We’re excited to present our collection of 173 Funny Drinking Toasts. Raising a glass and offering a toast to a friend is a tradition that dates back into antiquity. You may drink to health, friendship, love, or a whole variety of topics.
Toasting is a custom that begins with raising a glass, followed by the toaster sharing some well-thought-of words, a clinking of glasses, and a hearty swig of the beverage contained therewithin.
Before you, we’ve collected dozens of toasts for a variety of purposes. Have a read-through, bookmark this page, and come back when you need a solid toast. Cheers!
Cheers, My Dears!
Here’s looking at you, although heaven knows it takes all of my efforts.
May the skin of your bum never cover a drum.
Here’s to you. You may not be as wise as an owl, but you’re always a hoot!
May we be in heaven half an hour before the Devil knows we’re dead!
To the three rings of marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering!
May life last as long as it is worth wearing.
Here’s that we may eat the hen that scratches on our grave.
Here’s to whiskey, scotch, or rye, amber, smooth, and clear; it’s not as sweet as a woman’s lips, but a damn sight more sincere!
Wise, kind, gentle, generous, sexy… but enough about me. Here’s to you!
To clean glasses and old corks.
That we may drink no more than a sponge!
May you enter heaven late.
Let no man thirst for lack of good whiskey.
Here’s to those who have seen us at our best and seen at our worst and can’t tell the difference.
May you work like you don’t need the money, love like you’ve never been hurt, dance like nobody’s watching, and drink like a true Irishman.
Here’s to friends and family who know us well but love us just the same!
Here’s to staying positive and testing negative!
Though life is now pleasant and sweet to the sense,
We’ll be damnably moldy a hundred years hence.
Live long and prosper.
To all that give you pleasure.
May you live all the days of your life.
Bank on It!
Friendship: May differences of opinion cement it!
To high winds and mermaids!
May this be the least happy day of your life.
May you live as long as you like!
To absent friends.
Success to temperance!
May your beautiful lips never blister!
Sto-lyat! (a hundred years)
To my schizophrenic friend. He’s good people.
To friends: as long as we are able.
May all your ups and downs be under the covers!
Birthday Drinking Toasts
To another twirl around the sun!
Another year has passed, and you’re no older than the last!
May you live to be a hundred years old with one extra year to repent.
Happy birthday to you for years to come. We’ll explore them together for a life filled with love, joy, and fun. Happy birthday, darling!
To this fine person standing before me. On your birthday, I wish you nothing but the best in your future endeavors and want you to know that we all are proud of you and love you dearly. As one of the most brilliant minds once said, “Stay hungry. Stay foolish”.
Another year has been added to your life. As you look back at the recent pages of your life, take comfort and pride in your achievements. Today, take time to relax and enjoy your day because you deserve it!
True friendship means loving each other for who we really are. Lucky for me, you make it easy since you are so lovable. Stay true to yourself forever!
Happy Birthday Cheers
Here’s a toast to the most wonderful person I have ever met. Your energy and vibrancy touch anyone who crosses your path. Everyone in this room here today is better for knowing you, and we are truly thankful for you being a part of our lives. Happy birthday!
Let us have a toast to one of the best men I have enjoyed getting to know. This may be another year to add to his age, but he is only getting better with the years, like a fine drink. Happy Birthday.
Cheers to the greatest person I know! You’re so amazing, and you inspire me to do great in everything! Happy birthday!
Here’s to friends. They know you well and like you just the same.
Here’s to a cold night, warm friends, and a good drink to give ‘em.
I drink to the brew of our friendship; it goes to my heart, but never to my head.
There are good ships, and there are wood ships, the ships that sail the sea. But the best ships are friendships, and may they always be!
The warmth of home and hearth, the cheer and goodwill of friends, and the hope of a childlike heart to you all!
Some ships are wooden ships, but those ships may sink. The best ships are friendships, and to those ships, we drink.
Old friends are scarce. New friends are few; Here’s hoping I’ve found One of each in you.
Here’s to our friends – in the hopes that they, wherever they are, are drinking to us!
May the roof above us never fall in, and may we as friends never fall out!
To our best friends who know the worst about us but refuse to believe any of it.
It is around the table that friends understand best the warmth of being together.
Our friendship is like old wine of vintage rare and fine, a toast to many happy days, rare good luck, and pleasant ways!
Old wood to burn, old books to read, old wine to drink, old friends to trust!
May you be seven times better off a year from now.
May the devil say a prayer for you.
Here’s to the health of your enemies’ enemies!
May those who love you, and those who don’t love you, may God turn their hearts. And if He doesn’t turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles so you’ll know them by their limping!
Always remember to forget the things that made you sad. But never forget to remember the things that made you glad.
Dance as if no one were watching, sing as if no one were listening, and live every day as if it were your last. Let’s drink for life!
May they be filled with fond memories, happiness, and laughter!
I have known many, liked not a few, loved only one. I drink to you!
May your troubles are less, And your blessings are more. And nothing but happiness come through your door!
May you die in bed at ninety-five years, shot by a jealous husband (or wife).
May the path to hell grow green for lack of travelers.
Check out more Toasts from Ireland.
May your pockets be heavy, and your heart be light. May good luck pursue you each morning and night.
Here’s to a long life and a merry one. A quick death and an easy one. A pretty girl and an honest one. A cold beer and another one!
Here’s to the land of the shamrock so green, to each lad and his darlin’ colleen, and to the ones we love dearest and most.
Cheers In Irish
Sláinte! (Pronounced as slawn-che)
Here’s to you two a beautiful pair,
on the birthday of your love affair.
Here is to love, to romance, to us.
May we travel together through time.
We alone count as none, but together we’re one,
For our partnership puts love to rhyme.
You might like Anniversary Wishes.
Toasts To Prosperity And Wealth
May poverty always be a day’s march away.
To all the pleasures that other people’s money pays for!
May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings, slow to make enemies, and quick to make friends!
Here’s to a speedy calm to the storms of life.
May we always be fired with enthusiasm for our work and never fired enthusiastically by our clients!
Here’s to beauty, wit, and wine, and a full stomach, a full purse, and a light heart!
To work; the easiest device man has invented to escape boredom.
To success – making more money to meet obligations you wouldn’t have if you didn’t make so much money!
When climbing the hill of prosperity, may we never meet a friend coming down!
May your heart be light and happy. May your smile be big and wide. And may your pockets always have a coin or two inside.
Here’s to health, peace, and prosperity – may the flower of love never be nipped by the frost of disappointment, nor the shadow of grief fall among a member of this circle!
Here’s to health and prosperity, to you and all your posterity. And them that doesn’t drink with sincerity, that they may be damned for all eternity!
May your troubles be less, And your blessings be more.
May you live a healthy and wealthy life.
Let’s have a toast to the incompetence of our enemies.
A good wife and health are a man’s best wealth.
To prosperity! May you always know what true riches are: your health, a loving family, loyal friends, a job that you love, and $500,000 deposited in a dozen foreign banks scattered around the world!
May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been, the foresight to know where you’re going, and the insight to know when you have gone too far.
May we live to learn well and learn to live well!
Ask nothing that is not clearly right, and submit to nothing wrong.
The best of wisdom, happiness, honor, and fortunes keep with you!
Here’s to wine, wit, and wisdom. Wine enough to sharpen wit, wit enough to give zest to wine, wisdom enough to “shut down” at the right time.
Here’s to wisdom. May it come with age!
Let’s raise another glass. This time to wisdom. May we always learn from our mistakes!
You’ve traveled through life together. Enjoying years of wedded bliss. We congratulate you on reaching. And we toast your happiness!
May every day be happier than the last!
I’d catch moonlight in a bottle if we could drink a toast to happiness.
But rich or poor, quick or slow, may you know nothing but happiness from this day forward!
Here’s to you, my happiness—you, who halves my sorrows and doubles my joys.
May the future hold your happiness. May the future hold your health. And, may your heart hold your love, and may your arms hold your babies yet to come. Here’s to your future happiness!
To happiness. It is not having what you want but wanting what you have!
May their joys are as deep as the ocean, And their misfortunes as light as the foam.
May the joys you share today be the beginning of a lifetime of great happiness and fulfillment!
So raise your glasses to the only one happiness in life – to love and be loved!
We drank a toast to happiness. We drank a toast to now. And tried to reach beyond the emptiness, but neither one knew how.
Toasts To Love
Here’s to you who halves my sorrows and doubles my joys.
May we all have the unspeakable good fortune to win a true heart and the merit to keep it.
Here’s to the land we love and love we land.
Let’s drink to love, which is nothing — unless it’s divided by two!
Here’s to the photos on my desk… may they never meet.
May your love be like the misty rain, gentle coming in but flooding the river!
To love. After all, the secret to a successful marriage only requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
To love. May you see each other through many dark days and make all the rest a little brighter.
Here’s to love, the only fire against which there is no insurance!
May your love be added. May it never be subtracted. And, may your household multiply, and may your hearts never be divided!
I have known many, and liked a few,
Loved one – Here’s to you!
May your love be modern enough to survive the times but old-fashioned enough to last forever.
To the lamp of love – may it burn brightest in the darkest hours and never flicker in the winds of trial!
Here’s to doing and drinking, not sitting and thinking.
Another day another bender, no retreat, and no surrender!
May you always have a clean shirt, a clear conscience, and enough coins in your pocket to buy a pint!
Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life. So let’s get wasted all of the time and have the time of our life!
Drink today and drink all sorrow; You shall perhaps not do tomorrow; Best while you have it, use your breath; There is no drinking after death.
Here’s to alcohol, the rose-colored glasses of life.
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. And, when we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!
Drink to the girls and drink to their mothers, drink to their fathers and drink to their brothers, toast their health as long as you are able, and dream of their charms while you’re under the table!
If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and drink myself up. But the ocean’s not beer, and I’m not a duck, so let’s drink these pints and get messed up.
When money’s tight and hard to get, and your horse has also run. When all you have is a heap of debt, a pint of plain is your only man!
Good drinking toasts for a holiday like Christmas are a necessity. Check these out.
- May you be as contented as Christmas finds you all the year-round.
- Peace and plenty for many a Christmas to come.
- Then let us be merry and taste the good cheer,
- And remember old Christmas comes but once a year.
- I know I wished you this before but every year I wish it more: A Merry Christmas to You!
- Holly and ivy hanging up
And something wet in every cup.
- God bless us every one!
Tiny Tim’s toast in A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
- And so, this Christmas season May our hearts with gladness glow, As we read the blessed story that took place so long ago!
- Here’s to the holly with its bright red berry. Here’s to Christmas, let’s make it merry!
Christmas… A day when cheer and gladness blend. When heart meets heart, and friend meets a friend.
I know I’ve wished you this before, but every year I wish it more. A Merry Christmas!
Let us remember that the Christmas heart is a giving heart, a wide-open heart that thinks of others first. The birth of the baby Jesus stands as the most significant event in all history because it has meant the pouring into a sick world of the healing medicine of love which has transformed all manner of hearts for almost two thousand years. Underneath all the bulging bundles is this beating Christmas heart.
May you have the gladness of Christmas, which is hope; The spirit of Christmas, which is peace; The heart of Christmas, which is love!
A Christmas wish – may you never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten!
Check out Christmas Quotes & Greetings
So before we end and then begin, we’ll drink a toast to how it’s been. A few more hours to be complete, a few more nights on satin sheets. A few more times than I can say, I’ve loved these days.
Here’s to the year past and friends who have left us, here’s to the present and the friends who are here, here’s to the New Year and the new friends who will join us!
Wishing you more happiness than all my words can tell, not just for the holidays, but for all the year as well.
To us and our success as a group this past year, and to you and your families for health, peace, and more wonderful times in the coming year!
Here’s to a bright New Year and a fond farewell to the old; Here’s to the things that are yet to come and the memories that we hold!
In the New Year, may your right hand always be stretched out in friendship and never in want!
Famous Toasts from Movies and TV
- Here’s to plain speaking and clear understanding.
Sam Spade (Humphrey Bogart), The Maltese Falcon
- To the men we loved: the stinkers.
Ida Corwin (Eve Arden), Mildred Pierce
- To making it count.
Jack Dawson (Leonardo DiCaprio), Titanic
- Live long and prosper.
Spock (Leonard Nimoy), Star Trek
- To long lives and short wars.
Colonel Sherman Potter (Harry Morgan), M*A*S*H
Here’s to an honest man — the noblest work of God.
To the confounding of our enemies.
Nine times nine cheers!
19th-century toast frequently referencing at Queen Victoria
Freedom from mobs as well as kings!
We mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor.
To the memory of George Washington,
The childless father of seventy million!
- Drink down all unkindness.
The Merry Wives of Windsor, Act I
- I wish you all the joy you can wish.
The Merchant of Venice, Act III
- A flock of blessings light upon thy back.
Romeo and Juliet, Act III
- The best of happiness, honor, and fortunes keep with you.
Timon of Athens, Act I
- Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.
Twelfth Night, Act III
When celebrating a marriage, there are plentiful reasons to know good drinking toasts.
Groom Or Bride Toast
May our wedding days be few and our anniversaries many!
May you never steal, lie, or fool, but if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows, and if you must lie, lie with me all the nights of my life, and if you must fool, then please fool death because I couldn’t live a day without you.
Here’s to love, laughter, and happily ever after!
May our children be blessed with rich parents!
To keep a marriage brimming with love in the loving cup – when you are wrong, admit it and when you are right, shut up. Cheers!
May all your hopes and dreams come true, and may the memory of this day become dearer with each passing year.
To our best friends, who know the most about us, but refuse to believe it!
May your love be as endless as your wedding rings.
Best Man Toast
May your wedding days be few and your anniversaries be many.
Down the hatch to a beautiful match!
Wishing them all the health, wealth, and happiness in the world, I’d like you all to join me in toasting the happy couple: ladies and gentlemen, the bride and groom.
Here’s to the groom, a man who kept his head even while he lost his heart.
What an honor it has been to serve as [Groom’s] best man. And it’s even more of an honor to ask you all to join me in toasting the newlyweds. Cheers!
You two are fantastic together. May the flame burn long—and may sparks continue to fly to the newlyweds. Cheers!
Now, everyone, please raise your glass and join me in a toast. To Mindy and Josh: May you be friends to each other as only lovers can, and may you love each other as only best friends can. Congratulations!
Charlie…Jennifer…” (Raise your glass, and then pause for a bit) “To a lifetime of joy, love, and fulfillment!
To my best friend and his beautiful bride: the new Mr and Mrs [X].
Here’s to a sweetheart, a bottle, and a friend. The first beautiful, the second full, the last ever faithful!
Please make sure your glasses are charged and join me in toasting the new Mr and Mrs [X]. Ladies and gentlemen, to the bride and groom!
I’m honored and proud to stand here today, to raise a glass to him and his bride, Samantha.
And now all I have left to do is to say what a privilege it is to ask everyone here to charge their glasses and – for those of you who still can! – to rise to your feet. Ladies and Gentlemen… the bride and groom!
Father Of The Bride Toasts
May you grow old on one pillow.
A toast to love and laughter and happily ever after.
May she share everything with her husband, including the housework. Cheers!
Let us raise our glasses and toast the happy couple. The bride has been like a ray of warm sunlight on my soul from the day she was born. Now, she begins a new life, and there will be another man to whom she will turn for love and protection. But I want her to know her father will always be there for her. Cheers!
Let’s now raise our glasses to the bride and the groom. May they have a special yet simple lifelong relationship.
Here is to my daughter and her new husband. Raise your glasses and remember this truth. Her lucky man and I have each gained something this fine and blessed day. He gains a wife and a life companion, while I gain a whole new stack of bills to pay.
To the New Couple
It is written, when children find true love, parents find true joy. Here’s to your joy and ours from this day forward!
I ask you to join me today to congratulate the bride and groom and wish them all the best for a long and happy life together!
Here’s to (the name of the bride), the most beautiful bride I’ve seen since her mother 30 years ago. And to (the name of the groom), the most chivalrous man I’ve met by far. Cheers!
A toast to my daughter. She was a gift from God, and I will always be grateful to have been given the honor of being her father. May God continue to bless her and her new husband and grant them safety, love, and happiness all the days of their lives!
Is there a more exciting time in a couple’s life than celebrating the birth of a new child. Pull out some drinking toasts to add fun to the event.
- A new life has begun:
Like father, like son.
- Grandchildren are gifts of God. It’s God’s way of compensating us for growing old.
- Like one, like the other,
Like daughter, like mother.
Wishing you more happiness than all my words can tell, not just for the holidays, but for all the year as well.
Health to my body, wealth to my purse, the heaven to my soul, and I wish you no worse.
Here’s to the day of goodwill, cold weather, and warm hearts!
We don’t always have to agree, but we must empower each other. We must find common ground and build bridges across our differences to pursue the common good. Toast to the common good, which is needed more now than ever!
Here’s to it, and from it, and to it again, and if you don’t do it when you get to it, you may never get to it to do it again!
May we be who our dogs think we are.
Here’s to us all! God bless us every one!
May misfortune follow you the rest of your life, and never catch up!
Toasts To Health
One of the most common drinking toasts topics is to drink to the good health of all around the table.
Here’s to health to my soul and health to my heart; where this is going, there’s gone many a quart!
Here’s to health; may you live as long as you like and have all you like as long as you live. Cheers!
Here’s to health to everyone,
Peace on earth and heaven won.
May God bring you luck, and may your journey be smooth and happy. To your health!
To health. A toast to your health. May we drink one together in ten years and a few in between!
I drink to your health when I’m with you. I drink to your health when I’m alone. And, I drink to your health so often, I’m starting to worry about my own!
I’ll drink to your happiness and your health. I’ll drink until I ruin myself!
Dose matters. Tradeoffs are likely. Uncertainty is inescapable. Pleasure and health both matter and interact. To that constellation, I raise a toast!
To health, wealth, and happiness… and the time to enjoy them.
Here’s health to those I love and wealth to those who love me!
Here’s to your good health and your family’s good health, and may you all live long and prosper!
May the Lord love us but not call us too soon.
Toast To Coworkers And Boss
I would like to propose a toast to our boss, Ms. ______, and thank her for this wonderful company party. I’m sure we’ll be finding confetti in the stairs for the next six months, but it’ll always remind us of your generosity. Cheers!
To all the fine people who came out tonight, and to all the people I work with, too!
(After giving a short speech) Well, that’s about it. I know that so much effusive appreciation sounds like the punch talking, but I mean every word with absolute sincerity. So let’s all raise our glasses to this wonderful team: to your tremendous successes this last year and to even greater times in the New Year!
Drinking Toasts For All Occasions
May we be alive at this same time again next year!
May you never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Here’s to Man: He is like a kerosene lamp: he is not over bright; he is often turned down; he generally smokes, and he frequently goes out at night!
To the riotous enjoyment of a quiet conscience.
Here’s to us that are here, to you that are there, and the rest of us everywhere.
May your right hand always be stretched out in friendship and never in want.
Another day, another bender. No retreat, no surrender!
Here’s to the floor, who will hold you when no one else will. May we get what we want, but never what we deserve!
Here’s to the have-beens, the are-nows, and the may-be’s!
May the road rise to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. And, may the sun shine warm upon your face. And rains fall soft upon your fields. Until we meet again, may God hold you in the hollow of His hand!
It is easy enough to be pleasant when life goes along like a song, But the man worthwhile is the one with a smile when everything goes dead wrong.
Victory Drinking Toasts
Here’s to the sweet smell of success.
We all know the medal Kevin won for the two-hundred-meter butterfly resulted from more than just his ability as a swimmer. It was a testament to his great discipline and resolve, and for that, we congratulate him.
Let’s have a drink, let’s have some fun. Because, at last, the job is done.
Henry, your fellowship to study overseas, will not only expand your horizons but should be your springboard toward achieving even more. We always knew you had it in you, and we wish you a productive and exciting year.
To the profound ignorance, we brought to this endeavor; because had we known what was ahead.
Reunion Drinking Toasts
Here’s a toast to all who are here, no matter where you’re from; May the best day you have ever seen be worse than the worst to come.
To the good old days – when we weren’t so good because we weren’t so old.
We also honor those who taught and encouraged us. We remember old friends – those with us now, those who couldn’t make it, and those who are no longer with us. Dear friends, lift your glasses with me to our younger selves – their activities, plans, and promise. May we always remember with gratitude their part in making us who we are today.
To the future before us all. To the present around us. And to the past – to those intense flashbacks as we walk these familiar paths, and to the 18-year-olds in all of us.
Today we toast our memories – the students, athletes, and friends we once were – reunited for a time, reliving our shared past. Everything that happened here played its part in shaping us, so we return to remember the youth we were.
When we are gathered to carouse, my eloquence fails me because there’s a silly song that runs through my head, “Hail, hail, the gang’s all here, So what the hell do we care? What the hell do we care? Hail, hail, the gang’s all here. So what the hell do we care now?”
Drinking Toasts Around the World
- Czech: Na zdravi
- Danish: Skal
- Dutch: Proost
- Finnish: Kippis
- French: Sante or A la votre
- German: Prost
- Greek: ΥΓΕΙΑ
- Irish: Slainte
- Italian: Salute or Cin cin
- Japanese: Kanpai
- Polish: Na zdrowie
- Portuguese: Saude
- Spanish: Salud
- Thai: Chok dee
- Yiddish: Sei gesund
Drinking toasts call for a group of people to raise their glasses and drink in honor of a person, place, or thing. One may toast to health, friendship, love, or a whole assorted other reasons.
What Does “Cheers” mean?
Cheers is an expression of good wishes before enjoying a drink. The word cheers has also taken on the meaning of goodbye and thank-you in some areas. It is one of the most common drinking toasts around.
Most believe that the tradition of clinking glasses began to complete the participation of all five senses. Much like shaking hands, the clinking also implies a fellowship and communal aspect to the celebration or event.
Some also believe the clinking and cheering afterward helped ward off evil spirits. Clinking might spill some of the drink on the floor for the spirits to enjoy and leave participants alone.
Another theory has it that the clinking served as a deterrent for anyone to attempt to poison your drink. When the clinking happens, so drink from one cup falls into the next. This mixing of the liquids would make someone less likely to want to drop poison into your glass.
How to Make A Toast
Even though you now know which toast to use when you should follow a few tips.
- Know your audience. Some toasts can incorporate language that is more appropriate for adults. Understand the situation, who is listening, and what message makes the most sense because of that.
- Practice your toast in advance in the comforts of your own home with a smaller audience.
- Remember that, traditionally, for any event, the very first person to toast is the host or the hostess, then followed by the guests. Instead of banging on your glass, it is better to simply stand and raise your glass to get the people’s attention. This approach will get your drinking toasts started in an orderly way.
- Traditionally, it is preferred to propose the toast during the dessert course.
- Stay focused on the toast. Don’t add ancillary information that distracts from the main toast.
- Remember to keep a copy of the toast you want to make in your pocket in case you forget. In case you decide to form your own toast, remember to keep the level of formality required in check.
- Make sure that your drinking toasts are not insulting to any of the guests.
Well, we hope you learned a thing or two about toasts. Cheers!
By Mike O’Halloran
Mike is the founder and editor of Greeting Card Poet.
You’re on our Funny Drinking Toasts: Friendship, Wedding, Health page.
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