These funny Monday quotes and phrases are sure to help you get through that most difficult day of the week. You may also enjoy Monday sayings or funny Monday jokes.
Mondays are nothing less than nightmares for many people. It is not as much about the day as the fear of it. Every time you wake up on a Monday morning, you must have desired if you could turn the clock back 24 hours. Mondays are repelling and hated worldwide. Monday has been hated for so long that jokes and puns have been created around it.
Maybe, just maybe, these quotes may inspire you to look at Mondays in a different way. Okay, maybe not.
Monday Funny Quotes
Either you run the day, or the day runs you.
When people go to work, they shouldn’t leave their hearts at home!
The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.
Monday is just a reminder that the weekend has passed, and there are only a few more days before another weekend gets here.
Never make your favorite song the alarm for Monday morning; you’ll hate it for years.
Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.
Monday Motivational Quotations
Make each day a masterpiece.
The future depends on what you do today.
Don’t be afraid to fail; it’s proof you’ll soon be successful.
A diamond is a chunk of coal that did well under pressure.
Guys, when you change your focus from the negative problem to the positive promise, your worries, doubt, and fear will diminish!
La Toya Jackson
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
My mission in life is not merely to survive but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.
Monday is for people with a mission.
It’s Monday. Get a new perspective. Whatever obstacle you’re facing—it’s not permanent.
Inspirational Monday Quotes
All our dreams can come true—if we have the courage to pursue them.
Mondays are the start of the work week which offer new beginnings 52 times a year!
Your Monday morning thoughts set the tone for your whole week. See yourself getting stronger and living a fulfilling, happier, and healthier life.
Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.
OK, it’s Monday, but who said Mondays have to suck? Be a rebel, and have a great day anyway.
But it’s also a new day and a new week. And in that lies a new opportunity for something special to happen.
Success is to wake up each morning and consciously decide that today will be the best day of your life.
Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration. The rest of us just get up and go to work.
First Work Day
You’re 100% responsible for your life. Stop whining and do something about it.
A ship is always safe at shore, but that is not what it’s built for.
We must become the change we want to see.
Don’t wait on perfect conditions for success to happen; just go ahead and do something.
There are 7 days in a week, and someday isn’t one of them. Make it happen today!
Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out.
What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.
The most motivating aspect of Monday is that Tuesday is just a day away.
Hope is brightest when it dawns from fears.
Do the hard jobs first. The easy jobs will take care of themselves.
What if I fall? Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?
Tip: Use these funny Monday quotes for Instagram captions, Facebook posts, texts, emails and more.
Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.
There should be a holiday dedicated to all the brave people who show up to work on Mondays.
I can honestly say that I am likely to resemble a sloth when I crawl out of bed on Monday morning!
May your Monday be as swift and merciful as an execution!
Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear… Monday has been canceled, go back to sleep.
People can be great competitors on Sunday and mates on Monday.
Finally, the rare and elusive Monday we like.
If each day is a gift. I’d like to know where I can return Mondays.
If Mondays were shoes, they’d be crocs.
With enough coffee, even a Monday looks good.
Oh, come on. It’s Monday, not doomsday.
Happy Monday! Or, as I like to think of it, pre-pre-pre-pre-Friday!
God gave us Mondays to punish us for the things we did over the weekend.
The best cure for insomnia is a Monday morning.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
Even the best weeks start with Monday!
Hangovers are bad; hangovers are even worse on a Monday morning.
If Monday were a person, it wouldn’t have friends.
Enjoy some funny Tuesday quotes.
If Monday had a face, I’d punch it.
Monday is the root of all evil.
Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad and sometimes angry, and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.
On Monday mornings, I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.
H. Allen Smith
If only one of the presidential candidates would make it part of his platform to do something about making Monday part of the weekend. I think he would get a lot of votes.
Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, and divide the happiness.
Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.
Why is Monday so far from Friday but Friday so close to Monday?
Don’t mess with anybody on a Monday. It’s a bad, bad day.
Mondays are a good day to make statements, not Fridays.
On Monday, when the sun is hot, I wonder to myself a lot. Now is it true, or is it not, that what is which and which is what?
Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so you know just how much fun you can have. Then smash your clocks, so you won’t know when Monday starts.
New Week Quotes
A new week means a new chance, a new opportunity.
And a new day to prove yourself. So enjoy it.
A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed next week.
George S. Patton
Listen to the silence. Listen to your life. Be present, not just think about what’s going on next week, next month.
And new Goals!
A brand new week to laugh, love & shine your light!
I hope this week will be like the week about which you will talk for many years!
I’m pretty sure that it’s a universal truth that everybody hates office work after having the weekend off.
You have a brand new week ahead of you to slay dragons, achieve goals, sweat more, gripe less and ditch the fear! Go!
May this new week bring different blessings into your life!
When you start to do the things that you truly love, it wouldn’t matter whether it’s Monday or Friday; you would be so excited to wake up each morning to work on your passions.
In any given moment, we have two options: To step forward into growth or to step back into safety!
The biggest thrill wasn’t in winning on Sunday but in meeting the payroll on Monday.
New Day Uplifting Quotes
The sun himself is weak when he first rises and gathers strength and courage as the day gets on.
You can’t change what happened last week,
but you can learn from it
and choose happiness this week!
Anton K. Kressnig
You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.
I must break the routines and become a person who becomes productive every Monday. I must break the mindset of unhappiness and turn myself into a happy magnet for Mondays.
This is your Monday morning reminder that you can handle whatever this week throws at you.” “Monday, Monday, so good to me; Monday morning, it was all I hoped it would be.
When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.
You’ve got to get up every morning with determination if you’re going to go to bed with satisfaction.
Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends – but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.
Julio Alexi Genao
What about Monday? That could be our one day we look at things the same way and wear funny shoes.
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
The most effective way to do it is to do it.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
Today is your opportunity to build the tomorrow you want.
Monday is for people with a mission. Those who favor vacations, not weekends.
Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning. Benjamin Franklin
Begin the week with momentum, and you’ll look back with great satisfaction on all you achieved.
When you arise in the morning, think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love.
Morning is an important time of day because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.
Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value.
Good Morning Monday Quotes
Mondays and Thursdays are the two hardest days of the week for me. Mondays because it’s the first day of the school week, and Thursdays because it’s not Friday!
Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.
Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday’s code.
It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.
Prince Rogers Nelson
Sunday just came down like a nine-pound hammer … it was tainted with the closing-in feeling of the loss of freedom. Because after the sun went down, it came back up on Monday morning. And you had to go to work five more days. And it sucked.
Funny Monday Morning Quotes
My Week is like this: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.
Dear Monday. I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday.
Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays.
Monday is the best day of the week because it’s always followed by Tuesday.
By Mike O’Halloran
Mike is the founder and editor of Greeting Card Poet.
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