Funny Monday Quotes and Phrases

These funny Monday quotes and phrases are sure to help you get through that most difficult day of the week. You may also enjoy Monday sayings or funny Monday jokes.

Mondays are nothing less than nightmares for many people. It is not as much about the day as the fear of it. Every time you wake up on a Monday morning, you must have desired if you could turn the clock back 24 hours. Mondays are repelling and hated worldwide. Monday has been hated for so long that jokes and puns have been created around it.

Maybe, just maybe, these quotes may inspire you to look at Mondays in a different way. Okay, maybe not.

Monday Funny Quotes

Either you run the day, or the day runs you.
Jim Rohn

When people go to work, they shouldn’t leave their hearts at home!

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.
Elbert Hubbard

Monday is just a reminder that the weekend has passed, and there are only a few more days before another weekend gets here.

Never make your favorite song the alarm for Monday morning; you’ll hate it for years.

Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.
Rebecca Gober

Funny Monday Quotes.

Monday Motivational Quotations

Make each day a masterpiece.
John Wooden

The future depends on what you do today.
Mahatma Gandhi

Don’t be afraid to fail; it’s proof you’ll soon be successful.
Barbara Corcoran

A diamond is a chunk of coal that did well under pressure.
Henry Kissinger

Guys, when you change your focus from the negative problem to the positive promise, your worries, doubt, and fear will diminish!
La Toya Jackson

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Henry Ford

My mission in life is not merely to survive but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.
Maya Angelou

Monday is for people with a mission.
Cristina Imre

It’s Monday. Get a new perspective. Whatever obstacle you’re facing—it’s not permanent.

Inspirational Monday Quotes

All our dreams can come true—if we have the courage to pursue them.
Walt Disney

Mondays are the start of the work week which offer new beginnings 52 times a year!
David Dweck

Your Monday morning thoughts set the tone for your whole week. See yourself getting stronger and living a fulfilling, happier, and healthier life.
Germany Kent

Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.
Will Rogers

OK, it’s Monday, but who said Mondays have to suck? Be a rebel, and have a great day anyway.
Kimberly Jiménez

But it’s also a new day and a new week. And in that lies a new opportunity for something special to happen.
Michael Ely

Success is to wake up each morning and consciously decide that today will be the best day of your life.
Ken Poirot

Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration. The rest of us just get up and go to work.
Stephen King

First Work Day

You’re 100% responsible for your life. Stop whining and do something about it.
Mathieu Fortin

A ship is always safe at shore, but that is not what it’s built for.
Albert Einstein

We must become the change we want to see.
Mahatma Gandhi

Don’t wait on perfect conditions for success to happen; just go ahead and do something.
Dan Miller

There are 7 days in a week, and someday isn’t one of them. Make it happen today!
King Bach

Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out.
Art Linkletter

What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.
Oscar Wilde

The most motivating aspect of Monday is that Tuesday is just a day away.
John Maddox

Hope is brightest when it dawns from fears.
Walter Scott

Do the hard jobs first. The easy jobs will take care of themselves.
Dale Carnegie

What if I fall? Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?
Erin Hanson

Tip: Use these funny Monday quotes for Instagram captions, Facebook posts, texts, emails and more.


Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.
Arthur Darvill

There should be a holiday dedicated to all the brave people who show up to work on Mondays.

I can honestly say that I am likely to resemble a sloth when I crawl out of bed on Monday morning!

May your Monday be as swift and merciful as an execution!

Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear… Monday has been canceled, go back to sleep.

People can be great competitors on Sunday and mates on Monday.
Casey Stoner

Finally, the rare and elusive Monday we like.

If each day is a gift. I’d like to know where I can return Mondays.

If Mondays were shoes, they’d be crocs.

With enough coffee, even a Monday looks good.

Oh, come on. It’s Monday, not doomsday.

Happy Monday! Or, as I like to think of it, pre-pre-pre-pre-Friday!

God gave us Mondays to punish us for the things we did over the weekend.

The best cure for insomnia is a Monday morning.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
Steven Wright

Even the best weeks start with Monday!
Nice Peter

Hangovers are bad; hangovers are even worse on a Monday morning.

If Monday were a person, it wouldn’t have friends.

Enjoy some funny Tuesday quotes.


If Monday had a face, I’d punch it.

Monday is the root of all evil.

Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad and sometimes angry, and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.
Garry Moll

On Monday mornings, I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.
H. Allen Smith

If only one of the presidential candidates would make it part of his platform to do something about making Monday part of the weekend. I think he would get a lot of votes.
Thomas Wayne

Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, and divide the happiness.

Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.
Jarod Kintz

Why is Monday so far from Friday but Friday so close to Monday?

Don’t mess with anybody on a Monday. It’s a bad, bad day.
Louise Fitzhugh

Mondays are a good day to make statements, not Fridays.
Ernie Els

On Monday, when the sun is hot, I wonder to myself a lot. Now is it true, or is it not, that what is which and which is what?
A.A. Hodge

Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so you know just how much fun you can have. Then smash your clocks, so you won’t know when Monday starts.

New Week Quotes

A new week means a new chance, a new opportunity.
And a new day to prove yourself. So enjoy it.

A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed next week.
George S. Patton

Listen to the silence. Listen to your life. Be present, not just think about what’s going on next week, next month.
Mike Dirnt

New Monday,
New Week,
And new Goals!

A brand new week to laugh, love & shine your light!

I hope this week will be like the week about which you will talk for many years!

I’m pretty sure that it’s a universal truth that everybody hates office work after having the weekend off.

Guess what?
You have a brand new week ahead of you to slay dragons, achieve goals, sweat more, gripe less and ditch the fear! Go!

May this new week bring different blessings into your life!

When you start to do the things that you truly love, it wouldn’t matter whether it’s Monday or Friday; you would be so excited to wake up each morning to work on your passions.
Edmond Mbiaka

In any given moment, we have two options: To step forward into growth or to step back into safety!
Abraham Maslow

The biggest thrill wasn’t in winning on Sunday but in meeting the payroll on Monday.
Art Rooney

New Day Uplifting Quotes

The sun himself is weak when he first rises and gathers strength and courage as the day gets on.
Charles Dickens

You can’t change what happened last week,
but you can learn from it
and choose happiness this week!
Anton K. Kressnig

You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.
Andrea L’Artiste

I must break the routines and become a person who becomes productive every Monday. I must break the mindset of unhappiness and turn myself into a happy magnet for Mondays.
Leggy Saul

This is your Monday morning reminder that you can handle whatever this week throws at you.” “Monday, Monday, so good to me; Monday morning, it was all I hoped it would be.
John Phillips

When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.
Dalai Lama

You’ve got to get up every morning with determination if you’re going to go to bed with satisfaction.
George Lorimer

Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends – but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.
Julio Alexi Genao

What about Monday? That could be our one day we look at things the same way and wear funny shoes.
Kevin Dalton

Positive Quotes

Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
Dalai Lama

The most effective way to do it is to do it.
Amelia Earhart

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
Thomas Jefferson

Today is your opportunity to build the tomorrow you want.
Ken Poirot

Monday is for people with a mission. Those who favor vacations, not weekends.
Cristina Imre

Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning. Benjamin Franklin

Begin the week with momentum, and you’ll look back with great satisfaction on all you achieved.
Skip Prichard

When you arise in the morning, think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love.
Marcus Aurelius

Morning is an important time of day because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.
Lemony Snicket

Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value.
Albert Einstein

Good Morning Monday Quotes

Mondays and Thursdays are the two hardest days of the week for me. Mondays because it’s the first day of the school week, and Thursdays because it’s not Friday!

Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.
Arthur Darvill

Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday’s code.
Dan Salomon

It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.
Prince Rogers Nelson

Sunday just came down like a nine-pound hammer … it was tainted with the closing-in feeling of the loss of freedom. Because after the sun went down, it came back up on Monday morning. And you had to go to work five more days. And it sucked.
Larry Brown

Funny Monday Morning Quotes

My Week is like this: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.

Dear Monday. I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday.

Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Monday is the best day of the week because it’s always followed by Tuesday.
Jay Leno

By Michael O’Halloran

Michael is the founder and editor of Greeting Card Poet.


If you have recommendations for funny Monday quotes and phrases, please let us know via the Contact page. Thanks.

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