Irish quotes include a collection of funny sayings from the likes of Oscar Wilde, George Bernard Shaw, and others.
These are some real words of wisdom to brighten up your days and remind you of Emerald Island. And you might enjoy our collection of Irish Toasts.
Top of the morning to you!
Irish Sayings from Brendan Behan
1.) The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink, and somebody to love you.
2.) I am a drinker with writing problems.
3.) One drink is too many for me, and a thousand not enough.
4.) There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.
5.) I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
6.) I only drink on two occasions — when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.
7.) When I came back to Dublin, I was court-martialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
8.) No strangers here, just friends you haven’t met!
Ireland Wisdom
9.) Being Irish, I always had this love of words.
Kenneth Branagh
10.) Praise, like gold and diamonds, owes its value only to its scarcity.
Samuel Butler
11.) You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous.
Bonnie Tyler
12.) Be they kings, poets, or farmers,
They’re a people of great worth,
They keep company with the angels,
And bring a bit of heaven here to earth
Unknown
13.) May love and laughter light your days Irish in so many ways.
Unknown
14.) May you live all the days of your life.
Jonathan Swift
15.) There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting.
John Millington Synge
16.) Health and a long life to you.
Land without rent to you.
A child every year to you.
And if you can’t go to heaven,
May you at least die in Ireland.
Unknown
Funny Irish Quotes
17.) When I die, I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Ireland.
J. P. Dunleavy
18.) The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven’t seen the joke yet.
Oliver Herford
19.) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
Oliver Goldsmith
20.) There is an Irish way of paying compliments as though they were irresistible truths which makes what would otherwise be an impertinence delightful.
Katherine Tynan Hinkson
21.) I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
Jerome K Jerome
22.) I think the Irish woman was freed from slavery by bingo. They can go out now, dressed up, with their handbags, and have a drink and play bingo. And they deserve it.
John B. Keane
Humorous Irish Quotes
23.) A nation reveals itself not only by the men it produces but also by the men it honors, the men it remembers.
John F. Kennedy
24.) Every St. Patrick’s Day, every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to.
Shane Leslie
25.) The Irish are the only men who know how to cry for the dirty polluted blood of all the world.
Norman Mailer
26.) I’m Irish. I think about death all the time.
Jack Nicholson
27.) May those who love us love us.
And those that don’t love us,
May God turn their hearts.
And if He doesn’t turn their hearts,
May he turn their ankles,
So we’ll know them by their limping.
Unknown
Irish Quotes Funny
28.) No human being believes that any other human being has a right to be in bed when he himself is up.
Robert Lynd
29.) Every man of genius is considerably helped by being dead.
Robert Lynd
30.) I’m troubled; I’m dissatisfied. I’m Irish!
Marianne Moore
31.) I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.
Patrick Murray
32.) A lament in one ear, maybe, but always a song in the other.
Sean O’Casey
33.) At a dinner party, one should eat wisely but not too well and talk well but not too wisely.
W. Somerset Maugham
34.) You know it’s summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer.
Hal Roach
35.) If one could only teach the English how to talk and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.
Oscar Wilde
36.) One wonders in this place, why anyone is left in Dublin, or London, or Paris where it would be better; one would think to live in a tent or hut, with this magnificent sea and sky, and to breathe this wonderful air which is like wine in one’s teeth.
J. M. Synge
Ireland Sayings to Remember
37.) Life is like a cup of tea; it’s all in how you make it!
Unknown
38.) May the luck of the Irish
Lead to happiest heights
And the highway you travel
Be lined with green lights.
Unknown
39.) Now sweetly lies old Ireland
Emerald green beyond the foam,
Awakening sweet memories,
Calling the heart back home.
Unknown
40.) Always remember to forget
The things that made you sad.
But never forget to remember
The things that made you glad.
Unknown
41.) Ireland, it’s the one place on earth
That heaven has kissed
With melody, mirth,
And meadow and mist.
Unknown
42.) May the joys of today
Be those of tomorrow.
The goblets of life
Hold no dregs of sorrow.
Unknown
George Bernard Shaw Quotes
43.) I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversations.
44.) There is no love sincerer than the love of food.
45.) A man who loses his money gains, at the least, experience and, sometimes, something better.
46.) The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor. He takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch that I have got a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.
47.) Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.
48.) A life making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing at all.
Oscar Wilde Quotes
49.) I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best, and I can resist everything but temptation.
50.) Murder is always a mistake…One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner.
51.) I like Wagner’s music better than anybody’s. It is so loud that one can talk the whole time without people hearing what one says.
52.) There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
53.) I love scandals about other people, but scandals about myself don’t interest me. They have not got the charm of novelty.
54.) One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell one anything.
55.) The good end happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what fiction means.
More from Oscar Wilde
56.) I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train.
57.) Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
58.) Man always wants to be a women’s first love.
59.) Women have a more subtle instinct:
What they like is to be a man’s last romance.
60.) I never saw a man who looked,
With such a wistful eye,
Upon that little tent of blue,
Which prisoners call the sky.
You might like: Learn more about St. Patrick and St. Patrick’s Day.
Irish Christmas Saying
61.) A Merry Christmas this December
To a lot of folks, I don’t remember.
Unknown
You might like our Big Merry Christmas page with wishes, greetings, quotes, funny quotations, images, and jokes.
William Butler Yeats Sayings
62.) There are no strangers here, only friends that have not yet met.
63.) Education is not filling.
64.) The intellect is forced to choose: Perfection of the life or of the work.
65.) The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk, they are sober.
66.) We hope you enjoyed this collection of Irish quotes and sayings.
Irish Proverbs and Sayings
66.) You’ve got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.
67.) Do not resent growing old. Many are denied the privilege.
68.) Mothers hold their children’s hands for just a little while. And their hearts forever.
69.) May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been the foresight to know where you’re going, and the insight to know when you’re going too far
70.) May you be at the gates of heaven an hour before the devil knows you’re dead!
71.) What butter and whiskey won’t cure, there is no cure for.
72.) May the hinges of our friendship never grow rusty!
73.) Tis better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there’s no money!
74.) Here’s to eyes in your heads and none in your spuds.
Wise Irish Proverbs
75.) The older the fiddle, the sweeter the tune.
76.) A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book.
77.) Tis better to buy a small bouquet and give to your friend this very day, Than a bushel of roses white and red to lay on his coffin after he’s dead.
78.) A best friend is like a four-leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.
79.) Don’t be breaking your shin on a stool that’s not in your way.
80.) It is better to be a coward for a minute than dead the rest of your life.
Favorite Irish Sayings
81.) May peace and plenty be the first to lift the latch to your door. And happiness be your guest today and evermore.
82.) For each petal on the shamrock, this brings a wish your way. Good health, good luck, and happiness for today and every day.
83.) When the roaring flames of your love have burned down to embers, May you find that you’ve married your best friend.
84.) May your thoughts be as glad as the shamrocks. May your heart be as light as a song. And may each day bring you bright, happy hours. That stay with you all the year long.
85.) May your pockets be heavy. Your heart be light. And may good luck pursue you each morning and night.
Short Irish Sayings
86.) A little fire that warms is better than a big fire that burns.
87.) Never scald your lips with another man’s porridge.
88.) A friend’s eye is a good mirror.
89.) To wish you the luck of begorra! Not just for today but for every tomorra!
90.) Luck seldom lasts.
91.) Here’s to eyes in your heads and none in your spuds.
92.) May their soul be on God’s right hand.
93.) Good luck is better than early rising.
Irish Toasts
94.) Here’s to a long life and a merry one. A quick death and an easy one. A pretty girl and an honest one. A cold beer-and another one!
95.) May misfortune follow you the rest of your life and never catch up.
96.) May your thoughts be as glad as the shamrocks. May your heart be as light as a song. And may each day bring you bright, happy hours, That stay with you all the year long.
97.) May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past.
98.) May you have all the happiness and luck that life can hold. And at the end of all your rainbows, may you find a pot of gold.
99.) Wishin’ you a pot o’ gold and all the joy your heart can hold.
Old Irish Toasts
100.) May the hinges of our friendship never grow rusly.
101.) Long live the Irish!
Long live their cheer!
And long live our friendship
Year after year.
102.) Many blessings to cheer you each day of the year through. And the luck of the Irish in all that your do.
Irish Blessings and Sayings
103.) Grant me a sense of humor, Lord. The saving grace to see a joke, to win some happiness from life, and pass it on to other folk.
104.) God needed laughter in the world, so he made the Irish race. For they can meet life with a smile and turn a happy face.
105.) May the good saints protect you and bless you today. And may trouble ignore you each step of the way.
106.) Come and take pot-luck with me. My hearth is warm; my friendship’s free.
107.) May good luck be your friend in whatever you do. And may trouble be always a stranger to you.
St Patrick’s Day Quotes
108.) St. Patrick’s Day is an enchanted time a day to begin transforming winter’s dreams into summer’s magic.
Adrienne Cook
109.) That’s right; there’s free beer in Irish paradise. Everyone’s jealous.
Kevin Hearne, Hammered
110.) We may have bad weather in Ireland, but the sun shines in the hearts of the people and that keeps us all warm.
Marianne Williamson
111.) Ireland is a land of poets and legends, of dreamers and rebels.
Nora Roberts
112.) Everyone’s Irish tonight.
Norman Reedus, The Boondock Saints
Irish Folk Wisdom on Friendship
113.) Friends are better than gold.
114.) He who holds his tongue keeps his friends.
115.) The friend that can be bought is not worth buying.
116.) It is better to be alone than in bad company.
117.) A constant guest is never welcome.
118.) Don’t put your friend in your pocket.
119.) A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest.
120.) The coldness of a friend, like the coldness of linen, never lasts long.
121.) Two are stronger together than far apart in crossing a stream.
122.) Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but an enemy’s kisses are deceitful.
On Luck
123.) f you’re lucky enough to be Irish. You’re lucky enough.
124.) It is better to be lucky than rich.
125.) The man who has luck in the morning has luck in the afternoon.
126.) No door closes without opening another door.
127.) A fool has all the luck.
128.) Nothing is ever as bad as it seems.
129.) A meeting in the sunlight is lucky, and a burying in the rain.
130.) Prosperity often comes to the easygoing.
131.) Let each person judge his own luck, good or bad.
132.) The lucky person has only to be born.
On Animals
133.) Nature shines through the cat’s eyes.
134.) It’s hard to teach an old dog to dance.
135.) Every man is a lion over what’s his own.
136.) If a cat sits long enough at the hole, she will catch the mouse.
137.) The fawn is swifter than its mother.
138.) In spite of the fox’s cunning, his skin is often sold.
139.) The cow can give her calf only what she has.
140.) Be good to the dog, and he will follow you.
141.) One cow breaks the fence, and a dozen leap it.
142.) Every little frog is great in his own bog.
143.) It’s hard to stop an old horse from kicking.
144.) There is no fight like the old dog’s fight.
145.) What would you expect from a cow but a moo?
146.) The older the buck, the harder his horn.
More Animal Folk Wisdom
147.) An old dog won’t change his way of thinking.
148.) It is natural for the kid to bleat.
149.) Often it’s not the best horse that wins the race.
150.) The wren spreads his feet wide in his own home.
151.) The dog that fetches will carry.
152.) The fish that bites every worm will be caught in time.
153.) Even a good horse cannot keep running forever.
154.) A tiny bee can make a large cow gad.
155.) The fox will go no further than his feet can carry.
156.) It’s a good horse that pulls its own load.
157.) Sweet sings each bird in its own grove.
On Love and Home
158.) Love is blind to blemishes and fault.
159.) She who fills the heart fills the eye.
160.) There is no cure for love but marriage.
161.) Marriages are all happy; it’s having breakfast together that causes all the problems.
162.) The blanket is the warmer for being doubled.
163.) It is easier to demolish a house than to build one.
164.) A son like the mother and a daughter like the father.
165.) There’s no love until there’s a family.
166.) Keep your house, and your house will keep you.
167.) There’s no hearth like your own hearth.
Folk Wisdom Words of Advise
168.) Silence is the same as confession.
169.) A good name is easier lost than gained.
170.) Promising but not fulfilling is worse than refusing.
171.) Save a coin and spend a coin, and you’ll be happy.
172.) A change of job is as good as vacation.
173.) He who will not flee will be fled from.
174.) Falling is easier than rising.
175.) A good run is better than a bad stand.
Clever Irish Sayings
176.) A man’s mouth can break his nose.
177.) There is no cure for grief but to put it underfoot.
178.) When the apple is ripe, it will fall.
179.) Quick to love, quick to hate.
180.) A sting often lurks behind a kiss.
181.) If you see an Irishman with a tan, it’s rust.
182.) A look before is better than two behind.
183.) It’s a good story that fills the belly.
184.) Hills that are far away always look green.
Words of Caution
185.) Be afraid and you’ll be safe.
186.) A man’s tongue will often give him a big bite to chew.
187.) Forgetting a debt does not pay it.
188.) Avoid the person who considers his opinion a certainty.
189.) Do not light a fire you cannot yourself put out.
190.) Hesitation is buying is better than delay in paying.
191.) “Will you” was never a good fellow.
192.) A sweet tongue is rarely without a sting to it.
Wise Words
193.) There’s no happiness without an inch of sorrow.
194.) Crying is not far from laughter.
195.) Often there is great darkness with little rain.
196.) Always remember that hindsight is the best insight to foresight.
197.) A small spark has often kindled a great fire.
198.) It’s difficult to soothe the proud.
199.) Fame is longer than life.
200.) Kiss me; I’m Irish!
By Mike O’Halloran
Mike is an author and founder of Greeting Card Poet.
Etcetera
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