Dog jokes are a great way to get kids involved in the world of comedy, and they can be entertaining for adults, too.
In this article, we’ve collected some of the funniest dog jokes for kids we could find that will keep you laughing and entertained all day long!
Best Dog Jokes for Kids
Dogs are the best. They’re loyal, they’re fun, and they love us unconditionally. They also like to play games, which is why we’ve put together a list of the best dog jokes for kids for you to enjoy.
1.) If H20 is inside of a fire hydrant, what’s on the outside?
2.) Why is it called a litter of puppies?
Because they’ll trash the place.
3.) Who is the favorite rapper of every dog?
4.) What is a dog’s favorite song to listen to after a bath?
“Shake It Off” by Taylor Swift.
5.) What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooch-ed (poached) eggs and Bark-en (bacon).
6.) What do dogs have that other animals don’t?
7.) How are a dog and a marine biologist similar?
One wags a tail while the other tags a whale.
8.) How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of your car?
Have him sit in the front with you.
9.) What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
10.) What do you call a dog who is getting old?
A Grand Paw (Grandpa).
11.) What kind of dog can jump higher than a building?
Any dog, skyscrapers can’t jump.
12.) Why didn’t the puppy chase its tail?
He knew it would be the end of him.
13.) Why was the dog sitting next to the fire?
He was a hotdog!
Funny Dog Riddles
Good Dog Jokes For Kids are a fun way to get your kids laughing while they learn how to read. These jokes are simple and easy to understand, so they’re perfect for young readers. They’re also great for older kids who want some silly jokes that they can share with their friends!
14.) What’s the difference between a dog and a flea?
A dog can have fleas, but a flea can’t have dogs.
15.) Which dog breed chases anything red?
16.) Which dog breed is guaranteed to laugh at all of your jokes?
A Chi-ha-ha (Chihuahua)!
17.) What’s a dog’s ideal job?
18.) Why are skeletons afraid of dogs?
Because dogs love bones!
19.) What kind of dog does a vampire have?
20.) When is a black dog not a black dog?
When he’s a greyhound.
21.) Which dog breed has never done anything wrong?
A Saint Bernard.
22.) Which breed of dog is the quietest?
23.) What did the man get when he tried to cross-breed a computer with a dog?
Too many bites (bytes) to handle.
24.) What did the waiter say to the dog when he brought her food?
25.) What time is it when ten dogs chase a cat?
10 After 1.
26.) Why was the poor dog chasing its tail?
It was just trying to make ends meet.
27.) What money do dogs and cats have?
Kitty cash and doggy dollars.
You might also like these funny animal puns.
Clever Dog Humor
Are you looking for the funniest dog jokes for kids? You’re in the right place! These funny dog jokes are fascinating, and you will find them a great way to spend time with your children.
28.) John: I lost my dog today.
Peter: So put an ad in the paper.
John: What good would that do? My dog can’t read.
29.) Why was the dog sweating so much?
Because it was a hot dog.
30.) What do you call a dog who wins a race?
31.) How can you tell if you have a lazy dog?
He only chases parked cars.
32.) Why did the snowman name his dog “Frost”?
Because “Frost” bites!
33.) What is a dog’s favorite food?
Anything that is on your plate.
34.) How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
35.) What was the dog’s job at the fancy hotel?
He was a Labra-doorman.
36.) What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog?
A rocker spaniel.
37.) Policeman: “Excuse me, Sir, but were you aware that your dog has been chasing a guy on his bike?”
Dog Owner: “Are you nuts? My dog is not even able to ride a bike.”
38.) What did the hungry Dalmatian say after his meal?
That hit the spots!
39.) What makes more noise than a dog barking?
Two dogs barking.
40.) Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor?
Because he kept seeing spots.
Short Dog Jokes for Kids
Short dog jokes for kids are perfect for any occasion. These short jokes will have your kids laughing in no time! They can use these short dog jokes as part of a speech, to tell their friends, or just use them to start a conversation with their classmates at school.
41.) Why did the dog cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken.
42.) How do dogs say goodbye?
Chow Chow (Ciao, ciao)!
43.) What kind of dog can track down flowers?
44.) Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings?
It’s hardly ever for them.
45.) What is the only kind of dog you can eat?
46.) Why is a tree like a big dog?
They both have a lot of bark!
47.) What do you call a dog with no jacket in cold weather?
A chili dog.
48.) What is a dog dentist’s favorite tooth?
49.) What do you call a dog magician?
50.) What is the puppy’s favorite city?
51.) What’s a dog’s favorite song?
Who let the dogs out? Who? Who?
52.) Which dog is the quietest?
The Alaskan Mala-mute.
53.) Why are dogs like phones?
Because they have collar (caller) IDs.
54.) What is a dog’s favorite sport?
Formula 1 drooling.
Share Some Dog Laughs
You can never have enough hilarious dog jokes in your life. That’s why we’ve compiled a list of the best ones out there. These hilarious dog jokes for kids will keep them entertained for hours on end!
55.) A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, “Does your dog bite?”
The guy replied, “No.”
The woman reached down to pet the dog, and it bit her. “I thought you said he didn’t bite,” she yelled.
“That’s not my dog,” he responded kindly.
56.) What do you call it when a cat wins a dog show?
57.) If they were to cast only dogs in movies, who would play Harry Potter?
58.) Why does the dog bring toilet paper to the party?
Because he is a party pooper.
59.) Where is the best place to leave a dog when you go to a ball game?
In the barking lot.
60.) Give an example of a clever dog.
We have an amazing, clever dog! He brings in the paper every morning, and we’ve never even subscribed to one!
Dogs Provide Comedic Inspiration
61.) What did one flea say to the other?
“Should we walk or take a dog?”
62.) How did the dog get splinters in his tongue?
He ate table scraps.
63.) Why did the Australian Cattledog cross the road twice?
He was fetching a boomerang.
64.) What’s a dog’s favorite instrument?
65.) Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
They have two left feet.
66.) What trick did the loaf of bread teach the dog?
67.) Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
So he wouldn’t be a hotdog.
Silly Dog Jokes for Kids
These silly dog jokes are great for kids because they get to laugh at silly things and make their parents laugh. These jokes are all about dogs mixed with silly antics. Pawsitively funny, doggone it!
68.) Teacher: Mark, your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
Mark: No, sir. We have the same dog.
69.) What do you call a dog that sticks its tongue into an electric outlet?
70.) What should you do if a dog chews your dictionary?
Take the words right out of its mouth.
71.) If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A guppy puppy.
72.) What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
He stole the show.
73.) What do you get when you cross a dog with a phone?
A golden receiver.
74.) Which type of dog is also a lamb?
75.) I named my two dogs Rolex and Timex.
They are my watchdogs.
Creative Canine Humor
76.) What’s better than a talking dog?
A spelling bee!
77.) Why was the cat scared of the tree?
Because of its bark.
78.) I named my dog Stay, so I can say, ‘Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!’
79.) What do puppies and storytellers have in common?
They both have tails/tales.
80.) Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to become a woofer (roofer).
81.) What did the little puppy say when his owner asked what was on top of the house?
82.) Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in squares!
83.) What kind of place should you never take a dog?
To the Flea Market.
84.) How do you spell “dog” backwards?
85.) What was the special offer at the pet store this week?
Buy one dog, get one flea.
86.) What do you get if you cross a dog and a lion?
Well, you won’t be getting any mail, that’s for sure.
87.) What should you do if your dog eats your pen?
Use a pencil instead!
Puns are a great way to keep kids’ brains active and encourage them to think creatively. And what better way to do that than with puns about dogs? Pawsome!
88.) Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
Because it was a chilly (chili) dog!
89.) What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?
A chili dog on a bun.
90.) What kind of dog is most like a cat?
A Purr-man (German) Shepherd.
91.) What do you get when you cross an Australian dog with a beetle?
Dingo (Ringo) Starr.
92.) What’s a puppy’s favorite dessert?
93.) What do you call a dog with a surround sound system?
94.) What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
95.) Why did the dog sleep under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily (early).
96.) Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
To the re-tail store.
97.) Why did the dog get a pedicure?
Because his feet were ruff (rough)!
98.) Why is my dog’s back always sore?
He’s a Ma-stiff.
99.) How did the tiny Scottish dog feel when he saw a Great Dane?
100.) What did the dog say to the flea?
“Stop bugging me!”
101.) What kind of dog should you use to help unlock a door?
An A-key-ta (Akita).
Play on Words
102.) What do you call a dog that meditates?
Aware wolf (a werewolf).
103.) When a dog sits on sandpaper, what does he say?
Oh, that’s ruff (rough)!
104.) What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A flying car-pet.
105.) Did you hear about the dog who invented the knock-knock joke?
She won the no-bell prize!
106.) What do you get when you cross a dog and a rose?
107.) What dog keeps the best time?
Puppies are a joy to have around the house, but they can also be a little bit mischievous. Here are some of our favorite puppy dog jokes for kids that anyone can relate to:
108.) What genre of music do young dogs like the best?
109.) What do you call a puppy that’s been out in the cold?
110.) What color do young doggies like the most?
111.) What is a puppy’s favorite kind of pizza?
A pup-peroni pizza.
112.) Did you hear about the dog who was fined for delivering puppies on the side of the road?
She was given a ticket for littering.
113.) What do you call young dogs who play in the snow?
114.) Why does my newborn dog never want to leave my side?
He’s in puppy love!
115.) What do dogs like to eat at movie theaters?
116.) What does a dog stay in when she goes camping?
A pup-up tent.
Dog Knock-Knock Jokes
The following dog knock-knock jokes are a great way to get some extra laughs with your kids. We’ve put together a list of our favorite funny knock-knock jokes for kids about dogs here—and we’re sure you’ll love them too!
117.) Knock, knock!
Theodore is stuck, and my dog can’t get out!
118.) Knock, knock!
Doughnut pull my dog’s tail, or he’ll bite you!
119.) Knock, knock!
120.) Knock, knock!
Oliver, sudden my dog went crazy!
121.) Knock, knock.
Eileen over to pet the dog.
122.) Knock, knock.
Literal,y just your dog who heard the can opener.
123.) Knock, knock.
Defense (the fence) has a hole in it—that’s how our dog got loose.
124.) Knock, knock!
Patsy dog on the head, he likes it.
125.) Knock, knock!
Leash you could do is open the door!
126.) Knock, knock!
Ken you walk the dog for me?
127.) Knock, knock.
Hugh’s a good dog?
Cool Knock-Knock jokes about Dogs
128.) Knock, knock.
Irish, I could get a puppy!
129.) Knock, knock!
Arthur, any more dogs out there?
130.) Knock, knock!
Not bow who. It’s bow wow!
131.) Knock, knock!
132.) Knock, knock!
Dasum cute dog!
Cute Dog Jokes for Kids
These cute dog jokes are some of the best out there. We’ve put together a list of cute dog jokes for kids so that you can have a laugh with your kids!
133.) What is a dog that sneezes?
134.) What is the most boring type of dog?
A dull-matian (dalmatian).
135.) What do you call a great dog detective?
136.) What did the cat say to the dog when they played chess?
“Check meow-t (mate)!”
137.) How does a Japanese chihuahua say hello?
138.) What do you get when you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel!
139.) Why shouldn’t you go outside if it’s raining cats and dogs?
Because you might step in a poodle (puddle).
140.) What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?
141.) Why can’t dogs work the DVD remote?
Because they always hit the paws (pause) button!
142.) Why do puppies leave trash everywhere they go?
They are part of a litter.
143.) What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Lovable Dog Jokes
144.) What kind of dog does Dracula have?
145.) What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles!
146.) What do dogs and phones have in common?
They both have collar ID.
147.) What do dogs do when they need to take a bathroom break during a movie?
They press the paws button.
148.) Why did the snowman call his dog Frost?
Because frost bites.
149.) Which dog breed loves living in the Big Apple?
A New Yorkie.
150.) Why did the Dachshund want to sit in the shade?
Because it was a hot dog.
151.) What do you get when you cross a race dog with a bumble bee?
A Greyhound Buzz.
152.) Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
He was trying to make both ends meet!
153.) I recently planted a pet tree, and it’s like having a pet dog except…
The bark is much quieter.
154.) When a dog has a fever, what should you feed him?
Mustard—it’s the best thing for hot dogs.
Man’s Best Friend
155.) Where does a Labrador’s food go before it can be sold in stores?
To the lab for testing.
156.) What’s a dog’s favorite kind of pizza?
157.) What type of market should you never take your dog to?
A flea market!
158.) Which dog breed loves to take bubble baths.
159.) How did the little Scottie dog react when he met the Loch Ness Monster?
He was Terrier-fied!
160.) What did the dog say to the flea?
Quit bugging me!
I hope this collection of funny dog jokes scratches your itch for a little canine humor.
By Mike O’Halloran
Mike is the founder and editor of Greeting Card Poet.
You are on our 143 Dog Jokes For Kids page.
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