Funny Birthday Wishes and Sayings strike the right chord between casual birthday greetings and humor that most folks will find enjoyable on their big day. Who doesn’t like a good laugh?
These funny birthday wishes will give you something to write on Facebook, Instagram, emails, cards, and notes when your friends or family members celebrate birthdays.
Don’t just go with the tried and true: Happy Birthday! Or, even the less work approach: HBD! Try something new – stand out from the crowd.
Funny Happy Birthday Wishes
Happy birthday. Don’t be sad you’re a year older. Keep your chin up…if you can! Well, you know what I mean.
Stop counting your candles and start counting your blessings. You still have hair on your head, not in your ears and nose! Happy birthday.
Happy birthday! At this point in your life, you should really think of making a new start. You should really start lying about your age.
You’ve joined the “Raiders of the Lost AARP” fan club. Happy Birthday!
I wanted to give you something that was both funny and charming for your birthday, but then I remembered you already have me in your life.
If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them! Happy birthday!
Best Birthday Greetings
You know how most people, on your birthday, tell you, “My goodness, you never seem to age.” Well, I’m not one of them. Happy birthday, old fart!
Happy birthday! Don’t count the candles on your cake or the wrinkles on your face. Just be glad that you’re not down for the count.
I made you a birthday cake to celebrate, but I couldn’t light the candles. It turns out the fire department requires a permit for bonfires.
Happy birthday. At your age, you should really try to see everything as larger than life…starting with LARGE print.
You know, at your age, your not getting any easier to live with – let’s start with the fact that we have to wait in line longer while you show cashiers your AARP card.
They say that with age comes wisdom. I’m not so sure…I’ve met a lot of foolish older people. So far, you’re not one of them. Happy birthday.
First the army recruiters and now AARP — you must know you’re a wanted man. Happy Birthday!
Someone your age shouldn’t say “chill” unless they’re talking about the weather.
First goes the memory, then your eyesight, and then…I forgot. But, have a great birthday.
Link: History of birthdays
Incredibly Funny Birthday Captions Video
Don’t worry about your age. You are still younger than your next birthday. Have a special day!
Be thankful for another year
It just reminded me that weeds don’t easily die.
Have a blast on your birthday!
Happy birthday! At our age, I don’t know why people expect us to remember their birthdays. On a good day, we’re lucky if we even remember where our car keys are!
A big Thanks for your Birthday. Your birthday cake candles are giving us so much warmth to counter this chilling cold. Thanks again, and Happy Birthday!
Real men are proud of their age.
Best wishes on your birthday!
Happy birthday! Considering all the candles on your cake, I hope you remembered to top up your fire insurance.
Big boys don’t need toys.
But big boys should eat and blow their cakes.
May you have the best birthday ever!
Why do people like you get depressed on their birthday for becoming old? If you think about it, you are getting old on the left 364 days of a year. Happy birthday!
Happy birthday! Another year, another reason to curse the inventor of the first modern mirror.
I lift a toast for your being older than last year.
It’s still an achievement, though!
All the best this year to you!
You should be proud of your age. This year you are wiser, smarter, and very close to reaping the benefits of senior discounts at restaurants. Happy birthday!
From this point forward, this is the youngest you’ll ever be. HBD!
You might like: Happy 40th Birthday Greeting Ideas.
Yes, you’re getting older and wrinklier every day, but it could be worse…you could still have an acne problem! Happy birthday!
Don’t worry about getting so old. I will have the fire extinguisher ready in case your birthday cake gets out of control. Love you, my ancient friend! Happy birthday
My dear friend, another year has gone by, but unfortunately, that doesn’t mean you’ve become any wiser. Chill! Happy birthday dear!
Sure, getting older is like a time travel movie in slow motion…but better slow than fast, I always say! I’m in no rush to get to the end of the film. Happy birthday!
On your special day, I wish you peace, love, insight, relaxation, fun, knowledge, romance, friendship… and all that stuff that doesn’t cost anything. Happy birthday!
You are only young and reckless once, but you can be reckless well into your hip-breaking days. Happy birthday!
For your birthday this year, I hope you don’t mind if we avoid the fire hazard of so many candles and use electronic candles instead. Happy birthday!
Happy Birthday to my wild and crazy friend. Thanks for keeping all of the adults busy with your antics when we were kids so that I never was punished!
Funny Birthday Wishes For Sister
Well, sis, I have to tell you I never thought
You’d make it this long without getting caught
After all of these years, mom and dad still think you’re the best
Until I start letting them know things you never confessed!
I hear you are a big deal now. Well, you’re still my baby sister, and I still have your back. I saw that birthday fairy headed your way, so I hit her on the head with a broom and knocked her butt out! Happy Birthday, Sister!
To a sister who I can say is one in a million.
You’re a unique combination of a best friend and a villain
Have a spectacular birthday, let out lots of cheers
And here’s to many more over the next many years!
Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! You look like a monkey, and you belong in a zoo! There ya go, little sister. I hope your birthday is absolutely bananas!
Sis, you were a handful as a kid, but you seem better now
I’ll assume it’s the therapy. I won’t inquire about how. Happy birthday dear!
Sis, I want to tell you things I’ve never said
That I no longer think you have a thick head
Even if I did, I know you probably feel the same
And for that, we only have our parents to blame!
Funny Birthday Wishes For Brother
I hope your lungs have enough power to blow up the entire candle at one go. Happy Birthday, Bro!
Happy Birthday to my sweet brother. I hope you get one more disease of love and relationship. May a virus of fun enter your life? Happy Fun and humor on your Birthday. These hilarious Birthday wishes are only for you.
I asked Mom and Dad to tell me about the day you were born. Know what they said? They can’t remember that far back! I guess that means you’re ancient. Happy birthday, old guy!
Happy birthday. It’s going to be a great day.
I’ll call you, and you won’t answer, but that’s okay
Because I know you’ll get around to calling me back
It’s your birthday, so I’ll cut you a little slack!
Don’t worry, brother, age is only a number. Although, in your case, it’s a very, very, very, very big number! Happy birthday!
But seriously, I’m kidding; you’re beyond compare
I know in the end you will always be there
Because that’s what the most amazing siblings do
Happy Birthday, bro!
For your birthday, I decided to get you some practical gifts. Now, I know you might think the toupee is slightly over the top, but, seriously, it won’t be long now, brother! Happy birthday!
Happy Birthday to one old fart from another! We’re so blessed to be able to grow old and senile together. Who knows—we might even get to be roommates in the nursing home?! How crazy would that be! You’re the best brother anyone could ever ask for! Happy birthday!
These funny birthday wishes can serve effectively as Facebook captions, scrapbook comments, or Instagram captions.
40th Birthday Wishes Funny
No woman should have kids over 40. Really, 40 kids are enough. Happy birthday!
‘May all your dreams come true – this is what I wished you on your twentieth birthday. ‘I hope all your dreams have come true – this is what I am hoping for you on your fortieth birthday because it is too late to start dreaming now. Happy 40th.
Some birthday advice: don’t run upstairs right before you have to blow out 40 candles. Happy birthday!
40 is when you finally get your head together, and your body has other ideas. Happy birthday!
Age is relative. If you think you are twenty, you will feel like you are young and twenty. If you think that you are fifty, you will feel like you are old and fifty. So how young do you want to feel on your fortieth? Happy 40th birthday.
Be wise with speed; a fool at forty is a fool indeed. Happy birthday!
Forty is the age when it suddenly dawns upon you that life is indeed very short. Better late than never, start doing the things that you have always dreamt about. Happy 40th.
The forties are pretty much like the thirties, except it takes longer to recover from a big party. And you start to get more sensible tattoos. Happy 40th birthday!
Be happy that you are still 3,650 days away from turning fifty. Maybe this is the only way you can console yourself about turning forty—happy 40th birthday.
Birthdays are meant to be celebrated in person. Friends, family, and all acquaintances shower the person with birthday wishes and blessings. Everyone desires to bring a smile to the person’s face and make their day special.
Whether they will celebrate the day with a grand party or just a small get-together of closest friends, it is always a good gesture to send your best birthday wishes to the birthday boy or girl.
Hopefully, these funny birthday wishes will bring a smile both to your face and the recipient.
Do you have any funny birthday wishes ideas? Please send your suggestions to us via the Contact page. Thanks!
By Mike O’Halloran
Mike is the founder and editor of Greeting Card Poet.