Funny Retirement Messages
Our funny retirement messages give you many ideas on introducing humor into a card, email, caption, or speech to express some fun retirement sentiments.
When your boss or work colleague is retiring, it tends to be a fun occasion when folks are looking for a reason to laugh. Adding appropriate humor is great, where folks laugh with everyone and not at anyone. It might take a little practice and planning.
Dig in with these funny retirement messages.
Happy Retirement Messages
- And so the adventure begins.
- We’ll all aspire to be as useless as you are in retirement someday. Enjoy it!
- He who laughs last at the boss’s jokes probably isn’t far from retirement.
- Woo Hoo! ‘Nuff said.
- Goodbye tension, hello pension.
- Congrats on your promotion… to professional napper!
- Never forget the difference you made.
- Congratulations on your retirement! May your days be filled with whatever you darn well please.
- Congratulations on extending your weekend by five days.
- Don’t worry, we’ll miss you more than you’ll miss work! Happy Retirement!
- The best chapter of your life is about to begin. Happy retirement!
Retirement: World’s longest coffee break.
Happy Retirement Wishes
- Think about the millions you have earned for your company in your career, then ask yourself why you couldn’t retire sooner.
- From being concerned about your 401K to worrying if Special K is still in the pantry — you’ve come a long way. Enjoy your well-deserved retirement.
- Celebrate all that you’ve accomplished!
- Time to enjoy the good life!
- Your real adventure awaits.
- Now retired, but always admired.
- Now, the fun really begins.
- Old enough to retire, young enough to enjoy it.
- Leaving so soon? Let the good times roll.
- The man, the myth, the legend is now retiring.
- Best of luck with your future adventures.
- They’ll have a hard time filling your shoes when you’re in flip-flops.
You might like Happy Work Anniversary Messages.
Funny Retirement Messages
- What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? Retired.
- I’m retired – give me that senior discount.
- We’re really going to miss doing all of your work for you.
- Take me with you! No, seriously, can you?
- You’re living proof we can all get out of here alive.
- You’re dead to us… JK, have a great retirement, and stay in touch.
- Retired and under new management. See the spouse for details.
- Retirement: Taking all the meaning out of weekends.
- Retired and down to one boss: my wife!
- Congrats on your re-tire-ment. Have a wheelie good time!
- You lucky bastard! All the best from all the rest.
- We took a vote, and it was decided that what you’re doing isn’t helping any of us.
- Still amazed you didn’t get fired first. JK, have some great adventures.
Check out Boss Day Messages.
What to write on a retirement card
- Congratulations on your retirement. Now you have more time to work on everything you’ve been putting off for so long.
- Retirement life is seven-day weekends. Congrats – you deserve all the best!
- Retirement: No Alarm Clock. No Commute. And No Problems.
- Retirement: Goodbye Tension, Hello Pension. We couldn’t be happier for you. So, get your happy on and have a great time. Send postcards when you think of it.
- Cheers to a new chapter!
- I hope your retirement is everything you dreamed it would be.
- Wishing you all the happiness in the world.
- Enjoy the relaxation and the freedom that all your hard work has earned.
- You will be missed immensely but never forgotten.
- Congratulations on living the dream!
You might like Success Congratulations Messages.
Retirement Card Messages
- For the love of God, take me with you! No, seriously. I will beg.
- You’ll be making the rest of your life the best of your life.
- Retired does not equal expired. Come by and check in with the old crew whenever you want. We’re already missing you.
- Relaxing days are here; at last, working 9 to 5 is part of your past.
- Say it with me: “No more Monday Meetings!”
- You are a person that I admire, even more so as you retire.
Tip: Check out this retirement calculator.
Retirement Definition
- Retirement: This is what “Get a Life” means.
- Where every day is Saturday.
- When you stop living at work and start working on living.
- Retirement: Now, the fun really begins.
- Taking all the meaning out of weekends.
- Where evening meals are eaten in the late afternoon.
- A day when you stop working and start living.
Retired definition
- Retired: Doing what I want when I want.
- This is why Facebook was invented.
- Earned it, living it, and loving it!
- Young at heart; slightly older in other places.
By Michael O’Halloran
Michael O’Halloran founded Greeting Card Poet in 2014 and has worked as its publisher and editor ever since. He has co-authored four books on kids’ trivia and four on coaching. Previously, Michael was the president of Magnetic Poetry. He has invented and brought to market over 75 new gift and toy products, most of which involve wordplay. Mike is married and a father of four daughters.
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