Marriage quotes from authors, celebrities and public figures are featured on this page. When you or someone you know have matrimony plans in the works, have a look at these words of wisdom. You might just find some inspirational messages.
Good Marriage Quotes for Happy Couples
Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.
Emily Brontë
The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they’re right if you love to be with them all of the time.
Julia Child
We love the things we love for what they are.
Robert Frost
Each day I love you more today than yesterday and less than tomorrow.
Rosemonde Gerarde
Where there is love, there is life.
Mahatma Ghandi
Two souls with but a single thought. Two hearts that beat as one.
Friedrich Halm
What a happy and holy fashion it is that those who love one another should rest on the same pillow.
Nathaniel Hawthorne
There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create.
John Lennon
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.
Ogden Nash
You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
Dr. Seuss
(Great marriage quotes can come from a children’s book author.)
Marriage Quotations
We can do no great things; only small things with great love.
Mother Teresa
There is no remedy for love but to love more.
Henry David Thoreau
To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
Mark Twain – for more of the top Mark Twain Quotations
To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage
Lao Tzu
There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.
Unknown
To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.
David Viscott
Funny Marriage Quotes
A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
Tim Allen
Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don’t; men hope women won’t change, but they do.
Bettina Arndt
When a couple of young people strongly devoted to each other commence to eat onions, it is safe to pronounce them engaged.
James Montgomery Bailey
My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.
Jack Benny
A kiss is a rosy dot over the “I” of loving.
Cerano de Bergerac
Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.
Erma Bombeck
My husband and I have never considered divorce – murder sometimes, but never divorce.
Dr. Joyce Brothers
Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash.
Dr. Joyce Brothers
Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry out the trash.
Joyce Brothers
Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator.
Helen Gurley Brown
Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.
Gary Busey
Funny Sayings
All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage
Lord Byron
I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?
Jean Illsley Clarke
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. Joan Crawford
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
Rodney Dangerfield
Marriage Quotations Funny
If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love.
Miles Davis
Gravitation can’t be held responsible for people falling in love.
Albert Einstein
Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you’d be surprise at the large number that re-enlist.
James Garner
Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine-gun.
Matt Groening
Funny Marriage Quotations
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
Bob Hope
If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family.
Lawrence Housman
Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join.
Elbert Hubbard
Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
Franklin P. Jones
Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else.
Jean Kerr
If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
Alan King
He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle.
Ring Lardner
If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something.
Fran Lebowitz
Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one.
Fran Lebowitz
Seven bridal shower games, three helpful forms and a keepsake for the bride. Click on image for more info.
Wedding and Marriage Quotations
When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.
Richard Lewis
If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools.
Katherine Mansfield
I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth!
Chico Marx
The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
H.V. Prochnow
Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning a handspring or eating with chopsticks; it looks easy until you try it.
Helen Rowland
Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it.
Phyllis Schlafly
Love is sharing your popcorn.
Charles Schultz
True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
Erich Segal
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
Socrates
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the questions?
Lily Tomlin
I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven’t had time for tobacco since.
Arturo Toscanini
Tip: Use these marriage quotes for captions on social media.
Quotations about Marriage
Marriage is like a workshop where the man works and the woman shops.
Unknown
Car Manufacturer’s formula for a successful marriage: Stick to one model!
Unknown
A husband’s last words should always be, “Ok, buy it.”
Unknown
Where love is the case, the doctor is an ass.
Unknown
Five words for a successful marriage: “I’m sorry, it’s my fault.”
Unknown
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
Unknown
If you’re wrong and you shut up, you’re wise. If you’re right and you shut up, you’re married.
Unknown
To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.
Unknown
A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt.
Unknown
Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.
Unknown
Don’t make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbors ain’t.
Unknown
Marriage Quotes for Husband
Romance is the icing, but love is the cake.
Unknown
A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.
Unknown
The four most important words in any marriage: “I’ll do the dishes.”
Unknown
Never, under any circumstances, should you argue with a spouse who is currently packing your parachute!
Unknown
A good marriage is like a casserole – only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
Unknown
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.
Judith Viorst
Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.
Judith Viorst
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Henny Youngman
We were married for better or worse. I couldn’t have done better, and she couldn’t have done worse.
Henny Youngman
Odds and Ends
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