Funny wedding wishes can brighten up the newlyweds’ day and let them know, in a humorous way, that you’re happy for them.
Life is too short to take everything so seriously. Weddings are joyous occasions – time to have some fun!
Funny Wedding Greetings
1.) Being married is like any other job; it helps if you like your boss.
2.) Your kids grow up and move out. Your husband never does. Just sayin’. Best wishes on your marriage.
3.) When two hearts love each other, don’t forget the prenuptial.
4.) Getting married is a two-way street. Do all you can to avoid head-on collisions.
5.) Future advice: the most effective way to remember your wedding anniversary is to forget it once.
6.) If it weren’t for marriages, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
7.) We put the party in the bridal party — Looking forward to your wedding—the Bridal Party.
8.) All dressed up and everywhere to go!
Funniest Lines for Wedding Cards
9.) A happy marriage depends on spouses saying this simple phrase, “Yes, Dear.”
10.) I couldn’t be happier for you to sign your life away.
11.) Three rings of marriage form your gift: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffeRING.
12.) Sharing is caring — but sometimes enough is enough.
13.) An incredible new chapter has begun. Best wishes to the happy couple.
14.) Let’s get ready to rumble! Congratulations, wedding participants.
15.) They say marriage is a great institution, and much like many types of institutions, you need to be crazy to get into it.
16.) Marriage is all about giving and taking – the more you give, the more he’ll take.
17.) Congrats on your marriage. Just remember, happiness is a very overrated feeling.
18.) Marriage is about communication and compromise. She’ll be doing the communication, and you’ll be making the compromise.
19.) More men get food poisoning from wedding cake than any other edible.
20.) Congrats on your wedding day! The free food and booze were great.
21.) A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.
You might like: What to Write in a Wedding Card.
Fun Wedding Greetings
These funny wedding wishes will make your card (and you) memorable.
22.) A person is incomplete without a spouse, but you’re finished with one. Happy married life!
23.) If the invitations suddenly disappear, eloping is an option.
24.) A blind wife and a deaf husband make a perfect couple.
25.) Your love-inspired wedding was a glorious occasion. Congrats.
26.) Let the fighting commence! Congratulations, married couple.
27.) Our wedding gift to you is two life preservers.
28.) It’s a blessing to find that special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Congratulations!
29.) Look, I know a good travel agent if either of you changes your mind. If not, have a wonderful wedding!
Check out: Engagement Congratulations Messages
Humorous Wedding Wishes
30.) It’s not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
31.) They say opposites attract – If that’s the case, this marriage could last for a very long time. Best wedding wishes.
32.) Before you’re married, you will fall madly in love with each other. After you’re married, you will be mad at each other. Oh well, best wishes for your wedding.
33.) Marriage: Where “Yes Dear” are the magic words.
34.) What do fun with the boys, out on the town, and parties have in common? Three things you won’t be doing after the wedding. Good luck.
35.) “Spending time with friends” will now be a distant memory.
36.) From single to married, from available to busy, from no worries to no money — Are you sure you want to do this?
37.) Like a well-constructed house, this marriage is built to last. Think of jewelry on birthdays as your insurance.
38.) Marriage is the equivalent of signing a marriage contract that does not allow you to renew it every year. Congratulations on a perfect pair.
Comical Words of Advice
39.) Welcome to a lifetime of remembering it’s not worth the fight, even if you’re always right.
40.) Getting married is like going to drama school. May there be more comedy than melodrama!
41.) Congratulations on becoming life partners. May the best player win.
42.) I have a chauffeur and a car ready at the gate if you change your mind. If not, have a wonderful wedding!
43.) Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.
44.) Marriage is a lot like a rollercoaster. It has its ups and downs, but it’s more fun when you’re screaming together.
Funny Sayings for the Happy Couple
More funny wedding wishes.
45.) Looking forward to the “having” and the “holding.”
46.) Bride: We finish each other — Groom: Sentences!
47.) Don’t hang wallpaper together when you love someone.
48.) Our life journey has just begun. Are we there yet?
49.) Your wedding marks the end of your love story and the start of a new headache.
50.) You’ve finally found someone who appreciates your weird jokes. Congrats!
51.) Wedding Love – Honeymoon Love More!
52.) Happy wedding day. Eat, drink, and be married! Check!
Messages for Newly Married Couples
53.) This is the beginning of the end for you. No more beers or nights out with the boys, but at least you have a loving wife. Congratulations!
54.) Getting married is like a class on Shakespeare. You get a little comedy, some romance, and a lot of tragedy. Congratulations.
55.) We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.
Funny Wedding Quotes
56.) The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
57.) Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
58.) I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she has her own way. And second, let her have it.
Lyndon B. Johnson
59.) Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you.
60.) Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.
61.) A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
62.) My wife dresses to kill; she cooks the same way.
63.) Marriage is like a game of chess. Except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke, and no move you make will affect the outcome.
64.) Love seems the swiftest but is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman knows what perfect love is until they have been married for a quarter of a century.
65.) Why do married people live longer than single people? I think it’s because married people make a special effort to live longer than their partner – just so they can have the last word.
Hilarious Wedding Messages
66.) You two weirdos were truly meant for each other. About time!
67.) Thanks for (the reception’s open bar) and for including us in the blessed event.
68.) In the sock drawer of relationships, you two make the perfect pair!
69.) I’m surprised she said “Yes,” to be honest, but hey, congrats!
70.) All because two nuts fell in love.
71.) Wow, I thought you two were already married.
72.) You both fell out of the lucky tree and hit every branch on the way down!
73.) You got hitched! Cool. Well done.
Short Wedding Wishes
74.) As Elvis said, “Somethings were meant to be.”
75.) You two got me all emotional and stuff. Who was cutting onions at the ceremony?
76.) And they lived happily ever after.
77.) Came for the couple and stayed for the cake.
78.) As they said in Frozen, “Some people are worth melting for.”
79.) The most beautiful newlyweds I ever did see.
80.) To love, laughter, and the happily ever after.
81.) Forever looks good on you two.
82.) You look like two peas in a pod.
83.) It’s been an emotional day. Even the cake is in tiers.
84.) With you off the market, I’ve improved my chances.
85.) Happily, ever after starts tomorrow. Tonight we party!
You may enjoy Wedding Quotes.
If you know of any funny wedding wishes you’d like to share, please send them our way! Thanks.
By Mike O’Halloran
Mike is the founder and editor of Greeting Card Poet.
You are on our Funny Wedding Wishes page.
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