Sink your teeth into these Thanksgiving jokes this holiday season! Thanksgiving is an emotional time when people travel miles away from home just to be with loved ones they see only once a year.
Luckily, these jokes are good to use, no matter what time of year it is! Instead of eating yourself into a food coma, we have harvested a plateful of jokes that you can present to everyone to feast upon. Trust us, there’s more than enough to go around to get the whole family stuffed!
Jokes About Thanksgiving
Let’s face it, turkeys are easy targets for hunters and this is also true for jokes. If you’re looking for some funny, clever jokes to share this holiday, overindulge and have big fun by adding some giggles at dinner during your next Thanksgiving day celebration with this heaping helping of jokes below. Enjoy and Happy Thanksgiving!
Holiday Humor
What do you call Thanksgiving for selfish people?
Thanks-taking.
What do comedians call Thanksgiving?
Pranks-giving. (Check out more Puns for Kids.)
What kind of cars would pilgrims drive today?
Plymouth.
Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
What kind of face do pilgrims make when they’re in pain?
Pil-grimace.
What’s the smallest unit of measurement in the pilgrim cookbook?
Pilgram.
How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving?
He was very thinkful.
Turkey Day Meme
Funny Thanksgiving Jokes
What did the turkey dress up as on Halloween?
A gobblin’
Why did the pilgrim’s pants keep falling down?
Because his belt buckle was on his hat.
What did the baby corn say to mama corn?
Where’s popcorn.
What do you get if you cross a pointy black hat and some leftover turkey?
A Witch-bone.
What did the hipster say the day after Thanksgiving?
I liked the leftovers before they were cool.
What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian?
He had an arrow escape.
What’s the best song to sing when preparing your Thanksgiving turkey?
All About The Baste.
What are unhappy cranberries called?
Blueberries.
Turkey Day Fun Facts, Quotes and More
For Kids
Which cat discovered America?
Christofurry Columbus.
What do you call a running turkey?
Fast food.
What are the feathers on a turkey’s wings called?
Turkey feathers.
What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
The turkey trot.
What was the scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
Straw-berries.
How did you send a turkey through the mail?
Bird class.
What did the turkey say to the computer?
Google, google, google.
What do you call the age of a pilgrim?
Pilgrimage.
What was the pumpkin’s favorite sport?
Squash.
Why didn’t the Pilgrims tell secrets in the cornfield?
Because the corn had ears.
What do pilgrims learn in school?
Pilgrammar.
Why was the Thanksgiving dinner so expensive?
It had 24 carrots.
What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
The letter G.
Why did the Pilgrim eat a candle?
He wanted a light snack.
What did the monster say to the Thanksgiving turkey?
Pleased to eat you.
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For Adults
What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock.
Why do the pants of pilgrims keep falling down?
Because their belt buckles are on their hats.
What do vampires call Thanksgiving?
Fangs-giving.
What do you call a rude Turkey?
A jerk-key
Why didn’t the Pilgrim want to make the bread?
It’s a crummy job.
When did the Pilgrims first say, “God bless America”?
The first time they heard America sneeze.
What does Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving?
Twerk-ey.
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son?
If your papa could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy.
If a man wants to eat a turkey on Thanksgiving, what does a turkey want?
It simply wants to run away.
What do you call an evil turkey?
Poultry-Geist.
What did the turkey say before it was roasted?
Boy, I’m stuffed.
What does an English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning?
To be or not to be roasted, that is the question.
Why do turkeys always go, “gobble, gobble”?
Because they never learned good table manners.
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Happy Thanksgiving Humor
What kind of tan did pilgrims get at the beach?
Puritan.
What was the turkey looking for at ToysR’Us?
Gobbleheads.
If the pilgrims came on the Mayflower then what does the teacher come on?
The scholarships.
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one?
Goblet.
What does a Pilgrim call his friends?
Pal-grims.
Why did the Pilgrim die in the car crash?
Because he didn’t buckle up.
Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?
He lost track of thyme.
Why did the handbag hitch a ride with the Pilgrims when they came to America?
To escape purse-cution.
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
To try to hatchet.
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims.
Where do turkeys go dancing?
The Butterball.
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Turkey Jokes
What do turkeys like to do on sunny days?
Have peck-nics!
Why can’t you take a turkey to church?
They use fowl language.
What happened to the turkey who got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
What do you call it when it rains turkeys?
Fowl weather!
What do space station turkeys say?
Hubble, Hubble, Hubble.
What’s the most musical part of a turkey?
The drumstick.
Why do turkeys lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they would break.
Thanksgiving Day Puns
Why shouldn’t you look at the turkey dressing?
Because it will make him blush.
What is turkey’s favorite dessert?
Peach gobbler.
Why don’t you put the turkey near the corn?
Because it will gobble, gobble, gobble it up.
What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
The turKEY.
If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does turkey come from?
A poul-tree.
What sound does a turkey’s phone make?
Wing, wing.
What do you get when a turkey lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
What sound does a limping turkey make?
Wobble, wobble.
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving?
The turkey because he’s already stuffed.
Amusing Thanksgiving Jokes
How did the salt and pepper welcome all the guests? By saying,
Seasoning’s greetings!
If Pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on?
Scholar ships.
what did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!
What did one pumpkin pie say to the other?
You wanna piece of me?
Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving?
Because you far exceeded your feed limit.
How do little pumpkins cross the road?
With a crossing gourd.
Jokes for Thanksgiving Dinner
What side dish do you bring for Thanksgiving dinner when you accidentally sat on the sweet potatoes?
Squash casserole.
What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?
A har-vest.
What do you get if you cross a turkey with a ghost?
A poultry-geist.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite Thanksgiving dish?
Monster mash potatoes and grave-y.
What did the sweet potato say when it was asked if it was hungry?
Yes, I yam.
What role do green beans play in Thanksgiving dinner?
The casse-role.
Bird Jokes
What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?
Quack, Quack.
Why did the farmer have to separate the chicken and the turkey?
He sensed fowl play.
What instrument does a turkey play?
The drumsticks!
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside!
Corny Jokes
Can a turkey jump higher than a house?
Yes, because houses can’t jump!
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi.
What did the salad say to the butter who kept making jokes?
You’re on a roll.
What kind of ‘tude is appropriate at the family dinner?
Gratitude.
Which holiday is Dracula’s favorite?
Fangs-giving.
What’s the best way to fix a broken pumpkin?
Use a pumpkin patch.
Thanksgiving Knock Knock Jokes
Knock knock! Who’s there? Arthur Arthur who?
Arthur any leftovers?
Knock knock! Who’s there? Don. Don who?
Don eat all the gravy; I want some more.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Argue. Argue who?
Argue going to pass the gravy or what?
Knock knock! Who’s there? Annie. Annie who?
Annie’s body seen the turkey?
Who’s there? Tamara. Tamara who?
Tamara we’ll eat all the leftovers!
Knock Knock. Who’s there? Dewey. Dewey who?
Dewey have to wait long to eat?
By Liz Olson
Liz is a writer and poet based in Minneapolis.
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