These funny positive quotes will certainly tickle your funny bone. Life is best lived with a sense of humor. Many of life’s difficulties and trivialities can become simpler with just the thought of something humorous. Here you will find not just amusing quotes, but inspirational thoughts too. You can find a deeper insight while also getting the opportunity to get a laugh. Perhaps some of these quotations will stick with you and keep inspiring over the long haul.
Share these funny positive quotes with friends and loved ones and bring a smile to their faces.
Funny Quotes About Life
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.
Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget tossing in the lifeboats.
Try walking forward while looking over your shoulder and see how far you get. The same goes for life. Look forward!
Words of Wisdom
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.
The secret of life is to appreciate the pleasure of being terribly, terribly deceived.
I cannot afford to waste my time making money.
The only normal people are the ones that you don’t know very well.
There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything and people who know absolutely nothing.
What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.
Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability.
George Bernard Shaw
If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.
The trouble with the rat-race is that, even if you win, you’re still a rat.
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
Check out our uplifting quotes to raise your spirits.
Amusing Inspirational Thoughts
There’s power in looking silly and not caring that you do.
I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.
When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.
If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
The reason so few people are successful is no one has yet found a way for someone to sit down and slide uphill.
W. Clement Stone
Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
Check out: Quotes for Cool People.
The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.
Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.
Who is more foolish? The fool or the fool that follows him?
A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it; it would be hell on earth.
George Bernard Shaw
Aspire to Inspire before you Expire!
Eugene Bell Jr.
If at first you don’t succeed, think how many people you’ve made happy.
H. Duane Black
You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
To be stupid, selfish and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.
Funny Positive Quotes
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
I’ve met a lot of hard-boiled eggs in my life, but you – you’re 20 minutes.
It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by then I was too famous.
The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been.
Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.
By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity – another man’s, I mean.
I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
Want is a growing giant whom the coat of Have was never large enough to cover.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.
When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
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