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Marriage Quotes

These marriage quotes provide insights into married life and the love that two people can share.

Some of the takes are humorous while others speak to a long-lasting connection that is special.

When you or someone you know have matrimony plans in the works, have a look at these words of wisdom. You might just find some inspirational messages to share.

Funny Marriage Quotes

1.) Marriage is very difficult. Marriage is like a five-thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky.
Cathy Ladman

2.) A man doesn’t know what real happiness is until he’s married. Then it’s too late.
Henny Youngman

3.) A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
Tim Allen

4.) You know your marriage is in trouble when your wife starts wearing the wedding ring on her middle finger.
Dennis Miller

Good marriage quotes and sayings.

5.) I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences.
Brian Kiley

6.) I was married for a short time. Just long enough to realize all those comedians weren’t joking.
Daniel Lybra

Being Married Sayings Funny

7.) Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don’t; men hope women won’t change, but they do.
Bettina Arndt

The secret of a happy marriage - Henny Youngman quote.

8.) The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Henny Youngman

9.) When a couple of young people strongly devoted to each other commence to eat onions, it is safe to pronounce them engaged.
James Montgomery Bailey

10.) My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.
Jack Benny

11.) Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.
Erma Bombeck

12.) Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator.
Helen Gurley Brown

I love being married quote.

13.) Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.
Gary Busey

Check out: How to Address Wedding Invites

14.) All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.
Lord Byron

15.) I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?
Jean Illsley Clarke

16.) Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.
Joan Crawford

17.) My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

18.) I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
Rodney Dangerfield

19.) Marriage is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.
Mae West

20.) A kiss is a rosy dot over the “i” of loving.
Cyrano de Bergerac

21.) My husband and I have never considered divorce – murder sometimes, but never divorce.
Dr. Joyce Brothers

Marriage Quotes Funny

22.) If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love.
Miles Davis

23.) Gravitation can’t be held responsible for people falling in love.
Albert Einstein

24.) Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you’d be surprised at the large number that re-enlists.
James Garner

25.) Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig, and then suddenly, he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.
Matt Groening

26.) I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner

27.) They say married men live longer. It just seems longer.
Bobby Slayton

28.) My wife and I have been married for almost a year. The first year’s the hardest, and the second’s even harder.
Tom Arnold

29.) People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
Bob Hope

Bob Hope on kissing quote.

Humorous Insights

30.) If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family.
Lawrence Housman

31.) Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death, do them join.
Elbert Hubbard

32.) Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
Franklin P. Jones

33.) Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else.
Jean Kerr

34.) If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
Alan King

Ring Lardner quote on syrupy look.

35.) He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle.
Ring Lardner

36.) If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something.
Fran Lebowitz

37.) Romantic love is a mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one.
Fran Lebowitz

38.) If I get married, I want to be very married.
Audrey Hepburn

39.) Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three meals a day and remembering to carry out the trash.
Joyce Brothers

Good Marriage Quotes for Happy Couples

40.) Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.
Emily Brontë

41.) The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they’re right if you love to be with them all of the time.
Julia Child

42.) We love the things we love for what they are.
Robert Frost

43.) Each day I love you more today than yesterday and less than tomorrow.
Rosemonde Gerard

44.) Where there is love, there is life.
Mahatma Gandhi

45.) Two souls with but a single thought. Two hearts that beat as one.
Friedrich Halm

46.) What a happy and holy fashion it is that those who love one another should rest on the same pillow.
Nathaniel Hawthorne

Good Marriage Sayings

47.) There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create.
John Lennon

48.) To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.
Ogden Nash

49.) You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
Dr. Seuss (Great marriage quotes can come from a children’s book author.)

See Most Romantic Marriage Proposals.

Best Marriage Quotations

50.) We can do no great things; only small things with great love.
Mother Teresa

51.) There is no remedy for love but to love more.
Henry David Thoreau

52.) To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
Mark Twain – for more of the top Mark Twain Quotations

53.) To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage
Lao Tzu

54.) There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.

55.) To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.
David Viscott

Check out What to Write in a Wedding Card

Inspirational Marriage Sayings

56.) Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
Lao Tzu

57.) Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.
Franz Schubert

58.) When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.
Richard Lewis

59.) If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools.
Katherine Mansfield

60.) I wasn’t kissing her; I was whispering in her mouth!
Chico Marx

61.) The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
H.V. Prochnow

Marriage looks easy quote.

62.) Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning a handspring or eating with chopsticks; it looks easy until you try it.
Helen Rowland

63.) Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it.
Phyllis Schlafly

64.) Love is sharing your popcorn.
Charles Schultz

65.) True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
Erich Segal

66.) By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.

67.) If love is the answer, could you rephrase the questions?
Lily Tomlin

68.) I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven’t had time for tobacco since.
Arturo Toscanini

Tip: Use these marriage quotes for captions on social media.

Quotations about Marriage

69.) Marriage is like a workshop where the man works and the woman shops.

70.) Car Manufacturer’s formula for a successful marriage: Stick to one model!

71.) A husband’s last words should always be, “Ok, buy it.”

72.) Where love is the case, the doctor is an ass.

73.) Five words for a successful marriage: “I’m sorry, it’s my fault.”

74.) Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.

75.) If you’re wrong and you shut up, you’re wise. If you’re right and you shut up, you’re married.

76.) To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.

77.) A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt.

78.) Love is a sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

79.) Don’t make love by the garden gate, love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t.

80.) I am a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me, and my name will soon be forgotten, but I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough.
Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

Marriage Quotes for Husbands

81.) We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Henny Youngman

82.) A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.

83.) The four most important words in any marriage: “I’ll do the dishes.”

84.) Never, under any circumstances, should you argue with a spouse who is currently packing your parachute!

85.) A good marriage is like a casserole – only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.

86.) Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.
Judith Viorst

87.) Love is the same as like, except you feel sexier.
Judith Viorst

88.) We were married for better or worse. I couldn’t have done better, and she couldn’t have done worse.
Henny Youngman

89.) Romance is the icing, but love is the cake.

Romance is the icing, but love is the cake.

For Wife

90.) What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility.
Leo Tolstoy

91.) Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet.

92.) The secret to a happy marriage is if you can be at peace with someone within four walls, if you are content because the one you love is near to you, either upstairs or downstairs, or in the same room, and you feel that warmth that you don’t find very often, then that is what love is all about.
Bruce Forsyth

Memorable Marriage Quotes

93.) Marriage is like watching the color of leaves in the fall; ever-changing and more stunningly beautiful with each passing day.
Fawn Weaver

94.) What greater thing is there for two human souls, than to feel that they are joined for life–to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting?
George Eliot

95.) There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.
Martin Luther

96.) When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
When Harry Met Sally

97.) Love, at first sight, is easy to understand; it’s when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle.
Sam Levenson

98.) To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow—this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.
Elizabeth Gilbert

99.) What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined for life – to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting?
George Eliot

100.) I love your feet because they have wandered over the earth and through the wind and water until they brought you to me.
Pablo Neruda

Soul Mates

101.) Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it be rather a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Kahlil Gibran

102.) I want all of you, forever, every day. You and me… every day.
Nicholas Sparks

103.) My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.
Winston Churchill

104.) The older you get, the more you realize that it isn’t about material things or pride or ego. It’s about our hearts and who they beat for.
J. Sterling

105.) Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, and penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.
Maya Angelou

106.) Marriage is a mosaic you build with your spouse. Millions of tiny moments that create your love story.
Jennifer Smith

Marital Advice

107.) A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
Mignon McLaughlin

108.) A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.
Andre Maurois

109.) Marriage, ultimately, is the practice of becoming passionate friends.
Harville Hendrix

110.) A good marriage is the union of two good forgivers.
Ruth Bell Graham

111.) A great marriage isn’t something that just happens; it’s something that must be created.
Fawn Weaver

112.) Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.
Fran Schubert

113.) A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.
Dave Meurer

Wedding Quotes

114.) A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

115.) Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.
Will Ferrell

116.) The difference between an ordinary marriage and an extraordinary marriage is in giving just a little extra every day, as often as possible, for as long as we both shall live.
Fawn Weave

117.) To find someone who will love you for no reason and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness.
Robert Brault

118.) Marriages are like fingerprints; each one is different, and each one is beautiful.
Maggie Reyes

Inspiring Marriage Advice

119.) The highest happiness on earth is marriage.
William Lyon Phelps

120.) Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years.
Simone Signoret

121.) Being in a long marriage is a little bit like that nice cup of coffee every morning – I might have it every day, but I still enjoy it.
Stephen Gaines

122.) It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
Fredrich Nietzsche

Happy Married Life Insights

Marriage quotes focusing on wedding bliss.

123.) There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.

124.) The greatest marriages are built on teamwork. A mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and a never-ending portion of love and grace.
Fawn Weaver

125.) In terms of my marriage, you know, falling in love with my husband was by far the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
Caroline Kennedy

126.) To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up.
Ogden Nash

127.) “The bride and groom — may their joys be as bright as the morning, and their sorrows but shadows that fade in the sunlight of love.
Minna Thomas Antrim

128.) Think not because you are now wed, that all your courtship’s at an end.
Antonio Hurtado de Mendoza

129.) A happy marriage doesn’t mean you have a perfect spouse or a perfect marriage. It simply means you’ve chosen to look beyond the imperfections in both.
Fawn Weaver

130.) Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.
Tom Mullen

131.) The older I get, the less time I want to spend with the part of the human race that didn’t marry me.
Robert Brault

132.) A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.
Robert Quillen

Short Marriage Quotes

133.) Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale.

134.) A hundred hearts would be too few to carry all my love for you.

135.) You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.

136.) I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone.
J. R. R. Tolkien

137.) Nobody has ever measured, even poets, how much a heart can hold.
Zelda Fitzgerald

138.) Loved you yesterday, love you still, always have, always will.
Elaine Davis

139.) A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
Brendan Francis

140.) I’ll be loving you, always with a love that’s true.
Patsy Cline

Concise Takes on Marriage

141.) A good marriage is like a casserole: only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.

142.) An archeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
Agatha Christie

143.) Soul meets soul on lovers’ lips.
Percy Bysshe Shelley

Please let us know if you have any suggestions for our marriage quotes on our Contact page.

By Mike O’Halloran

Mike is an author and founder of Greeting Card Poet.

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