Chocolate Quotes: The Funny and Famous
Here’s a satisfying collection of chocolate quotes to tempt you.
The “food of the gods” chocolate has been unmatched in history for its taste and importance. Its history goes back to over 4,000 years. Cocoa beans were once powdered and mixed with honey, spices, chili peppers, vanilla, and water to prepare a frothy drink and savored by the civilizations in Central America.
Whether it’s a gift, a treat, a symbol of your love, or a personal indulgence, chocolates can be defined in every way. And, lots of folks express their love of chocolate in some well-written verse as with these chocolate quotes. Read on.
Famous Quotes About Chocolate
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.
Charles M. Schulz
Forget love — I’d rather fall in chocolate!
Unknown
Nine out of ten people like chocolate. The tenth person always lies.
Unknown
Chocolate says I’m sorry so much better than words.
Rachel Vincent
Good Chocolate Quotes
Anything is good if it’s made of chocolate.
Jo Brand
Chocolate is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.
Unknown
Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. Bitter. Sweet. Alive.
Joanne Harris
God gave the angels wings, and he gave humans chocolate.
Unknown
Chocolate Lovers Quotes
As with most fine things, chocolate has its season. There is a simple memory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time to order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A, E, or U is the proper time for chocolate.
Sandra Boynton
There are four basic food groups: milk chocolate,dark chocolate, white chocolate, and chocolate truffles.
Unknown
I never met a chocolate I could not eat.
Danielle Steel
Quotes Chocolate
Look, there’s no metaphysics on earth like chocolates.
Fernando Pessoa
Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate.
Sandra Boynton
If there’s no chocolate in Heaven, I’m not going.
Jane Seabrook
Caramels are only a fad. Chocolate is a permanent thing.
Milton Hershey
Nothing is more romantic than chocolate.
Ted Allen
The Greeks and Shakespeare wrote the greatest tragedies…neither knew chocolate.
Sandra Boynton
Switzerland is a place where they don’t like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.
Brooklynite Larry David
See Candy Quotes and Captions.
Chocolate Craving Quotes
Even a small amount of dark chocolate can be exquisitely satisfying if you meditate on it.
Dean Ornish
When I have bad days, I just eat lots of chocolate ice cream and dance to the ‘Lion King’ soundtrack. It’s really odd, but it’s true.
Blake Lively
Moderation, honey, in all things but love and chocolate. That’s my motto.
Barbara Bretton
You might like our National Chocolate Day Captions and Jokes.
Chocolate Sayings
Biochemically, love is just like eating large amounts of chocolate.
John Milton
What use are cartridges in battle? I always carry chocolate instead.
George Bernard Shaw
The way to a woman’s heart is through truth and trust. Well, all except mine. Mine is through chocolate.
Taylor E. Bennet
My favorite thing in the world is a box of fine European chocolates, which is, for sure, better than sex.
Alicia Silverstone
Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. Bitter. Sweet. Alive.
Joanne Harris
There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who love chocolate and communists.
Leslie Moak Murray
Stress wouldn’t be so hard to take if it were chocolate-covered.
Unknown
Chocolate Fun Fact
It takes about 400 cocoa beans to make a pound of chocolate. Think of how many cocoa beans are in your kitchen to make your annual chocolate consumption a reality.
Box of Chocolates Quote from Forrest Gump
Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.
Tom Hanks (Forrest Gump)
Chocolate Insights
Chocolate makes everyone smile – even bankers.
Benneville Strohecker
Money talks. Chocolate sings.
Unknown
Chocolate is the first luxury. It has so many things wrapped up in it: deliciousness at the moment, childhood memories, and that grin-inducing feeling of getting a reward for being good.
Mariska Hargitay
If you are not feeling well, if you have not slept, chocolate will revive you. But you have no chocolate! I think of that again and again! My dear, how will you ever manage?
Marquise de Sévigné
If singing was a color, it would’ve been the color of that chocolate.
Kathryn Stockett
Any sane person loves chocolate.
Bob Greene
After eating chocolate, you feel godlike, as though you can conquer enemies, lead armies, entice lovers.
Emily Luchetti
What kind of monster could possibly hate chocolate?
Cassandra Clare
Life without chocolate is life lacking something important.
Marcia Colman Morton & Frederic Morton
What’s your favorite type of chocolate: milk or dark?
Charlie & The Chocolate Factory
We have so much time and so little to see.
Try some more. The Strawberries taste like strawberries.
Bubbles, bubbles everywhere, but not a drop to drink.
We are the Music Makers, and we are the Dreamers of Dreams
So shines a good deed in a weary world.
If you want to view paradise, look around and view it. Anything you want to, do it. Want to change the world? There’s nothing to it.
You really shouldn’t mumble because I can’t understand a word you’re saying.
A little nonsense, now and then, is relished by the wisest men.
There is no life I know to compare with pure imagination. Living there, you’ll be free if you truly wish to be.
For some moments in life, There are no words.
There’s no earthly way of knowing which direction we are going.
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
See Brownie Quotes, Jokes, and Captions.
Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory
If the good Lord had intended us to walk, he wouldn’t have invented roller-skates.
Willy Wonka: Where is fancy bred, in the heart or in the head?
Everything inside is eatable, I mean edible, I mean you can eat everything.
Charlie: What was that we just went through?
Wonka: Hsawaknow.
Mrs. Teevee: Is that Japanese?
Wonka: No, that’s Wonkawash spelled backward.
Willy Wonka: So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it.
Mrs. Gloop: My son! He’ll be made into marshmallows in five seconds!
Wonka: Impossible, my dear lady! That’s absurd! Unthinkable!
Mrs. Gloop: Why?!
Wonka: Because that pipe doesn’t go to the marshmallow room! It goes to the fudge room!
Mrs. Gloop: You terrible man!
Willy Wonka: And Charlie, don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he’d ever wished for.
Charlie: What happened?
Willy Wonka: He lived happily ever after.
Willy Wonka: Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple.
Mrs. Teevee: That’s 105 percent!
Chocolate Fun Fact
Most cocoa comes from West Africa.
Funny Chocolate Quotes
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay.
Marcia Carrington
Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don’t need an appointment.
Catherine Aitken
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far, I’ve finished two bags of M&M’s and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
Dave Barry
Don’t wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty…
Lora Brody
Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world’s perfect food.
Michael Levine
Chocolate: the poor man’s champagne.
Daniel Worona
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can’t remember what they are.
Matt Lauer
If I die eating chocolate, I’ll die happy.
Cailey Sims
Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands – and then eat just one of the pieces.
Judith Viorst
Chocolate Fun Fact
German chocolate cake was named after Sam German. He developed a sweet bar for Baker’s Chocolate, and he was not from Germany.
For more chocolate fun facts, visit the National Confectioners Association.
Funny Takes on Chocolate
Exercise is a dirty word… Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
Charles M. Schultz
Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.
Truman Capote
Make a list of important things to do today. At the top of your list, put eat chocolate. Now, you’ll get at least one thing done today.
Gina Hayes
I never met a chocolate I didn’t like.
Deanna Troi
Save the earth. It’s the only planet with chocolate!
Unknown
The 12-Step Chocolate Program: Never Be More Than 12 Steps Away From Chocolate!
Terry Moore
It’s not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Chocolate is, let’s face it, far more reliable than a man.
Miranda Ingram
Tip: These chocolate quotes make great captions for photos on Facebook or Instagram.
Hot Chocolate
The superiority of chocolate (hot chocolate), both for health and nourishment, will soon give it the same preference over tea and coffee in America, which it has in Spain.
Thomas Jefferson
(Ok, not all chocolate quotes turn out to be accurate – but still interesting.)
The divine drink, which builds up resistance and fights fatigue. A cup of this precious drink (cocoa) permits a man to walk for a whole day without food.
Montezuma (Aztec Emperor)
Fruit of all the kinds that the country produced were laid before him; he ate very little, but from time to time a liquor prepared from cocoa, and of an aphrodisiac nature, as we were told, was presented to him in golden cups…..I observed a number of jars, above fifty, brought in, filled with foaming chocolate. Of which he took some…..
Bernal Diaz del Castillo describing emperor Montezuma (Aztec Emperor)
Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first but keeps you warm for a long time.
Henri Frederic Amiel
Hot chocolate is like a hug from the inside.
Unknown
Chocolatey Quotations
Blustery cold days should be spend propped up in bed with a mug of hot chocolate and a pile of comic books.
Bill Watterson
On hot chocolate: It flatters you for a while, it warms you for an instant; then, all of a sudden, it kindles a mortal fever in you.
Marie, Marquise de Sévigné
He stared at his hot chocolate like it held the secret to the universe.
Lilith Saintcrow
The world won’t get more or less terrible if we’re indoors somewhere with a mug of hot chocolate,’ ‘Though it’s possible, it will seem slightly less terrible if there are marshmallows in the hot chocolate.
Kamila Shamsie
Strength is the capacity to break a Hershey bar into four pieces with your bare hands – and then eat just one of the pieces.
Judith Viorst
Always serve too much hot fudge sauce on hot fudge sundaes. It makes people overjoyed and puts them in your debt.
Judith Olney
Delicious Chocolate Quotes
What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate.
Katharine Hepburn
Chocolate is a perfect food, as wholesome as it is delicious, a beneficent restorer of exhausted power. It is the best friend of those engaged in literary pursuits.
Baron Justus von Liebig
Wherever chocolate is made, chocolate is chocolate. And any month that contains the letter a, e, i, o, or u is the proper time to share it with others.
David Augsburger
Life is like chocolate: you should enjoy it piece for piece and let it slowly melt on your tongue.
Nina Samdmann
May your life be filled, as mine has been, with love and laughter; and remember, when things are rough all you need is chocolate.
Geraldine Solon
Comforting Chocolate Quotes
Chocolate is a gift of love to yourself.
Sonja Blumenthal
Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love.
Karl Petzke
Once we hit forty, women only have about taste buds left: one for vodka, one for wine, one for cheese, and one for chocolate.
Gina Barreca
Chocolate makes everyone happy. Sharing chocolates with others is a form of communication that says, You can share all your sweet and dark secrets with me.
Ruchi Prabhu
I’m pretty sure that eating chocolate keeps wrinkles away because I have never seen a 10-year-old with a Hershey bar and crow’s feet.
Amy Neftzger
Best Chocolate Quotes
When we don’t have the words, chocolate can speak volumes.
Joan Bauer
There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.
Linda Grayson
When I feel myself getting overwhelmed, I take a deep breath and eat a piece of chocolate.
Adrian Grenier
A little too much chocolate is just about the right amount.
Unknown
Chocolate is comfort without words.
Ursula Kohaupt
Today, we know of infinite ways in which this godly ingredient is prepared and enjoyed. Chocolate was the domain of the royals for a long time before the Dutch revolutionized chocolate-making in the 19th century.
So, have a piece of chocolate today and feel like a queen or king!
By Mike O’Halloran
Mike is an author and the founder of Greeting Card Poet.
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