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You are here: Home / Retirement Quotes and Messages

Retirement Quotes and Messages

Our collection of retirement quotes and sayings will give you ideas for the perfect messaging when one of your colleagues, friends, or family members is retiring.

In addition to expressing appreciation for years of service and thanks for the friendship, retirement can also be a very happy occasion. With joy, comes humor, and we’ve showcased some funny quotations in the mix. Enjoy these 73+ retirement quotes, captions, and sayings!

Happy Retirement Quotes

1.) The trouble with retirement is you never get a day off.
Unknown

2.) I’ve been attending lots of seminars in my retirement. They’re called naps.
Merri Brownworth

3.) I never understood retirement. What is the attraction of retirement? I go down there to Florida and look around and I said, my God, who wants this? Not me.
Andy Rooney

4.) Throughout your career, you have been someone’s boss. Retirement is your chance to be your own.
Andy Atticus

retirement quotes and sayings image

Best Retirement Quotes

5.) There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
Bill Waterson, Calvin & Hobbes

6.) It’s a good, quiet retirement. Most days I do nothing, but it takes me all day to do it.
Barry Wilkin

7.) The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the best work I was best suited for was retirement.
Unknown

8.) Retirement is a blank sheet of paper. It is a chance to redesign your life into something new and different.
Patrick Foley

9.) You have to put off being young until you can retire.
Unknown

10.) My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum-security prison in Hawaii.
Julius Sharpe

11.) You can retire, but you can’t retire from being great!
Unknown

Check out Congratulations on Your Success Wishes.

Good Retirement Sayings

12.) Retirement has cured many businessman’s ulcers — and given his wife one!
Unknown

13.) We prefer to avoid men and to shun the world, in order that we may seek in retirement, the only peace that is possessing, the only happiness which is left us to enjoy.
Lord Acton

14.) In retirement, a man may have the company of the gods.
Epimenides

15.) Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap heap.
Simone De Beauvoir

16.) Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.
Gene Perret

17.) Retire from work, but not from life.
M.K. Soni

18.) Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.
Malcolm Forbes

You might like Happy Work Anniversary Memes and Images.

Funny Retirement Quotes

19.) When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.
Chi Chi Rodriguez

20.) Before deciding to take early retirement from your job, stay home a week and watch daytime television.
Author Unknown

21.) Sooner or later I’m going to die, but I’m not going to retire.
Margaret Mead

22.) A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job.
Ella Harris

23.) It’s a good, quiet retirement. Most days I do nothing, but it takes me all day to do it.
Barry Wilkin

24.) People who refuse to rest honorably on their laurels when they reach “retirement” age seem very admirable to me.
Helen Hayes

25.) I’m not tired. I’m retired.
Unknown

26.) Retirement: It’s nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.
Gene Perret

27.) I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see.
— John Burrough

Humorous Retirement Quotations

28.) Happiness is not having to set an alarm for the next day.
Unknown

29.) Retirement is not in my vocabulary. They aren’t going to get rid of me that way.
Betty White

30.) Don’t think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire.
Samuel Johnson

31.) The joy of retirement is having nothing to do and all day to do it.
Unknown

32.) As in all successful ventures, the foundation of a good retirement is planning.
Earl Nightingale

33.) The question isn’t at what age I want to retire, it’s at what income.
George Foreman

34.) To retire is the beginning of death.
Pablo Casals

35.) Retirement takes all the meaning out of weekends.
Unknown

36.) Retirement without the love of letters is a living burial
Seneca

Retirement Funny Quotes

37.) There’s one thing I always wanted to do before I quit… retire!
Groucho Marx

38.) My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty, and that’s the law.
Jerry Seinfeld

39.) Except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.
Robert Benchley

40.) When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.
R.C. Sherriff

41.) He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.
Douglas Adams

42.) It’s no longer a question of staying healthy. It’s a question of finding a sickness you like.
Jackie Mason

43.) Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.
Jonathan Clements

44.) In retirement, only money and symptoms are consequential.
Mason Cooley

45.) You know you’re ready to retire when you think “getting lucky” means finding your car in the parking lot.
Unknown

Inspirational Retirement Quotes

46.) Happy, Content, Relaxed, Rested, Smiling, Carefree. RETIRED.
Unknown

47.) The man who looks forward to retirement when he can go fishing seven times a week, soon finds himself doing the dishes three times a day.
Unknown

48.) During retirement, many a man works harder at loafing than he used to loaf at working.
Evan Esar

49.) WARNING: Retired person on the premises — Knows everything and has plenty of time to tell it!
Unknown

50.) I didn’t retire, I surrendered.
Unknown

51.) Based on my calculations, I can retire about 5 years after I die.
Unknown

52.) I have never liked working. To me, a job is an invasion of privacy.
Danny McGourty, Irish Pool Player

53.) There is no sense in being pessimistic about your retirement. It wouldn’t work anyway.
Unknown

54.) I’m not calling in sick. I’m calling in gone – as in gone fishing – forever.
Unknown

55.) I remember being able to wake up and not make sound effects.
Unknown

Retirement Thank You Sayings

56.) We appreciate all of your hard work. You’ve made it look easy, but, we know you’ve left big shoes to fill.
Unknown

57.) Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
Mark Twain

58.) Just when the caterpillar thought her life was over, she began to fly.
Unknown

59.) Musicians don’t retire; they stop when there’s no more music in them.
Louis Armstrong

Retirement Sayings for Cake

60.) Life begins at retirement.
Unknown

61.) Retirement: The money is no better but the hours are.
Unknown

62.) You know you’re retired when Happy Hour is a nap.
Unknown

63.) Stay young at heart, kind in spirit, and enjoy retirement living.

Good Retirement Captions

64.) Retirement is not the end of the road. It is the beginning of the open highway.

65.) The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
Abe Lemons

66.) Hello pension – goodbye tension!

67.) Now, gainfully unemployed!

68.) Time spent in laughter when one is retired is well invested.

69.) You got out alive!

Retirement Captions for Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn

70.) Retirement is wonderful if you have two essentials — much to live on and much to live for.

71.) Off the clock – for good!

72.) Take us with you!

73.) The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.

74.) Your new adventure awaits.

— Mike O’Halloran

Mike is an author and founder of Greeting Card Poet.

Etcetera

If you have suggestions for retirement quotes and sayings, please let us know via the Contact page. Thanks.

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You’re on Retirement Quotes, page 2 of 3 of Retirement Wishes, Quotes, and Messages

1 – Retirement Wishes

2 – Retirement Quotes

3 – Funny Retiring Messages

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