These are some funny friendship quotes and sayings that may remind you of the kind of relationship you have with your closest friends. They say that friends are god’s way of making up for our families.
You spend some of the best moments in your life with your friends – moments that you cannot imagine sharing with your family. You have done the silliest, the funniest, and the most awkward things with them, which you cannot even share with anyone else.
These quotations will not only bring a smile to your face, but they will also remind you of the fun times you cherished with your best friends. Some well-known folks and famous personalities have contributed to the collection below. Enjoy.
Friendship Quotes Funny
1.) We’ll be friends until we’re old and senile – then, we’ll be new friends!
2.) A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
3.) This is by far your worst idea ever…I’ll be there in 15 minutes.
4.) The holy passion of friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime if not asked to lend money.
5.) We’ve been friends for so long that I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence.
6.) Knowledge cannot replace friendship. I’d rather be an idiot than lose you.
Patrick to Spongebob
7.) Good friends don’t let you do stupid things… alone.
Humorous Friends Sayings
8.) It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
9.) I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.
10.) It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like, ‘What about lunch?’
11.) Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense and have her nonsense respected.
12.) Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.
13.) It’s important to our friends to believe that we are unreservedly frank with them and important to the friendship that we are not.
14.) If you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal.
Check out the Best Insults and Comebacks.
15.) Friendship is not possible between two women, one of whom is very well-dressed.
16.) Friends give you a shoulder to cry on. But best friends are ready with a shovel to hurt the person that made you cry.
17.) Whoever says Friendship is easy has obviously never had a true friend!
18.) Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive.
19.) Bests Friends. They know how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.
Short Funny Friendship Quotes
20.) A best friend is like a four-leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have.
21.) I don’t know what’s tighter: our jeans or our friendship.
22.) Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice.
Otto von Bismarck
23.) Friends buy you food. Best friends, eat your food.
24.) Never let your best friends get lonely… keep disturbing them.
25.) There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.
Short Friend Quotations
26.) True friends don’t judge each other. They judge other people together.
27.) A friend to all is a friend to none.
28.) Friends, don’t let friends do stupid things… Alone.
29.) I don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendship.
30.) Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
Robert Louis Stevenson
Really Funny Insights on Friends
31.) There is nothing better than a friend unless it is a friend with chocolate.
32.) One sure way to lose another woman’s friendship is to try to improve her flower arrangements.
33.) A good friend will help you move. But a best friend will help you move a dead body.
34.) A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.
35.) We’ll be best friends forever because you already know too much.
Funny Best Friend
36.) I don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendship.
37.) Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
38.) You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself, he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.
Laurence J. Peter
39.) When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun.’
40.) We’ll be friends forever because we’re too lazy to find new friends.
41.) I’ve always said that in politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you.
42.) Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.
Amusing Quotations on Being Friends
43.) As your best friend, I’ll always pick you up when you fall after I finish laughing.
44.) A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.
45.) We know our friends by their defects rather than by their merits.
William Somerset Maugham
46.) Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel a warm feeling inside.
47.) I don’t need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets. I have my friends for that.
48.) Men kick friendship around like a football, and it doesn’t seem to crack. Women treat it like glass, and it falls to pieces.
49.) Having those weird conversations with your friend and thinking if anyone heard us, we’d be put in a mental hospital.
50.) I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies, all right. But my damn friends – they’re the ones that keep me walking the floor nights!
Warren G. Harding
51.) Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with.
52.) Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face.
Lighthearted Quotes on Being Friends
53.) Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
54.) Real friendship is when your friend comes over to your house, and then you both just take a nap. Unknown
55.) Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.
56.) Best friend: the one that you can be mad at only for a short period of time because you have important stuff to tell them.
57.) A loyal friend laughs& at your jokes when they’re not so good and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.
Arnold H. Glasgow
58.) One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
59.) A friend is somebody you give up the last cookie for.
60.) I love that our effortless friendship fits perfectly with my laziness.
61.) There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
Famous Friendship Quotes
62.) Prosperity makes friends; adversity tries them.
Publilius Syrus, Sententiae
63.) Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation, for ’tis better to be alone than in bad company.
64.) Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
65.) In prosperity, our friends know us; in adversity, we know our friends.
John Churton Collins
66.) There are only two people who tell you the truth about yourself – an enemy who has lost his temper and a friend who loves you dearly.
67.) Distrust all those who love you extremely upon a very slight acquaintance and without any visible reason.
Lord Chesterfield, letter to his son, January 15, 1753
68.) It is better to weep with wise men than to laugh with fools.
69.) He that lieth down with dogs shall rise up with fleas.
Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard’s Almanack
70.) Do not remove a fly from your friend’s forehead with a hatchet.
Notable Insights on Friendship
71.) A man, Sir, should keep his friendship in constant repair.
Samuel Johnson, quoted in Life of Samuel Johnson by James Boswell
72.) Reprove your friend in secret and praise him openly.
Leonardo da Vinci, The Notebooks
73.) A friend is known in a time of need.
74.) Bad company corrupts good character.
1 Corinthians 15:33
75.) A word of advice, don’t give it.
76.) There is nothing meritorious but virtue and friendship.
77.) Is solace anywhere more comforting than in the arms of sisters?
78.) A true friend is the best possession.
79.) He that will only have a perfect brother must resign himself to remain brotherless.
80.) Pay attention to your enemies, for they are the first to discover your mistakes.
81.) The only way to have a friend is to be one.
Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Friendship,” Essays
82.) If a man is worth knowing at all, he is worth knowing well.
Alexander Smith, Dreamthorp
The Company You Keep Sayings
83.) The best rule of friendship is to keep your heart a little more softer than your head.
84.) When good cheer is lacking, our friends will be packing.
85.) With friends like you, who needs enemas?
86.) The best mirror is an old friend.
87.) Friendship is a plant that often must be watered.
88.) One enemy is too many, a hundred friends too few.
89.) Friendship increases in visiting friends, but not in visiting them too often.
90.) In poverty and other misfortunes of life, true friends are a sure refuge.
91.) Friendship is a word the very sight of which in print makes the heart warm.
Humorous Takes on Friendship
92.) The real friend is he or she who can share all our sorrow and double our joys.
93.) A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.
94.) The two most important things in life are good friends and a strong bullpen.
Bob Lemon, MLB pitcher
95.) It is easier to visit friends than to live with them.
96.) Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.
Edgar Watson Howe
97.) Friendship, like credit, is highest where it is not used.
98.) The best time to make friends is before you need them.
99.) It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
100.) The richer your friends, the more they will cost you.
101.) She is one of my best friends. Why I’ve known her ever since we were the same age.
102.) Keep the other person’s well-being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on.
103.) You can always tell a real friend; when you’ve made a fool of yourself, he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.
Laurence J. Peter
104.) “Stay” is a charming word in a friend’s vocabulary.
Louisa May Alcott
105.) There is no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
106.) To find a friend, one must close one eye. To keep him… two.
107.) Friendship requires great communication.
Saint Francis de Sales
108.) Friendship is mutual blackmail elevated to the level of love.
109.) To be social is to be forgiving.
110.) To like and dislike the same things, this is what makes a solid friendship.
111.) Give and take makes good friends.
112.) Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
113.) He alone has lost the art to live who cannot win new friends.
S. Weir Mitchell
114.) You win the victory when you yield to friends.
115.) Politeness is an inexpensive way of making friends.
116.) You cannot be friends upon any other terms than upon the terms of equality.
117.) It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
118.) The best way to keep your friends is to not give them away.
119.) None is so rich as to throw away a friend.
120.) A friend is a present you give to yourself.
Robert Louis Stevenson
Ralph Waldo Emerson’s Friendship Quotes
121.) A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may think aloud.
122.) Friendship requires more time than poor busy men can usually command.
123.) A man’s growth is seen in the successive choirs of his friends.
124.) It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
125.) How casually and unobservedly we make all our most valued acquaintances.
126.) The condition which high friendship demands is the ability to do without it.
127.) Go oft to the house of thy friend, for weeds choke the unused path.
Funny Friendship Quotes FAQ
Here are some frequently asked questions about funny friendship quotes.
“We’ve been friends for so long that I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence,” or “Good friends don’t let you do stupid things… alone.”
“I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.”
“When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun.'”
By Mike O’Halloran
Mike is the founder and editor of Greeting Card Poet.
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