Funny Monday Quotes and Phrases
These funny Monday quotes and phrases are sure to help you get through that most difficult day of the week. You may also enjoy Monday sayings or funny Monday jokes.
Mondays are nothing less than nightmares for many people. It is not as much about the day as the fear of it. Every time you wake up on a Monday morning, you must have desired if you could turn the clock back 24 hours. Mondays are repelling and hated worldwide. Monday has been hated for so long that jokes and puns have been created around it.
Maybe, just maybe, these quotes may inspire you to look at Mondays in a different way. Okay, maybe not.
Monday Funny Quotes
Either you run the day, or the day runs you.
Jim Rohn
When people go to work, they shouldn’t leave their hearts at home!
The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.
Elbert Hubbard
Monday is just a reminder that the weekend has passed, and there are only a few more days before another weekend gets here.
Never make your favorite song the alarm for Monday morning; you’ll hate it for years.
Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.
Rebecca Gober
Monday Motivational Quotations
Make each day a masterpiece.
John Wooden
The future depends on what you do today.
Mahatma Gandhi
Don’t be afraid to fail; it’s proof you’ll soon be successful.
Barbara Corcoran
A diamond is a chunk of coal that did well under pressure.
Henry Kissinger
Guys, when you change your focus from the negative problem to the positive promise, your worries, doubt, and fear will diminish!
La Toya Jackson
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Henry Ford
My mission in life is not merely to survive but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.
Maya Angelou
Monday is for people with a mission.
Cristina Imre
It’s Monday. Get a new perspective. Whatever obstacle you’re facing—it’s not permanent.
Unknown
Inspirational Monday Quotes
All our dreams can come true—if we have the courage to pursue them.
Walt Disney
Mondays are the start of the work week which offer new beginnings 52 times a year!
David Dweck
Your Monday morning thoughts set the tone for your whole week. See yourself getting stronger and living a fulfilling, happier, and healthier life.
Germany Kent
Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.
Will Rogers
OK, it’s Monday, but who said Mondays have to suck? Be a rebel, and have a great day anyway.
Kimberly Jiménez
But it’s also a new day and a new week. And in that lies a new opportunity for something special to happen.
Michael Ely
Success is to wake up each morning and consciously decide that today will be the best day of your life.
Ken Poirot
Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration. The rest of us just get up and go to work.
Stephen King
First Work Day
You’re 100% responsible for your life. Stop whining and do something about it.
Mathieu Fortin
A ship is always safe at shore, but that is not what it’s built for.
Albert Einstein
We must become the change we want to see.
Mahatma Gandhi
Don’t wait on perfect conditions for success to happen; just go ahead and do something.
Dan Miller
There are 7 days in a week, and someday isn’t one of them. Make it happen today!
King Bach
Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out.
Art Linkletter
What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.
Oscar Wilde
The most motivating aspect of Monday is that Tuesday is just a day away.
John Maddox
Hope is brightest when it dawns from fears.
Walter Scott
Do the hard jobs first. The easy jobs will take care of themselves.
Dale Carnegie
What if I fall? Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?
Erin Hanson
Tip: Use these funny Monday quotes for Instagram captions, Facebook posts, texts, emails and more.
Funny
Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.
Arthur Darvill
There should be a holiday dedicated to all the brave people who show up to work on Mondays.
I can honestly say that I am likely to resemble a sloth when I crawl out of bed on Monday morning!
May your Monday be as swift and merciful as an execution!
Unknown
Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear… Monday has been canceled, go back to sleep.
People can be great competitors on Sunday and mates on Monday.
Casey Stoner
Finally, the rare and elusive Monday we like.
If each day is a gift. I’d like to know where I can return Mondays.
If Mondays were shoes, they’d be crocs.
With enough coffee, even a Monday looks good.
Oh, come on. It’s Monday, not doomsday.
Happy Monday! Or, as I like to think of it, pre-pre-pre-pre-Friday!
God gave us Mondays to punish us for the things we did over the weekend.
Unknown
The best cure for insomnia is a Monday morning.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
Steven Wright
Even the best weeks start with Monday!
Nice Peter
Hangovers are bad; hangovers are even worse on a Monday morning.
If Monday were a person, it wouldn’t have friends.
Enjoy some funny Tuesday quotes.
Hilarious
If Monday had a face, I’d punch it.
Monday is the root of all evil.
Unknown
Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad and sometimes angry, and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.
Garry Moll
On Monday mornings, I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.
H. Allen Smith
If only one of the presidential candidates would make it part of his platform to do something about making Monday part of the weekend. I think he would get a lot of votes.
Thomas Wayne
Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, and divide the happiness.
Unknown
Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.
Jarod Kintz
Why is Monday so far from Friday but Friday so close to Monday?
Unknown
Don’t mess with anybody on a Monday. It’s a bad, bad day.
Louise Fitzhugh
Mondays are a good day to make statements, not Fridays.
Ernie Els
On Monday, when the sun is hot, I wonder to myself a lot. Now is it true, or is it not, that what is which and which is what?
A.A. Hodge
Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so you know just how much fun you can have. Then smash your clocks, so you won’t know when Monday starts.
New Week Quotes
A new week means a new chance, a new opportunity.
And a new day to prove yourself. So enjoy it.
A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed next week.
George S. Patton
Listen to the silence. Listen to your life. Be present, not just think about what’s going on next week, next month.
Mike Dirnt
New Monday,
New Week,
And new Goals!
A brand new week to laugh, love & shine your light!
I hope this week will be like the week about which you will talk for many years!
I’m pretty sure that it’s a universal truth that everybody hates office work after having the weekend off.
Guess what?
You have a brand new week ahead of you to slay dragons, achieve goals, sweat more, gripe less and ditch the fear! Go!
May this new week bring different blessings into your life!
When you start to do the things that you truly love, it wouldn’t matter whether it’s Monday or Friday; you would be so excited to wake up each morning to work on your passions.
Edmond Mbiaka
In any given moment, we have two options: To step forward into growth or to step back into safety!
Abraham Maslow
The biggest thrill wasn’t in winning on Sunday but in meeting the payroll on Monday.
Art Rooney
New Day Uplifting Quotes
The sun himself is weak when he first rises and gathers strength and courage as the day gets on.
Charles Dickens
You can’t change what happened last week,
but you can learn from it
and choose happiness this week!
Anton K. Kressnig
You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.
Andrea L’Artiste
I must break the routines and become a person who becomes productive every Monday. I must break the mindset of unhappiness and turn myself into a happy magnet for Mondays.
Leggy Saul
This is your Monday morning reminder that you can handle whatever this week throws at you.” “Monday, Monday, so good to me; Monday morning, it was all I hoped it would be.
John Phillips
When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.
Dalai Lama
You’ve got to get up every morning with determination if you’re going to go to bed with satisfaction.
George Lorimer
Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends – but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.
Julio Alexi Genao
What about Monday? That could be our one day we look at things the same way and wear funny shoes.
Kevin Dalton
Positive Quotes
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
Dalai Lama
The most effective way to do it is to do it.
Amelia Earhart
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
Thomas Jefferson
Today is your opportunity to build the tomorrow you want.
Ken Poirot
Monday is for people with a mission. Those who favor vacations, not weekends.
Cristina Imre
Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning. Benjamin Franklin
Begin the week with momentum, and you’ll look back with great satisfaction on all you achieved.
Skip Prichard
When you arise in the morning, think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love.
Marcus Aurelius
Morning is an important time of day because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.
Lemony Snicket
Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value.
Albert Einstein
Good Morning Monday Quotes
Mondays and Thursdays are the two hardest days of the week for me. Mondays because it’s the first day of the school week, and Thursdays because it’s not Friday!
Unknown
Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.
Arthur Darvill
Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday’s code.
Dan Salomon
It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.
Prince Rogers Nelson
Sunday just came down like a nine-pound hammer … it was tainted with the closing-in feeling of the loss of freedom. Because after the sun went down, it came back up on Monday morning. And you had to go to work five more days. And it sucked.
Larry Brown
Funny Monday Morning Quotes
My Week is like this: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.
Unknown
Dear Monday. I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday.
Unknown
Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Monday is the best day of the week because it’s always followed by Tuesday.
Jay Leno
By Mike O’Halloran
Mike is the founder and editor of Greeting Card Poet.
Etcetera
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