Irish quotes include a collection of funny sayings from the likes of Oscar Wilde, George Bernard Shaw, and others. These are some real words of wisdom to brighten up your days and remind you of Emerald Island.
Top of the morning.
The Best Irish Sayings
The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink, and somebody to love you.
I am a drinker with writing problems.
One drink is too many for me, and a thousand not enough.
There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.
I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
I only drink on two occasions — when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.
When I came back to Dublin, I was court-martialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
No strangers here, just friends you haven’t met!
Being Irish, I always had this love of words.
Praise, like gold and diamonds, owes its value only to its scarcity.
You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous.
Be they kings, or poets, or farmers,
They’re a people of great worth,
They keep company with the angels,
And bring a bit of heaven here to earth
May love and laughter light your days Irish in so many ways.
May you live all the days of your life.
There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting.
John Millington Synge
Health and a long life to you.
Land without rent to you.
A child every year to you.
And if you can’t go to heaven,
May you at least die in Ireland.
Funny Irish Quotes
When I die I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Ireland.
J. P. Dunleavy
The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven’t seen the joke yet.
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
There is an Irish way of paying compliments as though they were irresistible truths which makes what would otherwise be an impertinence delightful.
Katherine Tynan Hinkson
I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
Jerome K Jerome
I think the Irish woman was freed from slavery by bingo….
They can go out now, dressed up, with their handbags, and have a drink and play bingo. And they deserve it.”
John B. Keane
Humorous Irish Quotes
A nation reveals itself not only by the men it produces but also by the men it honors, the men it remembers.
John F. Kennedy
Every St. Patrick’s Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to.
The Irish are the only men who know how to cry for the dirty polluted blood of all the world.
I’m Irish. I think about death all the time.
May those who love us love us.
And those that don’t love us,
May God turn their hearts.
And if He doesn’t turn their hearts,
May he turn their ankles,
So we’ll know them by their limping.
Irish Quotes Funny
No human being believes that any other human being has a right to be in bed when he himself is up.
Every man of genius is considerably helped by being dead.
I’m troubled, I’m dissatisfied. I’m Irish!
I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.
A lament in one ear, maybe, but always a song in the other.
At a dinner party, one should eat wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely.
W. Somerset Maugham
You know it’s summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer.
If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.
One wonders in this place, why anyone is left in Dublin, or London, or Paris where it would be better, one would think to live in a tent or hut, with this magnificent sea and sky, and to breathe this wonderful air which is like wine in one’s teeth.
J. M. Synge
Ireland Sayings to Remember
Life is like a cup of tea,
it’s all in how you make it!
May the luck of the Irish
Lead to happiest heights
And the highway you travel
Be lined with green lights.
Now sweetly lies old Ireland
Emerald green beyond the foam,
Awakening sweet memories,
Calling the heart back home.
Always remember to forget
The things that made you sad.
But never forget to remember
The things that made you glad.
Ireland, it’s the one place on earth
That heaven has kissed
With melody, mirth,
And meadow and mist.
May the joys of today
Be those of tomorrow.
The goblets of life
Hold no dregs of sorrow.
George Bernard Shaw Quotes
I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversations.
There is no love sincerer than the love of food.
A man who loses his money gains, at the least, experience, and sometimes, something better.
The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor. He takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.
Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.
A life making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing at all.
Oscar Wilde Quotes
I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best, and I can resist everything but temptation.
Murder is always a mistake…One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner.
I like Wagner’s music better than anybody’s. It is so loud that one can talk the whole time without people hearing what one says.
There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
I love scandals about other people, but scandals about myself don’t interest me. They have not got the charm of novelty.
One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that, would tell one anything.
The good end happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what fiction means.
More from Oscar Wilde
I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
Man always wants to be a women’s first love.
Women have a more subtle instinct:
What they like is to be a man’s last romance.
I never saw a man who looked,
With such a wistful eye,
Upon that little tent of blue,
Which prisoners call the sky.
You might like: Learn more about St. Patrick and St. Patrick’s Day.
Irish Christmas Saying
A Merry Christmas this December
To a lot of folks, I don’t remember.
You might like our Big Merry Christmas page with wishes, greetings, quotes, funny quotations, images, and jokes.
William Butler Yeats Sayings
There are no strangers here, only friends that have not yet met.
Education is not filling
The intellect is forced to choose: Perfection of the life, or of the work.
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
We hope you enjoyed this collection of Irish quotes and sayings.
By Mike O’Halloran
Mike is an author and founder of Greeting Card Poet.
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