Funny Monday Quotes and Phrases
These funny Monday quotes and phrases will help you get through that most difficult day of the week. You may also enjoy Monday sayings or funny Monday jokes.
Mondays are nothing less than nightmares for many people. It is not as much about the day as the fear of it. Every time you wake up on a Monday morning, you must have desired if you could turn the clock back 24 hours. Mondays are repelling and hated worldwide. Monday has been hated for so long that jokes and puns have been created around it.
These quotes may inspire you to look at Mondays differently. Okay, maybe not.
Monday Funny Quotes
1.) Either you run the day, or the day runs you.
Jim Rohn
2.) The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.
Elbert Hubbard
3.) Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.
Rebecca Gober
4.) People can be great competitors on Sunday and mates on Monday.
Casey Stoner
5.) Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.
Arthur Darvill
6.) Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
Steven Wright
7.) Even the best weeks start with Monday!
Nice Peter
Motivational Monday Quotations
8.) Make each day a masterpiece.
John Wooden
9.) The future depends on what you do today.
Mahatma Gandhi
10.) Don’t be afraid to fail; it’s proof you’ll soon be successful.
Barbara Corcoran
11.) A diamond is a chunk of coal that did well under pressure.
Henry Kissinger
12.) Guys, when you change your focus from the negative problem to the positive promise, your worries, doubt, and fear will diminish!
La Toya Jackson
13.) Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Henry Ford
14.) My mission in life is not merely to survive but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.
Maya Angelou
15.) Monday is for people with a mission.
Cristina Imre
16.) It’s Monday. Get a new perspective. Whatever obstacle you’re facing—it’s not permanent.
Unknown
Inspirational Monday Quotes
17.) All our dreams can come true—if we have the courage to pursue them.
Walt Disney
18.) Mondays are the start of the work week which offer new beginnings 52 times a year!
David Dweck
19.) Your Monday morning thoughts set the tone for your whole week. See yourself getting stronger and living a fulfilling, happier, and healthier life.
Germany Kent
20.) Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.
Will Rogers
21.) OK, it’s Monday, but who said Mondays have to suck? Be a rebel, and have a great day anyway.
Kimberly Jiménez
22.) But it’s also a new day and a new week. And in that lies a new opportunity for something special to happen.
Michael Ely
23.) Success is to wake up each morning and consciously decide that today will be the best day of your life.
Ken Poirot
24.) Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration. The rest of us just get up and go to work.
Stephen King
First Work Day
25.) You’re 100% responsible for your life. Stop whining and do something about it.
Mathieu Fortin
26.) A ship is always safe at shore, but that is not what it’s built for.
Albert Einstein
27.) We must become the change we want to see.
Mahatma Gandhi
28.) Don’t wait on perfect conditions for success to happen; just go ahead and do something.
Dan Miller
29.) There are seven days in a week, and someday isn’t one of them. Make it happen today!
King Bach
30.) Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out.
Art Linkletter
31.) What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.
Oscar Wilde
32.) The most motivating aspect of Monday is that Tuesday is just a day away.
John Maddox
33.) Hope is brightest when it dawns from fears.
Walter Scott
34.) Do the hard jobs first. The easy jobs will take care of themselves.
Dale Carnegie
35.) What if I fall? Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?
Erin Hanson
Tip: Use these funny Monday quotes for Instagram captions, Facebook posts, texts, emails, and more.
Funny Messages
36.) When people go to work, they shouldn’t leave their hearts at home.
37.) Monday is just a reminder that the weekend has passed, and there are only a few more days before another weekend gets here.
38.) Never make your favorite song the alarm for Monday morning; you’ll hate it for years.
39.) There should be a holiday dedicated to all the brave people who show up to work on Mondays.
40.) I can honestly say that I am likely to resemble a sloth when I crawl out of bed on Monday morning!
41.) May your Monday be as swift and merciful as an execution!
42.) Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear… Monday has been canceled, go back to sleep.
43.) Finally, the rare and elusive Monday we like.
44.) If each day is a gift. I’d like to know where I can return Mondays.
45.) If Mondays were shoes, they’d be crocs.
46.) With enough coffee, even a Monday looks good.
47.) Oh, come on. It’s Monday, not doomsday.
48.) Happy Monday! Or, as I like to think of it, pre-pre-pre-pre-Friday!
49.) God gave us Mondays to punish us for the things we did over the weekend.
50.) The best cure for insomnia is a Monday morning.
51.) Hangovers are bad; hangovers are even worse on a Monday morning.
52.) If Monday were a person, it wouldn’t have friends.
53.) If Monday had a face, I’d punch it.
54.) Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.
Enjoy some funny Tuesday quotes.
Hilarious Monday Quotes
55.) Monday is the root of all evil.
Unknown
56.) Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad and sometimes angry, and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.
Garry Moll
57.) On Monday mornings, I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.
H. Allen Smith
58.) If only one of the presidential candidates would make it part of his platform to do something about making Monday part of the weekend. I think he would get a lot of votes.
Thomas Wayne
59.) Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, and divide the happiness.
Unknown
60.) Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.
Jarod Kintz
61.) Why is Monday so far from Friday but Friday so close to Monday?
Unknown
62.) Don’t mess with anybody on a Monday. It’s a bad, bad day.
Louise Fitzhugh
63.) Mondays are a good day to make statements, not Fridays.
Ernie Els
64.) On Monday, when the sun is hot, I wonder to myself a lot. Now is it true, or is it not, that what is which and which is what?
A.A. Hodge
65.) If Monday was a haircut, it would be a mullet.
Unknown
66.) Listen to the silence. Listen to your life. Be present, not just think about what’s going on next week, next month.
Mike Dirnt
67.) A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed next week.
George S. Patton
New Week Quotes
68.) A new week means a new chance, a new opportunity. And a new day to prove yourself. So enjoy it.
69.) Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so you know just how much fun you can have. Then smash your clocks, so you won’t know when Monday starts.
70.) New Monday, New Week, And new Goals!
71.) A brand new week to laugh, love & shine your light!
72.) I hope this week will be like the week about which you will talk for many years!
73.) I’m pretty sure that it’s a universal truth that everybody hates office work after having the weekend off.
74.) Guess what? You have a brand new week ahead of you to slay dragons, achieve goals, sweat more, gripe less, and ditch the fear! Go!
75.) SMONDAY: The moment Sunday stops feeling like a Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.
New Day Uplifting Quotes
76.) The sun himself is weak when he first rises and gathers strength and courage as the day gets on.
Charles Dickens
77.) You can’t change what happened last week,
but you can learn from it
and choose happiness this week!
Anton K. Kressnig
78.) You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.
Andrea L’Artiste
79.) I must break the routines and become a person who becomes productive every Monday. I must break the mindset of unhappiness and turn myself into a happy magnet for Mondays.
Leggy Saul
80.) This is your Monday morning reminder that you can handle whatever this week throws at you.” “Monday, Monday, so good to me; Monday morning, it was all I hoped it would be.
John Phillips
81.) When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.
Dalai Lama
82.) You’ve got to get up every morning with determination if you’re going to go to bed with satisfaction.
George Lorimer
83.) Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends – but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.
Julio Alexi Genao
84.) What about Monday? That could be our one day we look at things the same way and wear funny shoes.
Kevin Dalton
Positive Quotes
85.) Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
Dalai Lama
86.) The most effective way to do it is to do it.
Amelia Earhart
87.) I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
Thomas Jefferson
88.) Today is your opportunity to build the tomorrow you want.
Ken Poirot
89.) Monday is for people with a mission. Those who favor vacations, not weekends.
Cristina Imre
90.) Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning.
Benjamin Franklin
91.) Begin the week with momentum, and you’ll look back with great satisfaction on all you achieved.
Skip Prichard
92.) When you arise in the morning, think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love.
Marcus Aurelius
93.) Morning is an important time of day because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.
Lemony Snicket
94.) Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value.
Albert Einstein
Good Morning Monday Quotes
95.) Mondays and Thursdays are the two hardest days of the week for me. Mondays because it’s the first day of the school week, and Thursdays because it’s not Friday!
Unknown
96.) Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.
Arthur Darvill
97.) Sometimes, it pays to stay in bed on Monday rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday’s code.
Dan Salomon
98.) It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.
Prince Rogers Nelson
99.) Sunday just came down like a nine-pound hammer … it was tainted with the closing-in feeling of the loss of freedom. Because after the sun went down, it came back up on Monday morning. And you had to go to work five more days. And it sucked.
Larry Brown
Funny Monday Morning Quotes
100.) My Week is like this: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.
Unknown
101.) Dear Monday. I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday.
Unknown
102.) Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
103.) When you start to do the things that you truly love, it wouldn’t matter whether it’s Monday or Friday; you would be so excited to wake up each morning to work on your passions.
Edmond Mbiaka
104.) In any given moment, we have two options: To step forward into growth or to step back into safety!
Abraham Maslow
105.) The biggest thrill wasn’t in winning on Sunday but in meeting the payroll on Monday.
Art Rooney
106.) Monday is the best day of the week because it’s always followed by Tuesday.
Jay Leno
Monday Blues
107.) Mondays are the potholes in the road of life.
Tom Wilson
108.) With the right mindset, you can be just as happy on Monday as on a Friday. Joel Osteen
109.) Monday is a state of mind. Put on your positive pants and get stuff done.
Unknown
110.) Don’t let a day of the week have so much power over your happiness. Happy Monday!
Andrea L’Artiste
111.) Monday is the day to unleash the stamina built up after a relaxing weekend.
Unknown
By Michael O’Halloran
Michael O’Halloran founded Greeting Card Poet in 2014 and has worked as its publisher and editor ever since. He has co-authored four books on kids’ trivia and four on coaching. Previously, Michael was the president of Magnetic Poetry. He has invented and brought over 75 new gift and toy products to market, most of which deal with wordplay. Mike is married and a father of four daughters.
Etcetera
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