Funny Inspirational Work Quotes
Funny inspirational work quotes will help you find your daily grind a little more enjoyable.
Our jobs are undoubtedly a vital part of our lives when we learn different things, experiment with them, and meet people. While working 40 to 50 hours a week, we get the chance to improve ourselves and get better at what we do. We can also make lives better for our families.
So, to help you to get to the end of your journey, below are some of the funniest work quotes. These have been chosen carefully for your amusement. Here’s to fun days on the job — even if they might be few and far between!
Best Funny Inspirational Work Quotes
1.) What is the difference between unethical and ethical advertising? Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public; ethical advertising uses truth to deceive the public.
2.) Right now, this is a job. If I advance any higher, this would be my career. And if this were my career, I’d have to throw myself in front of a train.
3.) His insomnia was so bad that he could not sleep during office hours.
4.) Lisa, if you do not like your job, you do not strike. You just go in every day and do it half-assed. That’s the American way.
5.) Failure is not an option… it comes bundled with the software.
6.) It is a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it is a depression when you lose yours.
Harry S. Truman
7.) The elevator to success is out of order. You will have to use the stairs, one step at a time.
8.) Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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Good Funny Inspirational Work Quotes
9.) I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
10.) I am so clever that sometimes I do not understand a single word of what I am saying.
11.) Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
12.) It is just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
13.) Sometimes, the best part of my job is that the chair swivels.
14.) What I do not like about the office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
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Funny Inspiring Work Sayings
15.) Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the real greats make you feel that you, too, can be great.
16.) A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they do not have a J.O.B.
17.) Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.
18.) Oh, you hate your job? Why did not you say so? There is a support group for that. It is called everybody, and they meet at the bar.
19.) I will always choose a lazy person to do a hard job because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.
Funny Job Quotes
20.) Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.
21.) I used to work at McDonald’s, making minimum wage. Do you know what that means? Do you know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey, if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’
22.) The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
23.) Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.
24.) Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you’re a consultant.
25.) A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.
26.) Leaders who do not listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.
Funny Motivational Work Quotes
27.) No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.
28.) I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
Jerome K. Jerome
29.) Many of life’s failures are experienced by people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
30.) Every day, I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.
31.) Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
32.) People often say that motivation does not last. Well, neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.
33.) Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you will never get a job working for a tabloid.
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34.) Do not be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.
35.) The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.
36.) Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.
37.) I work for myself, which is fun. Except for the time when I call in sick, I always know that I am lying.
38.) Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.
39.) I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I am around.
40.) My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That is what you are called when you do not have a job.
41.) The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.
42.) The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you have got it.
Funny Hard Work Sayings
43.) People who never do any more than they get paid for never get paid for any more than they do.
44.) If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is working. Y is playing. Z is keeping your mouth shut.
45.) The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.
46.) If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.
47.) It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can not eat for eight hours, he can not drink for eight hours, and he can not make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.
48.) It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.
Dwight D. Eisenhower
49.) When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?’.
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50.) Greatness does not come from taking a “lean back” approach to career planning. Get out in front of opportunity – and it will come to you.
Jocelyn K. Glei
51.) Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.
52.) Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.
53.) Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
54.) Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you do not have a plan.
55.) Show me a man who is a good loser, and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.
56.) Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
Hilarious Positive Quotes For Work
57.) If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you would not have a job if he was any smarter.
58.) The easiest job in the world has to be a coroner. Surgery on dead people. What is the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you would get a pulse.
59.) As I have gotten older and wiser, I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Payday, lunchtime, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course, retirement.
60.) Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.
61.) Sometimes, I spend the whole meeting wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.
62.) I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity, and dreams.
63.) My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.
64.) I have got all the money I will ever need if I die by four o’clock.
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Funny Workplace Quotes
65.) People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!
66.) Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them do not work, and the other half is not so bright.
67.) Education costs money. But then again, so does ignorance.
Sir Claus Moser
68.) An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.
69.) I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
70.) Work hours seem to take a lot longer than weekend hours.
Funny Friday Quotes For Work
71.) Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it is only Thursday.
72.) When you start to do the things that you truly love, it would not matter whether it is Monday or Friday; you would be so excited to wake up each morning to work on your passions.
73.) Music always sounds better on Friday.
74.) Leaving work on Friday. Amazing little feeling.
75.) Friday makes Monday worth it.
76.) Friday. The golden child of the weekdays. The superhero of the workweek. The welcome wagon to the weekend.
77.) Weekends are life’s gift to the ones who hate their jobs.
78.) It is Friday… any plan of being a productive member of society is officially thrown out the window.
Working for the Weekend: Funny Inspirational Work Quotes
79.) That Friday afternoon feeling sure beats that Monday morning feeling.
80.) Every Friday, I feel like I deserve a new addition to my closet for all my hard work during the week.
81.) Beat the 5 o’clock rush, and leave work by noon.
82.) People wait all week for Friday, all year for summer, and all life for happiness.
83.) It is the set of the sails, not the direction of the wind, that determines which way we will go.
84.) Welcome to Friday. In preparation for takeoff, please ensure all negative attitudes are properly stowed. I expect sunshine and good attitudes today for our trip. Enjoy the ride.
85.) Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take the time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music, and dancing. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.
86.) Here’s to another Friday of outward smiles and inward screams.
87.) We will continue to have more meetings until we figure out why no work is getting done.
Lighthearted Work Quotes
88.) There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.
89.) If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.
90.) There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it? Kin Hubbard
91.) The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.
92.) One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.
93.) It takes less time to do a thing right than it does to explain why you did it wrong.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
94.) Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
95.) The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.
Stanley J. Randall
96.) Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock.
97.) Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he’s supposed to be doing at that moment.
98.) As I have gotten older and wiser, I discovered there are six things that I really loved about my job. Payday, lunchtime, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course, retirement.
How To Use These Funny Quotes For Work
These sayings will help motivate you through your work journey and may help you share a laugh or two with colleagues.
Here are a few ways to incorporate these quotations into your job setting:
- Create a sign of your favorite funny job saying and post it in a prominent spot at the office. Think bulletin board or near the water cooler.
- Use a different saying each week as your email close – right after your name and phone number.
- At weekly team meetings, hold a contest between two work quotes by reading both out loud and having your team vote on the best.
- Text family and friends with a particularly funny work quote.
A job can become monotonous, and sometimes we change our paths when we are in the middle of the journey creating stress. Sometimes it is the colleagues that we don’t like, and at other times, it is the boss that gives us a hard time. This happens. We need to find good ways to deal with challenges.
Claire writes about pop culture, business, and variety.
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