Hilarious Jokes, Funny Memes, Punchy Puns
These are some of the hilarious jokes sounds, and trust us when we say that you will be the center of attention! We all share jokes, quotes, and other fun stuff, and no matter how funny they are, we never had enough.
Many people like to hear hilarious jokes but love to share them even more. And a lot of times, the joke itself may not even be funny. Sometimes, it could be the delivery, the situation, or some other factor. So, if you know someone who needs a little chuckle, these jokes are just too dang funny to not laugh at, no matter what your age.
Funny Jokes
These jokes are so stupid that they will not only guarantee to make you facepalm, but they’ll also make everyone around you laugh out loud at the same time. Don’t believe us? Well, go on ahead and read these groaners and try not to crack a smile…or croak!
Really Funny Puns
Why did the barber win the race?
Because he took a shortcut.
Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock?
Because it’s a little meteor.
Who lost a herd of elephants?
Big bo-peep.
Why did the rubber chicken cross the road?
She wanted to stretch her legs.
Rolling in the Aisles Laughing Jokes
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Want to go for a spin?
What road has the most ghosts haunting it?
A dead end.
What do you call the little rivers that flow into the Nile?
Juve-Niles.
What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
Fingernails.
What happened when the magician got mad?
She pulled her hare out.
What kind of rocks are never found in the ocean?
Dry ones.
What did one campfire say to the other?
Shall we go out tonight?
Why did the woman run around her bed?
She wanted to catch up on her sleep.
Hilarious Jokes That Will Make Your Cry
When do monkeys fall from the sky?
During APE-ril showers.
What season is it best to go on a trampoline?
Springtime.
What’s a bow that can’t be tied?
A rainbow.
What does my dog do when he goes to bed?
He reads a bite-time story.
What do dogs do when watching a DVD?
They press paws.
What does a triceratops sit on?
Its tricera-bottom.
Why can’t dogs drive?
They can’t find a barking space.
How do you make a fire with two sticks?
Make sure one is a match.
What kind of table can you eat?
A vegetable.
Hilarious Jokes Meme
Funny Jokes to tickle the ribs
Why did the girl nibble on her calendar?
She wanted a sundae.
Why did the girl nibble on her calendar?
She wanted a sundae.
What do you call a woman who crawls up walls?
Ivy.
Why do hamburgers go to the gym?
To get better buns.
What did the tree wear to the beach party?
Swimming trunks.
What did the dinosaur use to build his house?
A dino-saw.
How is a baseball team similar to a pancake?
They both need a good batter.
Good Stuff
Why didn’t the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees.
What kind of tree can you put in your hand?
A palm tree.
How does the barber cut the moon’s hair?
Eclipse it.
What did the chef name his son?
Stew.
What happened when the wheel was invented?
It caused a revolution.
What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?
Bookworms.
Why was the girl sitting on her watch?
Because she wanted to be on time.
When do astronauts eat?
At launch time.
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits.
What do you call a pig thief?
A hamburglar.
Would octopus make good fast food?
You must be squidding.
The phone rings Green, green!
A woman picks up: Yellow?
Funny Short Jokes
What do you call a happy cowboy?
A jolly rancher.
What do you call a flying police officer?
A helicopper.
What is the opposite of a cold front?
A warm back.
How do you get straight A’s?
By using a ruler.
What holds the sun up in the sky?
Sunbeams.
Funniest Ever
What is a cheerleader’s favorite color?
Yeller.
What is the hardest part of skydiving?
The ground.
What do you call an underwater spy?
James Pond.
What did the dinosaur put on her steak?
Dinosauce.
What dinosaur would Harry Potter be?
The Dinosorcerer.
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
Toga-ether we can rule the world.
Funny Jokes for Kids
How do you make an octopus laugh?
With ten-tickles.
How do bees brush their hair?
With honeycombs.
Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby?
She was a little horse.
Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why did the melon jump into the river?
Because it wanted to be a watermelon.
Why can’t Elsa have a balloon?
Because she’ll let it go.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate nine!
Funny Dad Jokes
How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
You rocket.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree?
By the bark.
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants while he played?
In case he got a hole-in-one.
How are false teeth like stars?
They come out at night.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He couldn’t see himself doing it.
Did you hear the one about the roof?
Never mind, it’s over your head.
Corny Jokes
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
What kind of shoes do frogs love?
Open-toad.
Why do vampires seem sick?
They’re always coffin.
Why didn’t the melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
What makes a sick lemon feel better?
Lemon-aid.
Can February March?
No, but April May.
By Mike O’Halloran
Mike is an author and editor of Greeting Card Poet.
Encore
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