthday for Friends

13.) For your birthday, I wanted to give you something that was both funny and charming, but then I remembered you already have me in your life.

14.) May my friend on this special day be able to set all the jealous people on fire and use the flame to burn the candles and blow them off with a happy smile, a very happy and amazing day to you.

15.) I made you a birthday cake to celebrate, but I couldn’t light the candles. It turns out the fire department requires a permit for bonfires. Happy Birthday bestie!

16.) The best part of being over forty is that you did most of your stupid stuff before the invention of the internet.

17.) Having friends has never been more awesome! You truly are a great person to have around, even when you eat everything on the table. We still love you anyway! Happy birthday!

Tip: These Happy Birthday Funny Messages work nicely as captions for social media.

You might like Cool and Hip Quotes.

birthdays are the best image

Birthday Greeting for Husband

18.) I do love how you stick to me like glue. It certainly makes it easy for me to keep track of where you are and what you are doing at all times. Have a great birthday love!

19.) You’re the best husband a lady could hope for. Kind, handsome, charming, and clever. If only we were also tall. Not to worry, 4 out of 5 boxes are not bad at all!

20.) I didn’t get you a fancy gift this year; instead, I thought it best to go with something sentimental. Remember that time you told me how happy it makes you when I wear red? Well, I’ve bought a whole new outfit and accessories in lush red colors. Just for you!

21.) It’s time for me to start pulling my weight around the house, I know. So today for your birthday I’ve cleaned all the rooms and made the house pretty, all for you! So now do your part, get in the kitchen, and make us some dinner.

Growing up is optional quotation image

Funny Messages for Birthday Celebrations

22.) No one will stop tonight from eating your favorite items. I wish you the happiest birthday ever.

23.) Happy birthday. At your age, you should really try to see everything as larger than life…starting with LARGE print.

24.) Hey, no matter how old have you become today, just make sure that you don’t forget that where you kept the car keys. Good luck!

25.) Congrats on getting a year closer to a senior citizen discount at the movies.

26.) Can you remember those young, healthy, and colorful days of our young age? It always feels awesome when you can recall all those memories. Happy birthday old man.

Funny Birthday Messages

27.) Don’t be sad you’re a year older. Keep your chin up…both of ’em! Well, you know what I mean.

28.) If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them!

29.) This year is the easiest one for me to pick a birthday gift for you,

30.) I choose makeup for you to apply plenty of it to hide your wrinkles and your age.

31.) At our age, the only way to look younger is to add at least a decade to your age.

32.) So, you are still younger than the age you will be on your next birthday. Have a special celebration.

33.) Just smile while you still have your natural teeth.

34.) Another year has gone by, but that doesn’t mean you’ve become wiser.

35.) We need a flamethrower instead of a lighter to light up all of your candles.

Check out our Funny Birthday Quotes from Dr. Seuss.

Witty and Comical

36.) Don’t count the candles on your cake or the wrinkles on your face. Just be glad that you’re not down for the count.

37.) The main thing to do to remain young is to lie when it comes to your age, eat slowly, and dress like a teenager.

38.) You’ve finally reached the age of wisdom. Still, nobody wants to listen to you.

39.) There are plenty of years I can remember for those history classes in our schools. But, the bad news is I can’t remember your birth date as it wasn’t in our course. Maybe I’m late but have a great one.

40.) You should count your age, not your wrinkles. Count your experiences and blessings, not your mistakes.

41.) Stop counting your candles and start counting your blessings. You still have hair on your head, not in your ears and nose!

42.) The room is getting hotter. Please blow out the candles before your room gets on fire.

43.) It’s cold out there, but I feel much warm for your candles. Man, your birthday is hot!

Best Birthday Wishes

44.) They say that with age comes wisdom. I’m not so sure…I’ve met a lot of foolish older people. So far, you’re not one of them.

45.) Time may heal all wounds, but it leaves you with an unhealthy glow, saggy skin, and crow’s feet.

46.) Cheers to another trip around the sun!

47.) Congratulations on being born a really long time ago.

48.) Don’t worry about your eyesight going as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you every time you walk by a mirror.

Funny Birthday Image

vintage birthday wish image

In Spanish

49.) Muchas muchas felicidades del día!

50.) Que puedas disfrutar de este día haciendo las cosas especiales que le gusta hacer. Feliz cumpleaños a it.

51.) Amigo del feliz cumpleaños !! Que puedas superar todas las dificultades y desafíos que vienen en su vida.

52.) Que Dios te bendiga en tu cumpleaños. Te enviamos nuestro amor.

53.) Felicidades en tu día! Espero que lo pases genial.

Humorous Quotes for the Big Day

54.) Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
Robert Frost

55.) You’re getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it.
Felix Severn

56.) Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.

57.) The older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana.
Rose Nylund

58.) A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
Erma Bombeck

59.) Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese. 
Luis Bunuel

60.) Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
Mark Twain

61.) You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Bob Hope

a year closer to AARP membership image

Laughable Sayings

62.) For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.
John Glenn

63.) Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, ‘Happy Birthday.’
Steven Wright

64.) Years ago, we discovered the exact point, the dead center of middle age. It occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.
Franklin P. Adams

65.) The seven ages of man: spills, drills, thrills, bills, ills, pills, and wills.
Richard J. Needham

66.) Life would be infinitely better if we could be born at the age of 80 and gradually approach 18.
Mark Twain

67.) Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
Father Larry Lorenzoni

68.) The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you’ll grow out of it.
Doris Day

69.) I’ve got everything I had 20 years ago, except now it’s all lower.
Gypsy Rose Lee

70.) After 30, a body has a mind of its own.
Bette Midler

71.) Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
Mary Schmich

72.) Middle age is when you have the choice of two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home earlier.
Edgar Watson Howe

73.) The bad news is that I have a bad memory and am no good at math. The good news is that I have no idea how old I am.
Melanie White

74.) The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Lucille Ball

erma bombeck quote on birthdays


75.) What’s the easiest way to remember your wife’s birthday?
Forget it once!

76.) What do you always get on your birthday?
Another year older!

77.) What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?
They were all born on holidays.

78.) Where do you get a birthday present for your cat?
From a cat-alogue.

79.) How do pickles celebrate their birthdays?
They relish the moment.

You might like our hilarious Dad Jokes.

Birthday Jokes for Kids

80.) What did the elephant wish for on his birthday?
A trunkful of presents!

81.) What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
Mice cream and cake.

82.) What did the birthday cake say to the ice cream?
You’re cool!

83.) What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
Angel food cake.

84.) Why did Susan stand on her head at the birthday party?
They were having an upside-down cake!

Old Age Riddles

85.) What goes up and never comes down?
Your age!

86.) Were any famous men born on your birthday?
No, only little babies.

87.) I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.

88.) When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
When it’s been sliced.

89.) What’s the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary?
Get married on his birthday.

90.) What did the bald guy say when he was given a comb for his birthday?
Thanks, I’ll never part with it.

91.) Why did Tommy hit his birthday cake with a hammer?
It was a pound cake!

92.) What was the average age of a caveman?
Stone Age!

By MJ O’Halloran

MJ writes about relationships, family, and culture.

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