Clean Jokes For Tweens
It’s always a good time to get a laugh, and that’s especially true when you’re a teen.
We’ve gathered some of our favorite clean jokes for tweens to help you kill some time or maybe just make the day go by a little faster.
In this article, we’ve collected a variety of funny jokes for tweens.
Best Clean Jokes for Tweens
Whether you’re looking for a quick laugh or something to keep your friends entertained while waiting for the pizza guy, these jokes are sure to be a hit!
1.) What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?
SWAG.
2.) What did the green grape tell the purple grape?
Breathe, idiot, breathe!!
3.) Why are frogs always so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them.
4.) What do you call an old snowman?
A puddle.
5.) Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you crticiz you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have their shoes.
6.) A lot of people cry when they cut an onion. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
7.) Why did the man fall down the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
8.) What is more pathetic than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
9.) What did the teacher wear shades to the class?
The class was too bright.
Funny Ones
10.) Why shouldn’t you worry about passing math?
Because it’s easy as pi.
11.) Why’d the elementary students look up to the high schoolers?
Because they’re smaller, they don’t have a choice.
12.) What do you call a 60-year-old who hasn’t reached puberty?
A late boomer.
13.) What did the grape say when he was pinched?
Nothing, he just gave a little wine.
Good Clean Jokes for Teenagers
There’s nothing like a good, clean joke to brighten your day. Check out these good clean jokes for teens:
14.) When was the comma told by the period to move away?
At the end of the sentence.
15.) What do pre-teen ducks hate?
Voice quacks.
16.) Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because it has a silent p.
17.) Pelovely who give me directions are so nice.
They keep saying you’re right.
18.) Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed some space.
19.) If tenu have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
20.) What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
Snow.
21.) How did the bullet lose its job?
It got fired.
22.) What is a teenager in Hawaii called?
Tropical depression.
23.) What did the middle schooler say to the high schooler?
Nothing, they texted.
24.) Why do pimples make horrible prisoners?
Because they keep breaking out!
25.) What is the similarity between a teenager and a Russian spy?
They have erased history.
26.) Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything.
27.) What did one DNA strand say to the other?
Does my hip look big in these genes?
Funny Tween Humor
Funny jokes are one of the best ways to make people laugh. They can also be a great way to break the ice and get people talking to each other. Here are funny, clean jokes for teens which can make people start a fun conversation:
28.) What did the man say when he walked into a bar?
Ouch!
29.) What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
30.) Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
31.) What was one toilet told by another?
You look flushed.
32.) What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
33.) Why did the banana need a doctor’s appointment?
It was not peeling well.
34.) Why can’t dinosaurs clap their hands?
Because they’re extinct.
t do French fries say when they’re put in a box?
Oui!
36.) How can a dog temporarily stop the video?
By pressing the paws button.
37.) Can you put the cat out?
Why? Is it on fire?
38.) Two years ago, I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date, and today I asked her to marry me. She said no on both occasions.
Short Clean Jokes for Tweens
Finding short, clean jokes for teens has always been a challenge. L we’ve found some that will surely make you laugh—even if your parents are around.
39hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.
40.) The wedding was so beautiful. Even the cake was in tiers.
41.) Why was the picture sent to jail?
It was framed.
42.) What do truck drivers eat on?
A license plate.
43.) Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems.
44.) Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs!
45.) What did the nose tell the finger?
“Stop picking on me.”
46.) What do a school and plant have in common?
STEM.
47.) Name the most hardworking part of the eye.
Pupil.
48.) How do you talk to giants?
Use big words!
49.) The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
Good For A Laugh
Jokes are a great way to relieve stress and make others feel good. You might already know these, but the gwheneveran still makes you laugh whenever you hear them. Here are famous clean jokes for teens:
50.) What do you call a Star Wars droid that takes the long way around?
R2-Detour.
51.) Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it go!
52.) How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
Shocked!
53.) What book won’t teachers give you credit for reading?
Facebook.
54.) What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
55.) I’ve just opened a new restaurant called Karma. There’s no menu, and we just give you what you deserve.
56.) What’s the difference between the ACT and SAT?
One letter.
57.) Why did Harry Potter suddenly go bald in his teens?
He lost his Hedwig.
58.) Why was the name Dark Age given to a particular period?
Because there were many knights then.
59.) Are you aware of the “kidnapping” that happened at school?
It is alright; the kid just woke up.
60.) What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
61.) What is the favorite nation of the teacher?
Expla-nation
62.) What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don’t know, and I don’t care.
Great Riddles
Want to make your friends laugh and feel good about themselves? Then you’ve come to the right place!
We’ve got a variety of clean jokes for teens that you can use to make your friends laugh, and we promise these jokes will never offend anyone.
63.) How do you drown a Hipster?
In the mainstream.
64.) What is Forrest Gump’s email password?
1forrest1.
65.) What goes up the chimney down, but not down the chimney up?
An umbrella.
66.) What kind of tree fits into your hand?
A palm tree.
67.) What is 97 plus 41 times 42 minus 164 plus 91 divided by 7?
A headache.
68.) What do you call a 12-inch nose?
A foot.
69.) What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
“Put it on my bill.”
70.) What kind of music do balloons hate?
Pop.
71.) What’s worse It is findingnding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple.
72.) How does the big flower greet the little one?
Hey, bud!
73.) Why was autumn the most favorite season of Humpty Dumpty?
He always had a great fall.
74.) A police recruit was asked during the exam, “What would do if you had to arrest your own mother?” He said, “Call for backup.”
75.) I wanted to buy a camouflage outfit, but I couldn’t find any.
Clean Dad Jokes for Tweens
Do you have a teenager in your life? Are you looking for a way to connect with them and make them feel loved? Well, look no further! Here are some clean dad jokes for teens that will make them laugh and hopefully help them open up more to you.
76.) My boss told me yesterday, “You shouldn’t dress for the job you have; dress for the job you want.” But when I turned up today in Ghostbusters clothes, he said I was fired.
77.) What is the difference between a terrorist and a teenager?
You can at least negotiate with a terrorist.
78.) What animal is the worst at hiding?
The leopard — he’s always spotted.
79.) What do you call the horse that lives next door?
Your neigh-bor!
80.) I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
81.) What do prisoners use to talk to each other?
Cell phones.
82.) How do mountains keThey are usingemselves warm during winters?
Using their snowcaps.
83.) Were any famous men and women born on your birthday?
No, only babies.
84.) What stories do basketball players tell? tales.
85.) How do you know that you have a teenager in your house?
Just by seeing the phone bill.
86.) Why do sharks swim in saltwater?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
87.) Can February March?
No, but April May.
88.) Why is it important to have a dog in the house where there is a teenager?
So, that someone in the house is happy to see you.
89.) Did you hear about the guy writing a construction book?
He’s still working on it.
90.) How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Look for the fresh prints.
Relatable Quips
You’re a teenager. You’re going through the most must time of your life, and you have toal with them bol and at home. So, you definitely need a good laugh! That’s why we’ve compiled a list of relatable clean jokes for teens:
91.) What does a dad joke sound like in space?
As cringe as it sounds on earth.
92.) Student: Will you punish me for something I have not done?
Teacher: No.
Student: I have not done my assignment.
93.) Parents when I was five: Go to your room.
Parents when I am 15: Come out of your room.
94.) How do you know when you’re desperate for an answer?
You look at the second page of Google search results.
95.) I thought my neighbors were lovely people. Then they went and put a password on their Wi-Fi.
96.) Some kids told me they’d It turnsme $20 to hang out with them. Turns out it was just clique bait.
97.) Why do teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can’t even.
98.) What is red, orange, and full of disappointment?
High school pizza.
99.) I think my algebra teacher is a pirate. All she ever wants to do is find X.
100.) Me: I am happy.
Life: Just wait for one second.
101.) I thought I’d tell you a brilliant time-travel joke, but you didn’t like it.
102.) Have you heard where the word “studying” came from?
Students-dying.
103.) I sold my vacuum the other day. All it was doing was collecting dust.
Clean Knock-knock Jokes for Tweens
Knock-knock jokes are a classic way to make people laugh. They’re ea,sy to remember, easy to repeat, and best of all, easy to make up for yourself.
And since teens are so creative and full of energy, they’re the perfect audience for knock-knock jokes. So here’s a list of clean knock-knock jokes for teens!
104.) Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Figs the doorbell, I’ve been knocking forever!
105.) Knock knock. Who’s there?
Goat.
Goat who?
Goat to the store and pick up some bread.
106.) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
A little old lady?
A little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel!
107.) Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Yah.
Yah who?
No, I prefer Google.
108.) Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Candice.
Candice who?
Candice door open, or what?
109.) Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Broken pencil.
Broken pencil who?
Oh, forget it. It’s pointless!
110.) Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who?
What are you, an owl?
111.) Knock knock. Who’s there?
Kanga.
Kanga who?
I believe it is pronounced kanga-roo.
112.) Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Nobel.
Nobel who?
Nobel — that’s why I knocked!
113.) Knock knock. Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No, thank you. I prefer hazelnuts.
114.) Will you remember me in a year?
Yes.
Will you remember me in a month?
Yes.
Will you remember me in a week?
Yes.
Will you remember me in a day?
Yes.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
See, you forgot me already!
115.) Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you asking so many questions for, just open up!
116.) Knock knock. Who’s there?
Juno.
Juno who?
Juno how funny this is?
117.) Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Candice.
Candice who?
Candice joke be any worse?
Wisecracks and Puns
Pun jokes are some of the best because they’re so easy to understand but also really fun to figure out. You might want to try making up your own jokes with these puns and punchlines as your guide. So, here are punny jokes that you can start with:
118.) What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married?
Feyoncè.
119.) What is a teenager who never grows called?
Constantine.
120.) How does the moon cut its hair?
E-clipse it.
121.) What is the most loved subject of a runner?
Jog-raphy.
122.) What did the baby corn say to the mom corn?
“Where’s popcorn?”
123.) What do you call high school kids who haven’t been able to go to school because of COVID-19?
Quaranteens.
124.) What did one hat say to the other?
Stay here, I’m going on ahead.
125.) Why do pirates have to learn the alphabet?
If they don’t, they’ll be lost at C.
126.) How are the parties organized at NASA?
They planet
127.) What is a cow without a map?
Udderly lost.
128.) What are the most popular perfumes for ages 12 to 18?
Adole-scents.
129.) What did one light bulb say to the other?
Watt’s up?
130.) Why are koalas not considered bears?
They do not have the required koalafications.
131.) What is the difference between a well-dressed man on a bike and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle?
Attire.
Corny Jests
There’s a chance that, despite your advanced years, you’re still just a goofy kid at heart. Let’s see if you smile with these corny punchlines. Here is a list of corny, clean jokes for teens:
132.) Are you free tomorrow?
No, I’m expensive. Sorry.
133.) Why is an obtuse angle always so depressed?
Because it is never right.
134.) Why does a music teacher need a ladder?
To reach high notes.
135.) How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line.
136.) Why did the period tell the comma to stop?
It was the end of the sentence.
137.) What did the punching bag say to the boxer?
Hit me, baby, one more time.
138.) What should you do when no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep going until you get a reaction.
139.) What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
140.) A science teacher tells his class, “Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773.” A boy responds, “Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise, I would have died without it.”
141.) Why does no one make friends with Dracula?
He is a pain in the neck.
142.) How do you know if a person doesn’t brush their teeth?
They have Bluetooth.
143.) Why did the cookie go to the nurse?
Because he felt crummy!
Tween Jokes FAQs
Tweens are 8-year-olds to 12-year-olds. They’re called tweens because they are in between children and teenagers.
I went to buy some camouflage pants the other day, but I couldn’t find any.
I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m okay.
By Mike O’Halloran
Mike is the founder and editor of Greeting Card Poet.
Etcetera
You are on our 143 Clean Jokes For Tweens page.
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