Funny Friendship Quotes
These are some funny friendship quotes and sayings that may remind you of the kind of relationship you have with your closest friends. They say that friends are god’s way of making up for our families.
You spend some of the best moments in your life with your friends – moments that you cannot imagine sharing with your family. You have done the silliest, the funniest, and the most awkward things with them, which you cannot even share with anyone else.
These quotations will not only bring a smile to your face, but they will also remind you of the fun times you cherished with your best friends. Some well-known folks and famous personalities have contributed to the collection below. Enjoy.
Friendship Quotes Funny
1.) We’ll be friends until we’re old and senile – then, we’ll be new friends!
Unknown
2.) A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
Erma Bombeck
3.) This is by far your worst idea ever…I’ll be there in 15 minutes.
Unknown
4.) The holy passion of friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime if not asked to lend money.
Mark Twain
5.) We’ve been friends for so long that I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence.
Unknown
6.) Knowledge cannot replace friendship. I’d rather be an idiot than lose you.
Patrick to Spongebob
7.) Good friends don’t let you do stupid things… alone.
Unknown
Humorous Friends Sayings
8.) It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
9.) I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.
Mark Twain
10.) It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like, ‘What about lunch?’
A.A. Milne
See Winnie the Pooh Friendship Quotes.
11.) Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense and have her nonsense respected.
Charles Lamb
12.) Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.
Greg Tamblyn
13.) It’s important to our friends to believe that we are unreservedly frank with them and important to the friendship that we are not.
Mignon McLaughlin
14.) If you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal.
Oprah Winfrey
Check out the Best Insults and Comebacks.
Funny Sayings
15.) Friendship is not possible between two women, one of whom is very well-dressed.
Laurie Colwin
16.) Friends give you a shoulder to cry on. But best friends are ready with a shovel to hurt the person that made you cry.
Unknown
17.) Whoever says Friendship is easy has obviously never had a true friend!
Bronwyn Polson
18.) Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive.
Unknown
19.) Bests Friends. They know how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.
Unknown
Short Funny Friendship Quotes
20.) A best friend is like a four-leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have.
Unknown
21.) I don’t know what’s tighter: our jeans or our friendship.
Unknown
22.) Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice.
Otto von Bismarck
23.) Friends buy you food. Best friends, eat your food.
Unknown
24.) Never let your best friends get lonely… keep disturbing them.
Unknown
25.) There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.
Sylvia Plath
Short Friend Quotations
26.) True friends don’t judge each other. They judge other people together.
Emilie Saint-Genis
27.) A friend to all is a friend to none.
Aristotle
28.) Friends, don’t let friends do stupid things… Alone.
Unknown
29.) I don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendship.
Unknown
30.) Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
Robert Louis Stevenson
Really Funny Insights on Friends
31.) There is nothing better than a friend unless it is a friend with chocolate.
Linda Grayson
32.) One sure way to lose another woman’s friendship is to try to improve her flower arrangements.
Marcelene Cox
33.) A good friend will help you move. But a best friend will help you move a dead body.
Jim Hayes
34.) A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.
Elbert Hubbard
35.) We’ll be best friends forever because you already know too much.
Unknown
Funny Best Friend
36.) I don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendship.
Unknown
37.) Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
Virginia Woolf
38.) You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself, he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.
Laurence J. Peter
39.) When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun.’
Groucho Marx
40.) We’ll be friends forever because we’re too lazy to find new friends.
Unknown
41.) I’ve always said that in politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you.
Ann Richards
42.) Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.
Oscar Wilde
Amusing Quotations on Being Friends
43.) As your best friend, I’ll always pick you up when you fall after I finish laughing.
Unknown
44.) A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.
Bernard Meltzer
45.) We know our friends by their defects rather than by their merits.
William Somerset Maugham
46.) Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel a warm feeling inside.
Unknown
47.) I don’t need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets. I have my friends for that.
Unknown
48.) Men kick friendship around like a football, and it doesn’t seem to crack. Women treat it like glass, and it falls to pieces.
Anne Lindbergh
49.) Having those weird conversations with your friend and thinking if anyone heard us, we’d be put in a mental hospital.
Unknown
50.) I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies, all right. But my damn friends – they’re the ones that keep me walking the floor nights!
Warren G. Harding
51.) Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with.
Robert Brault
52.) Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face.
Unknown
Lighthearted Quotes on Being Friends
53.) Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
Oprah Winfrey
54.) Real friendship is when your friend comes over to your house, and then you both just take a nap. Unknown
55.) Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.
Unknown
56.) Best friend: the one that you can be mad at only for a short period of time because you have important stuff to tell them.
Unknown
57.) A loyal friend laughs& at your jokes when they’re not so good and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.
Arnold H. Glasgow
58.) One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
George Carlin
59.) A friend is somebody you give up the last cookie for.
Cookie Monster
60.) I love that our effortless friendship fits perfectly with my laziness.
Unknown
61.) There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
Benjamin Franklin
Famous Friendship Quotes
62.) Prosperity makes friends; adversity tries them.
Publilius Syrus, Sententiae
63.) Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation, for ’tis better to be alone than in bad company.
George Washington
64.) Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
Proverbs 27:6
65.) In prosperity, our friends know us; in adversity, we know our friends.
John Churton Collins
66.) There are only two people who tell you the truth about yourself – an enemy who has lost his temper and a friend who loves you dearly.
Antisthenes
67.) Distrust all those who love you extremely upon a very slight acquaintance and without any visible reason.
Lord Chesterfield, letter to his son, January 15, 1753
68.) It is better to weep with wise men than to laugh with fools.
Spanish Proverb
69.) He that lieth down with dogs shall rise up with fleas.
Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard’s Almanack
70.) Do not remove a fly from your friend’s forehead with a hatchet.
Chinese Proverb
Notable Insights on Friendship
71.) A man, Sir, should keep his friendship in constant repair.
Samuel Johnson, quoted in Life of Samuel Johnson by James Boswell
72.) Reprove your friend in secret and praise him openly.
Leonardo da Vinci, The Notebooks
73.) A friend is known in a time of need.
German Proverb
74.) Bad company corrupts good character.
1 Corinthians 15:33
75.) A word of advice, don’t give it.
A.J. Volicos
76.) There is nothing meritorious but virtue and friendship.
Alexander Pope
77.) Is solace anywhere more comforting than in the arms of sisters?
Alice Walker
78.) A true friend is the best possession.
Unknown
79.) He that will only have a perfect brother must resign himself to remain brotherless.
Italian Proverb
80.) Pay attention to your enemies, for they are the first to discover your mistakes.
Antisthenes
81.) The only way to have a friend is to be one.
Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Friendship,” Essays
82.) If a man is worth knowing at all, he is worth knowing well.
Alexander Smith, Dreamthorp
The Company You Keep Sayings
83.) The best rule of friendship is to keep your heart a little more softer than your head.
Unknown
84.) When good cheer is lacking, our friends will be packing.
Unknown
85.) With friends like you, who needs enemas?
Unknown
86.) The best mirror is an old friend.
Unknown
87.) Friendship is a plant that often must be watered.
Unknown
88.) One enemy is too many, a hundred friends too few.
Unknown
89.) Friendship increases in visiting friends, but not in visiting them too often.
Unknown
90.) In poverty and other misfortunes of life, true friends are a sure refuge.
Aristotle
91.) Friendship is a word the very sight of which in print makes the heart warm.
Augustine Birrell
Humorous Takes on Friendship
92.) The real friend is he or she who can share all our sorrow and double our joys.
B.C. Forbes
93.) A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.
Arnold Glasow
94.) The two most important things in life are good friends and a strong bullpen.
Bob Lemon, MLB pitcher
95.) It is easier to visit friends than to live with them.
Chinese Proverb
96.) Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.
Edgar Watson Howe
97.) Friendship, like credit, is highest where it is not used.
Elbert Hubbard
98.) The best time to make friends is before you need them.
Ethel Barrymore
99.) It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
John Leonard
True Friendship
100.) The richer your friends, the more they will cost you.
Elizabeth Marbury
101.) She is one of my best friends. Why I’ve known her ever since we were the same age.
Galen Cooper
102.) Keep the other person’s well-being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on.
Betty White
103.) You can always tell a real friend; when you’ve made a fool of yourself, he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.
Laurence J. Peter
104.) “Stay” is a charming word in a friend’s vocabulary.
Louisa May Alcott
105.) There is no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
Mark Twain
106.) To find a friend, one must close one eye. To keep him… two.
Norman Douglas
Friends Wisdom
107.) Friendship requires great communication.
Saint Francis de Sales
108.) Friendship is mutual blackmail elevated to the level of love.
Robin Morgan
109.) To be social is to be forgiving.
Robert Frost
110.) To like and dislike the same things, this is what makes a solid friendship.
Sallust
111.) Give and take makes good friends.
Scottish Proverb
112.) Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
Spike Milligan
113.) He alone has lost the art to live who cannot win new friends.
S. Weir Mitchell
114.) You win the victory when you yield to friends.
Sophocles
115.) Politeness is an inexpensive way of making friends.
William Feather
116.) You cannot be friends upon any other terms than upon the terms of equality.
Woodrow Wilson
117.) It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
118.) The best way to keep your friends is to not give them away.
William Mizner
119.) None is so rich as to throw away a friend.
Turkish Proverb
120.) A friend is a present you give to yourself.
Robert Louis Stevenson
Ralph Waldo Emerson’s Friendship Quotes
121.) A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may think aloud.
122.) Friendship requires more time than poor busy men can usually command.
123.) A man’s growth is seen in the successive choirs of his friends.
124.) It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
125.) How casually and unobservedly we make all our most valued acquaintances.
126.) The condition which high friendship demands is the ability to do without it.
127.) Go oft to the house of thy friend, for weeds choke the unused path.
Funny Friendship Quotes FAQ
Here are some frequently asked questions about funny friendship quotes.
“We’ve been friends for so long that I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence,” or “Good friends don’t let you do stupid things… alone.”
“I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.”
“When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun.'”
By Mike O’Halloran
Mike is the founder and editor of Greeting Card Poet.
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