Christmas Jokes
This is one awesome collection of Christmas jokes! ‘Tis the season of joy, and there’s no more joyful sound than that of laughter.
These are sure to get everyone into the holiday spirit and be enjoyed all the way through the Holidays.
In our collection, you’ll find lots of family-friendly humor about Christmas, Santa, elves, reindeer, and so much more to keep your family and friends ho-ho-ho-ing throughout the holidays.
Funny Christmas Jokes
What else do we have in store? Corny Xmas jokes? Oh yeah, we have those too! Have fun and bring in the good cheer of the season with this collection.
1.) Why is a broken drum the best Xmas gift ever?
You just can’t beat it.
2.) What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments.
3.) Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
They always drop their needles.
4.) Which of Santa’s reindeer has to mind their manners most?
Rude-olph.
5.) Why don’t reindeer like picnics?
Because of all their ant-lures.
6.) What’s worse than Rudolph with a runny nose?
Frosty the snowman with a hot flush.
7.) Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because he wasn’t chicken.
Merry Xmas Humor
8.) What happened to the turkey at Christmas?
It got gobbled.
9.) How do snowmen get around?
They ride an icicle.
10.) When is a boat just like snow?
When it’s adrift.
11.) What song do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
12.) What did one snowman say to the other?
I couldn’t hear them, so I have snow-idea.
13.) Why is winter a snowman’s favorite time of year?
It is when a snowman can camouflage.
14.) Children: This turkey tastes like an old sofa.
Mom: Well, you asked for something with plenty of stuffing.
15.) What is a skunk’s favorite Christmas song?
Jingle smells.
See Romantic Christmas Greetings.
Christmas Riddles
16.) Why does Scrooge love reindeer?
Because every single buck is deer to him.
17.) What’s the difference between a North Pole alphabet and a regular alphabet?
The North Pole alphabet has No-el!
18.) What’s every parent’s favorite Christmas carol?
Silent Night.
19.) Where do the elves keep their earnings?
In a snowbank.
20.) Why does Santa enter houses through the chimneys?
Because it soots him.
21.) What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling?
Mistletoad.
22.) What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
23.) What do you get when you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker.
Tip: These jokes and puns are great for your family Christmas card.
See our Christmas and Holiday Toasts.
Christmas Fun For Kids
24.) How do you know that a snowman is not in a good mood?
When he gives you the cold shoulder.
25.) Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy.
26.) What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve.
Christmas Puns
27.) How does Xmas Day end?
With the letter ‘Y.’
28.) What carol is heard in the desert?
O camel ye faithful.
29.) What do angry mice send to each other during the holiday season?
Cross Mouse Cards.
30.) What are the best Christmas sweaters made from?
Fleece Navidad.
31.) How did Scrooge win the football game?
The Ghost of Christmas passed.
32.) What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?
Nice gnawing you.
33.) Why was the snowman rummaging in the bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose.
34.) What’s the best thing to put into a Christmas Cake?
Your teeth.
35.) Where would you find chili beans?
At the North Pole.
36.) What do sheep say at Xmas?
Wool-tide Bleatings or A Merry Christmas to Ewe.
Christmas Jokes Meme
Santa Humor
37.) Where does Santa keep all his money?
At the local snowbank.
38.) What do you call Santa when he takes a break?
Santa Pause.
39.) What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
Krisp Kringle.
40.) Who is Santa Claus married to?
Mary Christmas.
41.) What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?
Santa Claus.
42.) What did Santa ask Rudolph about the weather?
Is it going to rain, dear?
43.) What do you call a man who claps at Christmas?
Santapplause.
44.) Who is Santa’s favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley.
45.) What did Santa say to the smoker?
Please don’t smoke. It isn’t nice for my elf.
46.) Where does Santa go when he’s sick?
To the elf center.
Reindeer Christmas Jokes
47.) What does Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer eat for breakfast?
Deerios.
48.) Where does Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer express his deepest, secret thoughts?
In his reindiary.
49.) Why is Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer so cold at Christmas?
Because it’s in Decembrrrrr.
50.) What did Rudolph say when he stepped into a big puddle?
It must have reindheer.
51.) What does Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer like about rainy days?
The reinbows.
52.) How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?\
He looks at the calen-deer.
53.) Who’s the smartest member of Santa’s sleigh team?
Rudolph, the red-nosed braindeer.
54.) Why didn’t Rudolph make the honor roll in school this marking period?
Because he went down in History.
Hilarious Christmas Jokes
55.) What do you call a broke Santa?
Saint Nickel-less.
56.) What did the one snowman say to the other?
Do you smell carrot?
57.) What is the difference between a Santa and a knight?
One slays the dragon, and the other drags the sleigh.
58.) What did Adam say the day before Xmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve.
59.) What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
60.) Why are Xmas trees bad at sewing?
They always drop their needles.
61.) How much did Santa Claus pay for his sleigh?
Nothing. It was on the house.
62.) Why did the elves rob the liquor store?
They needed some holiday spirit.
63.) What did the North Pole weatherman say to his wife?
It’s going to reindeer.
64.) What happened to the thief who stole the advent calendar?
He got 25 days.
65.) What do you call an elf who sings?
A wrapper.
Christmas Humor
66.) Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log.
67.) Why wouldn’t Santa ride his sleigh?
For elf and safety concerns.
68.) What cars do elves drive?
A toy yota.
69.) Why does Scrooge love reindeer?
Because every buck is deer to him.
70.) What is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburnt elf.
71.) What did the cow say on Xmas morning?
Mooooey Christmas.
72.) What do you call an elf who steals gift wrap from the rich and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
73.) The North Pole doesn’t import goods because it’s Elf Sufficient.
74.) Where does mistletoe go to become famous?
“Holly” wood.
75.) Who is Santa Claus married to?
Mary Christmas.
Corny Christmas Jokes
76.) What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat?
He hits a gnome and runs.
77.) What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling?
Mistletoad.
78.) What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
79.) Why do Mummies like Christmas so much?
Because of all the wrapping.
80.) What do you call a reindeer who can write with both his left and his right hooves?
Bambi-dextrous.
81.) What’s a female elf called?
A shelf.
82.) What’s Santa’s tax status?
Elf-employed.
83.) What do snowmen like to do at the weekend?
Chill out.
84.) What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
Saint Nickel-less.
Elf Fun
85.) What was the elf’s favorite sport?
Miniature golf.
86.) What kind of money did the elf on the shelf use?
Jingle bills.
87.) Who lives at the North Pole, builds toys, and rides in a pumpkin?
Cinder-ELF-a.
88.) What do you call a rich elf?
Welfy.
89.) What do elves eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
90.) What did Santa say to the elf who said he made the worst toys?
Don’t belittle yourself.
91.) Why was the elf so quick to anger?
He had a short fuse.
92.) What do you call a frozen elf hanging from the ceiling?
An elf-cicle.
93.) Where do elves go dancing?
Christmas Balls.
94.) Who is the Music Elf’s favorite reindeer?
Dancer.
95.) Why did Santa’s helper visit the doctor?
Because he had low elf esteem.
Best Christmas Jokes
96.) What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet!
97.) What music do Santa’s elves like best?
Wrap music.
98.) What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs?
Candy canes.
99.) What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claus-trophobia.
100.) What did the Christmas tree say to the bushes?
Lighten up.
101.) What’s red, white, and blue at Christmas?
A sad candy cane.
102.) What’s green, covered in tinsel, and goes ribbet-ribbet?
A mistle-toad!
Festive Christmas Jokes
103.) What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?
Orna-mints!
104.) What kind of motorcycle does Santa like to ride?
A Holly Davidson.
105.) Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?
Because they were two deer!
106.) What do you get when Santa becomes a detective?
Santa Clues.
107.) Why are Comet, Cupid, and Donner and always wet?
Because they are rain deer.
108.) What does an elf study in school?
The elf-abet.
Short Christmas Jokes
109.) What’s Santa’s favorite candy?
Jolly Ranchers.
110.) What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?
You get tinsel-it is.
111.) What is Santa’s dog’s name?
Santa Paws.
112.) What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
The abdominal snowman.
113.) Where do Santa’s reindeer stop for coffee?
Star-bucks.
114.) What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells.
115.) What is the most competitive season?
Win-ter.
Christmas Knock-Knock Jokes
116.) Knock, knock! Who’s there? Chris. Chris who?
Christmas is here!
117.) Knock, knock! Who’s there? Holly. Holly who?
Holly-days are here again!
118.) Knock, knock! Who’s there? Pudding. Pudding who?
Well, pudding up the Christmas lights!
119.) Knock, knock! Who’s there? Interrupting Santa.
Inter–Ho ho ho!
120.) Knock, knock! Who’s there? Anna. Um, Anna who?
Anna partridge in a pear tree.
Funny Christmas Puns and Jokes
121.) What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper.
122.) What do you call a cat at the beach during Christmas?
Sandy Claws.
123.) What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!
124.) Why did Santa Claus get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve?
He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.
125.) What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad?
A pineapple.
126.) What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?
Stick with me, and we’ll go places.
127.) Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
128.) Did you hear that Santa knows karate?
He has a black belt.
129.) What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet.
130.) How did Scrooge win the football game?
The Ghost of Christmas passed.
131.) What do Christmas trees and bad knitters have in common?
They both drop their needles.
132.) What did the salt say to the pepper?
Season’s Greetings!
133.) If athletes get athlete’s feet, what do astronauts get?
Missle toe!
134.) What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with a MacIntosh?
A pineapple!
135.) Why did the kids call Saint Nick “Santa Caus”?
Because there’s Noel!
136.) Who has a toy guitar and sings “Blue Christmas”?
Elfis.
137.) What do you call Santa Claus when he loses his underwear?
Saint Knicker Less!
By Mike O’Halloran
Mike is the editor and founder of Greeting Card Poet.
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You’re on Christmas Jokes.
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