What is it that makes bad pick up lines terrible? It’s more than just the moans or groans it may receive after being delivered it’s the consistent use of bad puns, double negatives and embarrassing, confusing cringe-worthy, and just down-right offensive language.
Ironically, some of these pick-up lines might actually work in the right situation. Ever since men and women could grunt there have been pick-up lines. Who can forget the very first caveman who said “Ugh?” Breaking the ice with someone you would like to build a relationship with can be daunting. Nerves kick in and sometimes the poor choice of words just falls out of your mouth. Let’s start with these terrible pickup lines.
Really Bad Pick Up Lines
1.) Wanna get lucky?
(Short and stupid, the answer is always going to be “no.”)
2.) What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
(Possibly the most over-used pick-up line of all time. Don’t say it, just don’t say it.)
3.) If you have a few more drinks I just might start looking good.
(This only works if you pay for the drinks.)
4.) Are there any more at home like you?
(This only works if you’re the wingman or wing woman.)
5.) It’s handy that I have a library card because I’m totally checking you out.
(If you want any chance for this to work, you should hold your library card visibly in your hand when you deliver it.)
6.) Gee, you don’t sweat much for a girl your size.
(There is no way you can talk your way out of this pick-up line)
7.) If you were a burger at McDonald’s you’d be a McGorgeous!
(Huh? Mickey-D’s probably isn’t the restaurant you want to associate a possible mate with.)
8.) (Hold your hand out and say…) Do my fingers smell funny?
(Nothing funny about it, and it’s going to get you nowhere fast.)
9.) I’ve had a fair amount to drink, and you don’t look too bad.
(Again, no way to talk yourself out of this hole.)
10.) Of course, I’m acting nuts, you drive me crazy.
(If you do act a little crazy it enhances the effect, but act too crazy and it’s embarrassing.)
Dumb Pick-Up Lines
11.) If you were a steak you would be well done. (Groan.)
12.) Where have you been all my life? (This line will never work.)
13.) Are you cake because I want a piece of that? (This embarrassing pick-up line could get you slapped.)
14.) Your place or mine? (This pick-up line will get you no place.)
Cheesiest Pick-Up Lines
Sometimes a pick-up line can be just plain confusing. What is the person trying to say? They said what? It could be just a simple misunderstanding. A simple line like “Your hair smells nice” can be totally misconstrued. Especially if the person delivering the line has his face buried in your hair. Creepy, just creepy. If the recipient of the pick-up line says “Huh?” You’re in trouble. Or if she says, “what does that even mean?” You’re also in a bad place. So, let’s give you some examples of confusing pick-up lines that you should not use at any cost.
15.) Are you a 45-degree angle because you’re a cutie?
16.) Can I be your personal teddy bear and sleep on your bed?
17.) There’s a magnet in my clothes and I’m attracted to your buns of steel.
18.) Girl, you got more legs than a bucket of chicken!
19.) You’ve got the whitest teeth I’ve ever seen!
20.) What’s your favorite silverware because I like to spoon!
21.) My two favorite letters of the alphabet are E.Z.
22.) Your Daddy must be a drug lord because you’re dope.
Check out Pick Up Lines Funny.
Stupid Chat Up Lines
23.) I’ve got a thirst baby and you smell like Gatorade.
24.) Excuse me, but I think you dropped something. My jaw.
25.) Is your mom a chicken because you are egg-cellent!
26.) I feel like a Corvette because I couldn’t stop myself from accelerating myself over to you.
Bad Pick-Up Lines for Girls
You know the pick-up line that makes you scrunch up your face and maybe gives you the shivers? That’s a cringe-worthy pick-up line. It can be suggestive, overly flirtatious, or just plain stupid. Some of these pick-up lines could do more damage than good. A short pick-up line like ”Hi, you’ll do,” can be just as ill-received as a line like, “Is your last name Ritz? Cause you’re a real cracker.” Face it, if you have the audacity to use a cringe worth pick-up line, you just may be out of the game. Here are some cringe-worthy pick-up lines read and use them at your own risk.
27.) I feel like a pizza. A pizza you.
28.) Was your mother a beaver? Because damn!
29.) You must be a tower because Eiffel for you.
30.) Hello, the voices in my head told me to come to see you.
31.) If I had to rate you on a scale of 1 to 10, I’d rate you a 9 because I am the one you’re missing.
32.) I believe in God because you’re the answer to my prayers.
33.) Quick, pass me the inhaler. You took my breath away.
34.) You’re hotter than the bottom of my laptop.
35.) I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bedrock.
36.) Do you like bacon? Wanna strip?
37.) Hey, baby, do you have any cavities? I can check it out with my tongue.
Horrible Pick Up Lines
This is probably the worst subset of the bad pick-up lines. If you are dumb enough to think that one of these lines will work, you need professional help. Just imagine delivering the line…”You smell, we should go take a shower together.” Inappropriate and offensive, a twofer, but not the kind you want. An offensive pick-up line will get the proverbial door slammed in your face at the speed of light. Just stay away from the Pick-up lines listed below and you should be okay.
38.) Do you work at Starbucks because I love you a latte.
39.) Good thing I’m wearing gloves because you are too hot to handle.
40.) Are you a parking ticket? Because you have “fine” written all over you.
41.) What is on the menu? Me – N – U!
Worst Pick Up Lines
42.) Other than being beautiful, what do you do for a living?
43.) Are you tired? You’ve been running through my mind all night.
44.) Do you like plums? How about a date?
45.) I’ve got my iPhone and you have your phone number… imagine the possibilities.
Bad Pick-Up Lines from the Movies
The movies are notorious for using pick-up lines both good and bad. At Greeting Card Poet, we watch a lot of movies and we’d say that the bad pick-up lines outnumber the good pick up lines. Surely you remember Renée Zellweger saying, “You had me at hello,” to Tom Cruise. But it seems like there are more cheesy and inappropriate pick-up lines in the movies.
46.) “Do you wash your pants in Windex™? Because I can see myself in them.”
Mike Meyers from the movie Austin Powers one of many terrible pick-up lines that Austin Powers uses.
47.) “You give me premature ventricular contractions; you make my heart skip a beat.”
Natalie Portman delivers this line in the movie No Strings Attached.
48.) “We should mate, uh, date! I said we should date sometimes, you know socially.”
Ben Stiller in the movie Dodgeball.
49.) “I just want to tell you that you look like my dog.”
From the movie 17 Again.
50.) “Your eyes are amazing, do you know that? You should never shut them, not even at night.”
Oliver Martinez to Diane Lane in the movie Unfaithful.
51.) “I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal.”
Will Ferrell in Anchorman.
52.) You’re everything I never knew I always wanted.
Mathew Perry in Only Fools Rush In.
Even a classic like Gone With the Wind had this line delivered by Clark Gable’s character Rhett Butler to Vivien Leigh’s Scarlett O’Hara, “You need kissing badly. That’s what’s wrong with you. You should be kissed often, and by someone who knows how.” Not a particularly bad pick-up line, but certainly inappropriate (it was a kinder, gentler time when everything wasn’t so politically correct.) So, enjoy these bad pick-up lines from the movies, just don’t use them.
The Problem with Bad Pick Up Lines
A good pick-up line has led to some great conversations, but cringy pick-up lines have ended many chats before they even started. Cheesy pick-up lines are an integral part of the mating ritual. But, if you’ve already decided to use one of these embarrassing lines, you’re in over your head. Let’s face it, it’s hard to tell who would be more embarrassed: the person delivering the line or the person on the receiving end.
There’s always the hope that you’re going to elicit a smile or even better a laugh or nervous giggle. To avoid bad pick-up lines, be sincere, be honest, and be straight forward. It may not sound like much but if you don’t have the confidence to talk to a man or woman could, without an introduction, it’s best not to use a pick-up line. It will have the opposite effect and repel instead of attract.
A straight forward approach might work better
If you’re good looking, charming, and have an outgoing personality you’ve got a leg up on the competition. If you say something like, “Hi, I’m the answer to your dreams,” you’re already dead in the water. Use your judgment. Common sense should win out when deciding what to say. Bounce your opening lines off of friends of both genders.
So, in conclusion, choose your pick-up lines wisely and consider just saying, “Hi, my name is _____ and I’d like to meet you.” It’s not clever, but it’s not bad. It’s not corny, and the recipient just might appreciate a direct approach that isn’t couched in a smarmy pick-up line. Be smart, have fun, and may good fortune be with you.
— Tim Moodie
Tim Moodie works as a Copywriter and Creative Director. He spent many years writing funny greeting cards, coffee mugs, and toilet paper for Recycled Paper Products. And, as a happily married man, he is out of the pick-up lines game, but it doesn’t mean it didn’t try a few back in the day.
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