Chocolate Quotes: The Funny and Famous

Here’s a satisfying collection of chocolate quotes to tempt you.

The “food of the gods” chocolate has been unmatched in history for its taste and importance. Its history goes back to over 4,000 years. Cocoa beans were once powdered and mixed with honey, spices, chili peppers, vanilla, and water to prepare a frothy drink and savored by the civilizations in Central America.

Whether it’s a gift, a treat, a symbol of your love, or a personal indulgence, chocolates can be defined in every way. And, lots of folks express their love of chocolate in some well-written verse as with these chocolate quotes. Read on.

Famous Quotes About Chocolate

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.
Charles M. Schulz

Forget love — I’d rather fall in chocolate!

Nine out of ten people like chocolate. The tenth person always lies.

Chocolate says I’m sorry so much better than words.
Rachel Vincent

Good Chocolate Quotes

Anything is good if it’s made of chocolate.
Jo Brand

Chocolate is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.

Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. Bitter. Sweet. Alive.
Joanne Harris

God gave the angels wings, and he gave humans chocolate.

Chocolate Lovers Quotes

As with most fine things, chocolate has its season. There is a simple memory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time to order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A, E, or U is the proper time for chocolate.
Sandra Boynton

There are four basic food groups: milk chocolate,dark chocolate, white chocolate, and chocolate truffles.

I never met a chocolate I could not eat.
Danielle Steel

chocolate quotes.

Quotes Chocolate

Look, there’s no metaphysics on earth like chocolates.
Fernando Pessoa

Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate.
Sandra Boynton

If there’s no chocolate in Heaven, I’m not going.
Jane Seabrook

Caramels are only a fad. Chocolate is a permanent thing.
Milton Hershey

Nothing is more romantic than chocolate.
Ted Allen

The Greeks and Shakespeare wrote the greatest tragedies…neither knew chocolate.
Sandra Boynton

Switzerland is a place where they don’t like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.
Brooklynite Larry David

See Candy Quotes and Captions.

Chocolate Craving Quotes

Even a small amount of dark chocolate can be exquisitely satisfying if you meditate on it.
Dean Ornish

When I have bad days, I just eat lots of chocolate ice cream and dance to the ‘Lion King’ soundtrack. It’s really odd, but it’s true.
Blake Lively

Moderation, honey, in all things but love and chocolate. That’s my motto.
Barbara Bretton

You might like our National Chocolate Day Captions and Jokes.

Chocolate Sayings

Biochemically, love is just like eating large amounts of chocolate.
John Milton

What use are cartridges in battle? I always carry chocolate instead.
George Bernard Shaw

The way to a woman’s heart is through truth and trust. Well, all except mine. Mine is through chocolate.
Taylor E. Bennet

My favorite thing in the world is a box of fine European chocolates, which is, for sure, better than sex.
Alicia Silverstone

Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. Bitter. Sweet. Alive.
Joanne Harris

There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who love chocolate and communists.
Leslie Moak Murray

Stress wouldn’t be so hard to take if it were chocolate-covered.

Chocolate Fun Fact

It takes about 400 cocoa beans to make a pound of chocolate. Think of how many cocoa beans are in your kitchen to make your annual chocolate consumption a reality.

Box of Chocolates Quote from Forrest Gump

Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.
Tom Hanks (Forrest Gump)

See National Candy Day.

Chocolate Insights

Chocolate makes everyone smile – even bankers.
Benneville Strohecker

Money talks. Chocolate sings.

Chocolate is the first luxury. It has so many things wrapped up in it: deliciousness at the moment, childhood memories, and that grin-inducing feeling of getting a reward for being good.
Mariska Hargitay

If you are not feeling well, if you have not slept, chocolate will revive you. But you have no chocolate! I think of that again and again! My dear, how will you ever manage?
Marquise de Sévigné

If singing was a color, it would’ve been the color of that chocolate.
Kathryn Stockett

Any sane person loves chocolate.
Bob Greene

After eating chocolate, you feel godlike, as though you can conquer enemies, lead armies, entice lovers.
Emily Luchetti

What kind of monster could possibly hate chocolate?
Cassandra Clare

Life without chocolate is life lacking something important.
Marcia Colman Morton & Frederic Morton

What’s your favorite type of chocolate: milk or dark?

Charlie & The Chocolate Factory

We have so much time and so little to see.

Try some more. The Strawberries taste like strawberries.

Bubbles, bubbles everywhere, but not a drop to drink.

We are the Music Makers, and we are the Dreamers of Dreams

So shines a good deed in a weary world.

If you want to view paradise, look around and view it. Anything you want to, do it. Want to change the world? There’s nothing to it.

You really shouldn’t mumble because I can’t understand a word you’re saying.

A little nonsense, now and then, is relished by the wisest men.

There is no life I know to compare with pure imagination. Living there, you’ll be free if you truly wish to be.

For some moments in life, There are no words.

There’s no earthly way of knowing which direction we are going.

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

See Brownie Quotes, Jokes, and Captions.

Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory

If the good Lord had intended us to walk, he wouldn’t have invented roller-skates.

Willy Wonka: Where is fancy bred, in the heart or in the head?

Everything inside is eatable, I mean edible, I mean you can eat everything.

Charlie: What was that we just went through?
Wonka: Hsawaknow.
Mrs. Teevee: Is that Japanese?
Wonka: No, that’s Wonkawash spelled backward.

Willy Wonka: So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it.

Mrs. Gloop: My son! He’ll be made into marshmallows in five seconds!
Wonka: Impossible, my dear lady! That’s absurd! Unthinkable!
Mrs. Gloop: Why?!
Wonka: Because that pipe doesn’t go to the marshmallow room! It goes to the fudge room!
Mrs. Gloop: You terrible man!

Willy Wonka: And Charlie, don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he’d ever wished for.
Charlie: What happened?
Willy Wonka: He lived happily ever after.

Willy Wonka: Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple.
Mrs. Teevee: That’s 105 percent!

Chocolate Fun Fact

Most cocoa comes from West Africa.

Funny Chocolate Quotes

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay.
Marcia Carrington

Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don’t need an appointment.
Catherine Aitken

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far, I’ve finished two bags of M&M’s and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
Dave Barry

Don’t wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty…
Lora Brody

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world’s perfect food.
Michael Levine

Chocolate: the poor man’s champagne.
Daniel Worona

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can’t remember what they are.
Matt Lauer

If I die eating chocolate, I’ll die happy.
Cailey Sims

Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands – and then eat just one of the pieces.
Judith Viorst

Chocolate Fun Fact

German chocolate cake was named after Sam German. He developed a sweet bar for Baker’s Chocolate, and he was not from Germany.

For more chocolate fun facts, visit the National Confectioners Association.

Funny Takes on Chocolate

Exercise is a dirty word… Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
Charles M. Schultz

Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.
Truman Capote

Make a list of important things to do today. At the top of your list, put eat chocolate. Now, you’ll get at least one thing done today.
Gina Hayes

I never met a chocolate I didn’t like.
Deanna Troi

Save the earth. It’s the only planet with chocolate!

The 12-Step Chocolate Program: Never Be More Than 12 Steps Away From Chocolate!
Terry Moore

It’s not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Chocolate is, let’s face it, far more reliable than a man.
Miranda Ingram

Tip: These chocolate quotes make great captions for photos on Facebook or Instagram.

Hot Chocolate

The superiority of chocolate (hot chocolate), both for health and nourishment, will soon give it the same preference over tea and coffee in America, which it has in Spain.
Thomas Jefferson
(Ok, not all chocolate quotes turn out to be accurate – but still interesting.)

The divine drink, which builds up resistance and fights fatigue. A cup of this precious drink (cocoa) permits a man to walk for a whole day without food.
Montezuma (Aztec Emperor)

Fruit of all the kinds that the country produced were laid before him; he ate very little, but from time to time a liquor prepared from cocoa, and of an aphrodisiac nature, as we were told, was presented to him in golden cups…..I observed a number of jars, above fifty, brought in, filled with foaming chocolate. Of which he took some…..
Bernal Diaz del Castillo describing emperor Montezuma (Aztec Emperor)

Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first but keeps you warm for a long time.
Henri Frederic Amiel

Hot chocolate is like a hug from the inside.

Chocolatey Quotations

Blustery cold days should be spend propped up in bed with a mug of hot chocolate and a pile of comic books.
Bill Watterson

On hot chocolate: It flatters you for a while, it warms you for an instant; then, all of a sudden, it kindles a mortal fever in you.
Marie, Marquise de Sévigné

He stared at his hot chocolate like it held the secret to the universe.
Lilith Saintcrow

The world won’t get more or less terrible if we’re indoors somewhere with a mug of hot chocolate,’ ‘Though it’s possible, it will seem slightly less terrible if there are marshmallows in the hot chocolate.
Kamila Shamsie

Strength is the capacity to break a Hershey bar into four pieces with your bare hands – and then eat just one of the pieces.
Judith Viorst

Always serve too much hot fudge sauce on hot fudge sundaes. It makes people overjoyed and puts them in your debt.
Judith Olney

Delicious Chocolate Quotes

What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate.
Katharine Hepburn

Chocolate is a perfect food, as wholesome as it is delicious, a beneficent restorer of exhausted power. It is the best friend of those engaged in literary pursuits.
Baron Justus von Liebig

Wherever chocolate is made, chocolate is chocolate. And any month that contains the letter a, e, i, o, or u is the proper time to share it with others.
David Augsburger

Life is like chocolate: you should enjoy it piece for piece and let it slowly melt on your tongue.
Nina Samdmann

May your life be filled, as mine has been, with love and laughter; and remember, when things are rough all you need is chocolate.
Geraldine Solon

Comforting Chocolate Quotes

Chocolate is a gift of love to yourself.
Sonja Blumenthal

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love.
Karl Petzke

Once we hit forty, women only have about taste buds left: one for vodka, one for wine, one for cheese, and one for chocolate.
Gina Barreca

Chocolate makes everyone happy. Sharing chocolates with others is a form of communication that says, You can share all your sweet and dark secrets with me.
Ruchi Prabhu

I’m pretty sure that eating chocolate keeps wrinkles away because I have never seen a 10-year-old with a Hershey bar and crow’s feet.
Amy Neftzger

Best Chocolate Quotes

When we don’t have the words, chocolate can speak volumes.
Joan Bauer

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.
Linda Grayson

When I feel myself getting overwhelmed, I take a deep breath and eat a piece of chocolate.
Adrian Grenier

A little too much chocolate is just about the right amount.

Chocolate is comfort without words.
Ursula Kohaupt

Today, we know of infinite ways in which this godly ingredient is prepared and enjoyed. Chocolate was the domain of the royals for a long time before the Dutch revolutionized chocolate-making in the 19th century.

So, have a piece of chocolate today and feel like a queen or king!

By Mike O’Halloran

Mike is an author and the founder of Greeting Card Poet.

Extra Extra

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